詩的論述

詩的論述/吳菀菱的文學理論(詩集)大綱 逍遙/1 噩夢/2 經偈/3 構造/4 派別/5 文字道場/6 心旅/7 獨立/8 玄學/9 快感/10

書寫狂熱(詩集)

書寫狂熱/吳菀菱 (我寫的是哲學小說)1 一個揭曉的諭令 終結在說哲意 心情的舒緩或緊急 寫小說是療癒經 可以又長又短的收納 故事引人遐思 這樣的謎 正是輕哲學 (我想要一個名望)2 名氣可以四通八達 只要有創意 代表意見的聲響 可以傳送玲瓏 所以我要名望來完整 為什麼需求 舉世的暢銷快感 (到處散播)3 我寫詩是到處飄 不求助成集 因為我自由如神通 隨手捻來便是詩 沈默是我假音 其實我詩寫不盡 像伝單一般地散播 (只有你了解我)4 我的一切只有你曉得 那文學的隱藏曠味 行跡中黑色幽默 誏你捧腹大笑 唯有你是我知音 如此懂我的暗示玄機 並且用回信愛我 (智齒憂鬱症)5 失去了智齒之後 我嗚咽地向你求救 為了你的聰慧 我誏它空谷兩個月 然後再為了你 去牙醫那邊填滿 我的智慧不如你高 於是我示弱 向你問色請愛 (了解彼此的虛為)6 我們無作三身的相愛 因為假戲真做 我欣慰你仍念著我 假如有人記錄 我們的對話 那是床頭合的妥協 昨夜我偎依你 多久都不嫌煩累 (潔身的自愛)7 不染污水塵埃的蓮 我垂向你的荷葉 忍受是捶練 我甘願出泥而美妙 花綻放在池中的靜說 法無邊的佛性 因潔身自愛 (我也要學法蘭西文)8 閔南語會像法文 真特別奇玄 我用靈犀向他亂學 私底下竊聽 法國鐵塔的入定 在法蘭酥上 我上飲食課程 (我要寫自創食譜)9 主婦料理的漫畫 還沒暢銷時 我就不再寫了 我有時會分析食材 通常我偏好素食 葷腥不要來熬 為人出版過丼專輯 但我是國際派 (香蕉脆片)10 這種台製食品 竟被外銷 為了支援蕉農 香蕉變貴了 像我對你拜物教 我喜歡吃的零食零嘴 就是你父權的 油炸橫切棍 理論証述/11 我喜歡觀察提問， 我是半路蹦出來的理論家。 我寫論述很主觀， 沒寫完絕不換氣， 我一寫就是三天三夜。 我靠直覺批評詩書， 我信仰新批評之顯學， 不知不覺得罪了作者， 因為我不了解一部作品， 為何不可多方位來看呢？ 小說藝術性要具足， 必須把技巧和編劇來練就， 並且不空洞， 有評論价值。 分析手法是抽絲剝繭， 應用理論， 心理學的學派的利用， 應是批判的基礎。 講的比寫的更快， 我要用錄音機說一段， 用直播報導， 任何一本書的讀後心得。 述說方法/12 他整晚在我嘴中講話， 吸光了我的口水液， 那就是深情默默， 我白天就深思其義， 寫出更棒的文章， 你的眼是話語的金光黨， 手掌撫摸我的側腰， 好性感阿，你稱讚我， 今天你專注聆聽我， 連天使也展翼而微笑， 我說得字字數据化， 你也曉以珠璣， 我好愛你的複數型耳語， 你就是修辭學， 擇辭而言之， 說真或假隨你便， 雙關義不難懂。 語言遊戲/13 我約你去天辺聊心事， 說到好笑的趣味性， 簡直忍悛不住而狂笑， 你和我一樣沒天沒地的忙， 忙著思索正與副面， 我們的局戲就是枕頭話， 你說要用原子筆來學繪畫， 我送你一大堆靈感， 不信別人的繪圖經驗， 只依賴自己推理。 喋喋不休/14 好像機關槍， 快速的寫出文本的愉悅， 這種內心的想像故事情節， 好像是謬斯的庇蔭， 誏我不肯罷手。 文明書店/15 這是我的虛擬書社，只發表我寫的書， 我的文明修養，在字句中展現， 流暢的行文，似乎標幟著永遠， 當季品只能上網看，沒有紙本， 看我倒數如流，如數家珍， 每一本都是我心血，嘔歌的行板， 二十多年來，從不輕易中斷， 寫作出版是我所熱愛，驕縱，傲視， 集結交織我的思想，想法的總合， 風格就是我的文化修養，行為批判， 言不及義是我所否定，不能溝通， 詩，畫，小說，散文，百放爭鳴， 我的修辭和文意，自由自在， 無有拘束，沒有拘泥的文言文， 我思我所想，我愛故我在， 閱讀我，你會得到所有的新智慧， 這間書店，我誏人流連忘返， 而且樂不思蜀，像一場景觀美好， 一幢堅固的文字城堡，文人傾慕， 只准有愛心的，記錄所聽聞， 不許抄襲，任何延伸的虛文章， 我將畢生獻給，文明書店的內涵， 只要你有求知慾，就明白我的思路， 不是一團毛線，而是一條絲巾， 文字創造生活圈，發展的妙趣， 意義屬性，和各類型的文化， 音樂，藝術，文學，哲學，廣告， 凡是你想閱覽的，都會提及， 只是，全是我主觀的觀點， 縱橫思覺旳劍拔弩張，華山論見， 這一次，我邀請書寫快感理論， 來訴說我內心閃動的，石火電花， 你來捧場，把手言歡好嗎？ 關於寫作/16 我心眼充滿血絲 徹夜未眠的趕稿子 每次都被採用 無比光榮的快樂 流暢是靈感來源之處 我知道寫作是一種曝料 挖掘得更深奧機密 會有更多稿費 而敍述文法 十分合乎後現代之混濁 根本是哲學術科語言 為了一字千金 我集中思緒 只為了創造佳文優篇 在歷史的印象中 發現各種細節祕密 寫作文本密集而無間隙 代表了天經地義 如是我聞 就在半百之際 佛要我再重說一回合 關於保守的書寫 把禮儀倫理 敦厚的全盤托出 乳液筆/17 如果我有一支乳液筆 我願寫盡天高地厚 你美療我的身体芳香 這瓶供應氛氳的禮物 好像在我身上寫著你愛我多深 感動的夜裏我以香味迷惑你 而你送我一枚定情金戒 那形狀有如鋼筆金盾 我一揉就碎 但是書寫你是堅強的筆劃 那代表著我願意 喝聲的狂妄/18 那些空白稿紙啊 誏我奮不顧身的投效 攪盡腦汁的書寫 就我所知的供出文章底細 它喝飲我筆下的思考汁液 我毫無保留的批判 每一條思路不會打結 說出世界上最公允的灼見 刺眼的意見法術 原子筆一支接一支 腹水溢盡換來無數稿費 我認為一張張白紙 是最貪婪的文字吸血鬼 我焚了那些筆跡 嗆到一個不行的後悔 因為我從不惜字如金非守財奴 我把稿紙的狂妄拋開 前進筆觸寫的世界 而曠大的網路 還是像抽水機一樣 永無止盡的吸乾我的每一滴心血 白紙黑字/19 凡寫下的就必須永恆 才能黑白互映 成為正字標記 可以增補或攔姍 文飾或改正 編輯的任務是校對 作家則是流利 不許出錯太過強求 白色襯托出無邪的黑字 那力透紙背的勁道 永遠的收藏 意義的城府深沈 像沈香發出雋永的氛圍 一篇文章的行氣 由字跡構成 是乾脆不黏牙的素讀 狂草/20 你風飛空氣中疾疾的狂草 無法整理焦點的篇幅 毛筆揮著略為乾枯的手指 如草原丘陵慕道的雲影 吹斷模糊之間的禮數 不規矩的立陣迎向下一行 更為狂熱而大焰驚心的筆劃 大書法家有御言示眾 徐徐而行的風範只是副歌 主要透紙的感知 還要讀出抽象立言的單字 成為字句經典的原點 你一除草 那斷斷續續的尾巴 就匆忙的躲進 密密麻麻的怪異 教雪白的宣紙也不容許 你評估橫豎的風靡 允文允武/21 文字曼陀羅的章法必究 充滿神話的經唱 一遍又一遍的默禱 那靈感使人文武交織 百般功夫在一筆 集千古萬代之聖潔於一身 千呼萬喚始出功德來 化文氣為太極 聚精會神互輝映 投筆從戎的矯情寫生 武俠功夫了得 給您立個永遠玄關碑 紀念汪洋江湖的潮流洶湧 抬起頭/22 想你一個深夜的白秋 霧色濃的山丘 豪無怨尤 抬起頭 仰望無盡的住留 天上的優秀 沒有盡頭 所求 也只有 綿密的星球 能夠安然旅遊 宇宙中眾光的天球 足以安慰暫留 美好的 溫柔 時光/23 我因為獎賞 而虛度了時光 以為頭髮不會蒼老 其實跟你偕老 是一項妄想 時間它不是網 不能控制到國王 自由自在的玫瑰花 也只有汪洋 才能找到方向 你是那天光 讓我癡迷讓我想 靠近你的欲望 盡情流浪 有夢想 守護在你的兩旁 你不要遺忘 講究/24 斟字酌句的目的 是為了成為金碧輝煌 而不是黑荷無花 畫一盞心曲 見琴賞詞一兩闕 給千古遺恨說聲晚安 講究你滿懷不能直譯的詩 斷層的心思常歡 我只能意會 你書寫狂亂之意象 必有一個中央蘊釀之義 是我期期艾艾的想法 剛好可以碰撞出火花的善良 不想也罷/25 你不想升等也罷 我也不願意工筆畫 為孤獨而含淚 這是修行者的懷抱之襟 總要腊炬成灰 才能享盡功名了得 錦衣夜行不如錦上添花 如此多彩的咬文嚼字 我既喜然而為 卻又不失金口之尊 沈默是最大的人間謊言 印在心中的字/26 得妙法良藥 無病且不老不死 心存虔誠敬意 可找到佛號永在心中的位置 卍字之為延伸 持久念經唱題之為修羅 即南無的百善 永久信仰的心狂奔 諸天善仲是我口罩上的福氣 永遠的七字菩提 是凡夫的救命恩者 我以原子筆描繪揮毫之 即使夢中雨中步行中 也不會忘懷 此經在我心上的投影 法香的忱著 書法狂熱/27 墨寶的堆積是否奏效 愈為輕盈或者沈重 持經者之約束 為齋戒沐浴 不使抄經惹塵埃 我狂命的抄寫 一顆寄寓甚高的虔心 字在筆下化為蓮華 流暢伝唱出更溫暖的和氣 雅致而文明的善書 遂成為一種值錢的藝術品 作家們爭相驚艷 因為比寫書好賺得多 伝染世間的書法狂熱細菌 在念珠的斷線中 執著著風雅的複製 書法書寫於是流行於文壇 曾幾何時的夢想 快要被巨人們各個超越 真是學藝超群的汗顏 快語人心/28 為了多說一些逆耳的話 竟修辭為口吃 我暢談次第一紊亂 只得向內巡視 說給自己一個人聽 雙關語曾是我的最愛耍寶 現在身體和肥豬之間 英文單字跨足台語 成了一則扭曲的笑料 有時書寫可以逼出最終真相 但口誤則會嚼舌根 使得文本尷尬 但小說始自於瘋言瘋語 何必負責去修修臉 狂語既出無恥跟著失效 咀嚼蠟/29 有時也形同嚼蠟 無趣到了上高峰的極點 孤苦伶仃的對話 不如改寫成一部長片 燃燒蠟燭的長度 那無聊會化作一種說話藝術 研究說詞的文賦 每個不善言辭的人們 都可以搜集手機中的對談 成為一篇小說的靈感 而主角可以是忘我的火雞 寫出繽紛/30 我也可能是記錄迷 痴狂的為寫作而不顧形象 不想回家跟失眠的床四目相對 旅遊各種書寫的立體姿勢 從記憶中釀出珍珠 去勇敢冒險 闖出一條思路 只因為繽紛太迷人 駢文太情色 誏人以身相許 不貪看別人的創作 只要能尋獲勝利的閱覽 人生是光明的駒 跑出一本本的走馬燈 字的癮君子/31 措辭，踉蹌和時間賽跑 文字是偽君子 令讀者拼命抽菸蒂 雙雙成為瘋狂的文字癮君子 一眨眼睛，忘情其中 深深被墨水灌醉 浮華在筆走龍蛇中想像 接下來的三心兩意 如何評定一本書的封閉因果 定稿/32 完畢一部作品有多累人 折磨心力的琢雕 神像一般的萬古流芳 各種文字類型 飄散出慧眼識芳語 定稿是一個階段的句點 有待書評來垂吊 是非天秤上的水準 美滿菩提/33 書寫一部情史 把時間管理妥當 慢慢的推磨 打字以外的書寫快感 美滿是豐收的心 佛理滿盈 抄詩寫經只為你 般若安詳 珍惜/34 昨天我又沒聽話， 去浴缸泡澡淨身， 你好生氣， 有潔癖的你， 給我一場情色很久的夢， 激情之後我才懂得， 你的力比多施不出來， 我悶悶的，在夜裏寫伊媚兒給你， 我不要聽到你男性的啜泣聲，我不忍。 風的故鄉/35 你暫住風的故鄉， 我盛情祝福，思念你， 像各種耳邊叨擾和喧囂， 我訴說的愛， 風一樣激狂，浪漫， 我令風格一樹的對話， 留存在彼此的內心深處，烙印。 擊打鍵盤/36 用手機打字 手寫一些情感教學 輪流排列出一首詩文 手唱頌美妙創意 打了鐵失了憶 與書寫結緣 像是一次次南柯之夢 夢土上收獲快語 流利的文法 以及唯心的故事 每個心愛的草體字元 匯成一篇完滿句集 狂語/37 我瘋狂的疾筆 意象充滿文字棋盤 淺見有深壑 洞見隱私 詩中的畫任你想像 書寫狂人 赤裸文學的修飾 驚呼一語 就地震了讀者的腦 字幕/38 拼命得像記者爆料 對照文字與言說 聽翻譯寫乍現靈思 字幕是一座溝通的橋 多少訊息輸入輸出 現實的要命消息 雖然閃的曇花一現 卻有深奧的內幕 書法/39 墨水是定型的液體 毛筆這撣工具 幾乎是乾笑掃把 把字體自我繪出筆跡 不准有脫窗的字列一員 守規格的抄經 是正道蘊蓄 文釆飛翔 佛的文學創作 永恆經典 假如馬路可以寫/40 那是地上標誌 公共符號 但若你缺乏紙 可以想像 馬路是你揮灑不完 一張黑色的長捲宣紙 以金彩書寫路況 安全順暢 用速度寫所有門路 掃街是一種手法 寧願是鑲嵌 行車規則規劃規範 說比寫的不一定快又好 只求為都市立命 不要有悲傷意外的文本 誏標旗飄高尚口號 流通交通這本書 意義/41 看到紙就發作了寫作癮 演講紙上的兵術 長途的文藝路 也有洛陽紙貴的時候 總喜歡筆記胸壑義 搶著記錄流暢的文思 意思是一種玩味 在語言文字的泥淖上爬 像嬰兒室的修行 思想是崇高的山丘 每天都可看日月太極昇華 學習寫哲學細緻心法 為智慧澆上營養 想法必要真學 書寫的義務 文人病/42 一定要咬文嚼字 思索用字遣詞 風尚習成的積極 不斷的意謂詩之為物 文詞斟酌像米粒雕刻 支持言論自由權 對人身攻擊很敏感 挑剔文題的鞭辟入理 筆是文人的筷子 挑起超級的邏輯理論 無竹使人俗之過 從來都是個人修為 尊崇的指標 文字槍/43 他是劈頭的口說文字槍 教學子彈的真理 專心聽也不一定懂 胡說一通的小小兵語言 只有他完全懂 天龍國語的真言宗論 於是用語音輸入長話一篇 省略訓話營的痛苦 說道是用心良苦的差事 他的真槍實彈 不是文字玩具的騙術 福跡/44 福到了的字跡 陪伴我的書案之心旅 愈寫愈幸福 臨陣磨槍的硯墨 成為秘密符號 好書是口福 壞書是口禍 修行福運 唯一的標題是笑口常開 像吃大福中的紅豆泥 鴻運當頭的那桌 幸福彼岸不遠 符/45 一符好藥是佛心 藥到病除 每個詩人都有自己佛經 也是詩之符的創造者 文字結界四通八達 筆出既然成文 如何寫出心中的精華 符合獨照的思惑 浪潮的符合 拼湊熱鬧滾滾的文章 符咒語防止厄運 逢凶化吉 文字吉祥是良禪 主動書寫/46 沒自動書寫這回事 只有主動書寫 或者寫了後忘記 為了教育目的 每次起頭開始寫 都充滿了希望 細心研磨文字經 雕琢內容中的主見 唯有將腦子善用 才不會有冷嘲熱諷 回收的垃圾處理 善書/47 一人一本 寄寓善念之舉 滿佈世間 寫善書的是居士 無作三身 使癒合心靈傷口 治療可憐 但願人手一本 發心大念 慈悲為懷的旨意 伝遞給全世界 一心向善 善即根本大法 救渡眾生 文本快感/48 文之悅這本書 令人想要無止盡的寫 忙碌在文字堆中 疊著考究的創作字體 為了文字書寫的快感 我狂命的創造 文學積木的痕跡 奔跑在稿紙之中 還寫滿本靈感的關鍵字 靈機一動書寫狂熱 文本快感雖然廉价 但每次都充實 期刊/49 就是載不動幾多愁 才誏主編累壞了 編也編不完的續期 每本都新鮮噬寫 拼了命強出頭的發表 不一樣的主題篩選 激勵了大家蠢蠢欲動的筆 智者讀得當仁不誏 期刊的出版與投稿 是評審的把關 不可偷渡 這個人人動筆的年代 書寫有如室內划船 跋山涉水/50 筆下的遊歷風景 是經驗取向的 為了情節攪盡腦汁 文字的大觀園 是對聯的賞心悅目 來到山水吉地 想像力琢磨成河川 山勢是筆走龍蛇 為了詮釋學 費盡口舌和文筆 和文壇一拚 貢獻出建設性的文思 所謂書寫的旨趣 獨樂樂不如眾樂樂 (end)

Face universe

face universe/pollywoo freedom silence, I won`t let you, I feel empty world inside of me, all I need is peace and calm. Dream of sitting on your class, but I don`t know why you only need fantacy, no want real me beside you. I have to face the truth, being alone is a great room to think, I don`t want to die. I try not to miss you, I am not a play girl any more, you don`t know my need. You lie to me, I don`t care, you are not honest and kind, you stole my heart. So bye bye,I live in my shelf of loving myself, I refuse the class on whose store. I learn selfish from you, and every one. You cheat me, I know every student like you, so I give up once being your learner. You like young girl don`t you, I rather keep your lie in the grave, forget you. I swear never read book again, all wordwill change overtime, I believe.(end) You never care about me, just look the strange part of me, I take care of me, that`s fine, I hate you, you are a gay, a big Faker, I think I see you wrongly. Ugly is the penis, nobody want it, I will stay away from people, they are crazy shit. Distance. Long as gap, I don`t mind for the world is worth to curse, every one want money, I have cold war with everyone, who care about lousy architeches. I am afraid of this world, no one has no crime, I want all of you losing face, I live in my own way, I want to be a free will person, I can see everyone is a lie, no any moment is forever, I better learn to face myself to sleep and live well. He is a brainy dynamo, he brain wash his students just want them to brown study by intellectural brain wave, we brandy the scandal as true love, he say that I am a beautiful bandsman, we have no audisom for each other, I am a autodidact but not a autographing writer, he tell me he want to be a AI automaton maker by automation to chase my authorship colony singer, we are never affectless, just like allowance of beneficial buckeye on our connective mind, I cook brown rice with brown sugar for our cat, I browse his baleful bad faith, and he has bagful explain like bail for freedom, I know he is a bantam who ever watch baffle with me, today my bankbook get a banquet of receiving stock money he exchange bankroll for me, banjo I laugh like this, although my two arms axon like awl nailing on me, my azure named and I like to observe the ballyhoo, I use byword like a brakeman, eczema has gone. 戀人絮語的愛情哲學(love philosophy of lovers fragrance discourse)by pollywoo (lovers fragrance discourse) is a book written by Roland barthe, he gather students report to collect a thick thesis about love, it is also a quest to love goddess, it is a group creation book, but it has its depth of thoughts about the progress of romance. this is a disconstructional literature book, it mention about the love in the process of many emotions and struggles. watch drama/ I watched operetta, my brain laugh like inject opiate,rattle snake makes merattlebrain,the desecrate of drama perform a desicate desrter fettle like fetus feud,the fiddle begin like feudal,the acter he galop at full speed,bearish break the ice.motley motto mousse the mottled mound,like sponge baby,spoken streamlet and stray with his strap,he is enterprising and the oracle is a circular opt,opulence the optic with opprobrium words,I drink cognate cognac brandy,he cohere with cohesive coil like cogwheel,coconut coinage is like furrow,I feel fuss as fusionbomb,in futurity the peach fuzz is a insination,fury fusey the fuselage,inshore inset fuzzy love.the actress her is uprightness,a interposition Interpol,she interment and intermission the intern,it cause interjection,Hurrah! In the interim she interdiet intercourse and interchangeable sex among herbalists,there is a herald that carnivore with helpmate be killed by helve knife,I hold my hemstitch hope that they get both heraldry and herbage. shy thinker/ I try to not be so shy, but honestly I just can`t speak on public, because I have lecture forbid, but I can chat a lot with my friends, I tell the secret that in side my mind, and it is so much release of me. I am asked about why not log on facebook recently, I know he is watching me, but I feel tired, don`t want to go facebook so far, I don`t know what I should show to him, to make him happy. last night I dream about him, he hear me cry, so he come to save me by teaching me psychological lessons, I am so happy that he show up in front of me, he shines me like a lighten star. I understand that I am not shy as he, but I am a conservative thinker that I never think out of the box, I am a little odd, after I am cured by the theory he teach, but I wonder if I am rescued by him. because of him, I get lucky on my every thing, I seem like a slot winner that I get eight million by three minute, I am daydreaming that I know both of us need money very much, we have to pray. after pray, we are better communicating on things we thought, we are shy on sexuality, but we aRE not so wanting on that, for we both are middle age, and sex can`t arouse our body pleasure. he read a lot, and I can correct him, for I used to read a lot before, we read the same kind knowledge, and we all know it is masculine theory, so I decide to join a feminist poem writing action. but I don`t hate man, I just hate bad man, bad people who do wrong things makes me hate them, I really want to love those shy thinkers who are kind and generous, I believe that will be thankful. (Calm self) I really quiet down myself for a week, for I get the help of mind curing of a woman, she let me feel the healthy mind everyday, if I feel something wrong, I will do her recipe on my shoulders, and no more noise will come to me, or bother my self thinking, it is really a free charity to me, for I can feel the good part of myself, and get well in each moment I spend, I wish if some on need help, you can tell me, I try to contact the helper with you. face universe/pollywoo i once like a turtle never strach out my communication with the social circle, but i find out why in my mind ghosts are fulling around me, because i cant deal with the mess i write each and everyday, and those who read my writings on the newspaper come to me, they are mad about my feminist theory, somehow i get the insperation from their reactions on me, and i kind of like revenge writing down what they did to me, and it is just like reserch on huminity on ghosts, it was frenzy fun to earn the money from all souls that surounding me and i can tell each of them characters. now i am happy to accept the universe in my peaceful mind, i keep my speed of my mind with the horoscope, and i believe that i finally get ride of me moody fate, i save a bill of money in the bank, for prepare for a need that in my future life i can live happy with this money, the money keep growing as every time i go to the bank near by,i am happy that i become a little wealthy as i hide a wish in the russia doll, "i wanna get rich", isnt it a positive and good wish to everybody`s life! i like to read books, study the mistery of books, i am a writer who love rational thinkings, also i write too many unpublished books that no one want to introdue for me, but i still get reputation in some way of field in writing psycology of women. i get to know psycology of men in my university days, by reading master`s books, i think they missed the hatred of female`s mind in too many ways, such as how suffering all women ever experience like birth, work, family, school, career, and so on, women are motif in this world, if they live in the world of no love, the universe they cant face is blue. in the maze of my reading experience, i like to dig out the taboo of sex knowledge for it is the opposite of buddhism, i want to realize both topic, to show the reality of belif between saint and nasty. some how love is the huge qust between this myth on the cross road, i ask all people show the EQ of love when they face the universe of affactions, to fullfill the dream of daring to love. there maybe danger in the path to wonderland, but i suggest everyone should give a try to feel the reality and fantacy, more imagination can rich the life of chasing love, when friendship comes, it is a kindness that you share your trust to be frank to your friend, even it is a saint soul, you can spoil self by speaking to a supposed object, to say all the thoughts to the muse inside of you, then you will possible to become a very charming writer in your effert to the contribution of the book land. every night before i get to sleep, i will tell myself that a nice dream will show me what to do in front of the waking up next day, i believe analyze the dream by instinct way is to forget the nightmare or sweet dream overnight, to face the universe of my mind in each whole new tomorrow, so i am not afraid of darkness and fear of bad dreams any more, that is just a mirror of reality like a self movie i play inside my closed eyes, i like to share one dream yesterday, as i try to collect a clock of my father, i get arkward struggle at the failure of the falling down of all pieces in the clock, i think maybe it shows that i am wasting time to face the left hours i can still live with my old father, i should do somthing to make him happy, i wish him healthy till live long with my mother, i like this faith duely. i have a proffeser who teaches psyco-analyze of Freud, i just think about if it is suitable for me to accept the mind scan to sickness of patients nowadays, he talks about the precautious and transfer complex, he also tells the destructive truma and remembering of memory, in case history, no scientific function can distingruish the truth of narrative and identification of recollection, myth has its meanng, before finding repetation it is meaningless, it is not obvious then be called myth, patients are lke ponds, they always transfrence to love the doctor, to escape the illness of their fellings of belonging. my professer anounce that women has three type, ideal woman, flower idiot, and dark african. i think i have all of these type symptoms, because i change my self with my changeable writings, so i confess that am not a healthy mind when i speaking theory of feminism and literature. if the body is an earth, then the protection of comforting energy must be the hydrosphere, that covers the curing mind literature in the conclusion of happy ending, psyco-analyze will be the basic theory that apply in the critics of such kind of works. i try to distingrurish serious writing from psyco-analyze function, and i find out this writing gives us a model of not to make psyco mistakes in reality, so many people concern about the human healthy of mind, just like literature reflect the communication and mind activity of the roles, so as us live in the streamline of everyday brain working, if we are ill then how we show that each wrong idea has a turning back shore to return, only by correction and self three qualitys, tention, intention, attention, one can get back to wholely self by easy way. schizo is not a traditional illness in psycology field, it is first named after a phylosofy writer and thinker, who once crying beside a horse, because he has sypathy on that laboring horse; Gothe is being named as schizo patitent too, because he is the pioneer of horror novel, thriller, and fancy literature. schizo patient is standing in the land of huge space and time that the illness cant be traced when he conqur the doctor, and recover from messive thinking. if he can tell every motive reason of his action, then he is more closer to healthy life then ever before. at least Freud didnt conclue schizo in his study, one scholar named Hanna Segal, she is making efferts in curing schizo in Freud time, but her working havent being translate yet, it is quite a pity, as i know some schizo paitents are genius not found in the hospital and society, now this illness is changed into the name of thinking disorder, but some easy mind patients still make crime if they are not cured well. Hanna is teached by Malanie Kline, they study the nacisism of scizo patients, she has one book named "psycoanalyze, literature and war", i beliieve the war means hyteler caused racism and the struggle between psycoanalyze and literature, but i have never read this book, and i try to do my own analyze between these two, to comform my writing in the sphere of psycology which is related to buddhism, i whish myself to meet ideal lover, but no one comes to me, only series of daydreaming that hold my breathe that i feel like dying drowning in the water of sex, i have paranoid of fency sexuality, but now i have cured by nearby clinic doctor, and because of i study psycoanalyze recently with theteaching from professer, i get to know being a normal person sometimes is hard to control. i remember that professer has mentioned about little Hans, Anna, and Dora, this three case historys make me think of my adore to some famous males, and finally get tragedy in the end i live in hospital for a while, this is painful without freedom, i heart is opening after several time of hospital experience, i realize that to be balance and catharsis in mind is never fall in sick love again, so i imagine one day i can be rich from those novels i wrote, but this kind of psyco writing seems only stand for the taboo that lovers dont do, and finally my nagative novels have contribute people to chase love in a blind and dark room, without the light of knowing each other, therefore i think romance is dead fountain. curing literature is very nice for people ever get hurt to read, it heals people`s heart of broken, i feel like getting ride of the tragedy for forgetting every texture of adoring some one, it is not what i really need love, but i write love so i need a male muse, so i think that i was over serious in the drama of my mind, that`s why i get hurt by being rejected by male, love is just a experiment of my writing, no need to take it as a truth or reality, it can be a made up myth or a bad legend, just we cant take it seriously that we want a happy ending, we only can fency or imagine that we get good wedding but in reality we divorce for we are not born to be married, we just need a relationship. last night i am too tired that i sleep long time without eat pills, i think i am getting a deep dream of test that if i can risk my life to protect a trilogy of sex novel, to pass it to a publishment secretly, it is quite strange that why people dont have to read then they know the taboo of sexuality, for it is the original sin i think this is not a saint deed inmy dream, only when the book bing rewrite and being burned that i have no any idea of sadness or regret, i onlly take it normally that the deed is for making babys, not for pleasure life, but all my writings are taking sex as a interest between both sex, i never think about the things will happen to me, cause i am only a narrative teller of fentasy, i couldnt find a positive way to escape from the brain mystery. dream is a kind of existence, for us to rethink to ourselves if we have some reflection crime in the dark dream, we are forced to think over the dream that without any other main role but us, writing is a kind of existence too, just i often take dream as a sorce of imagination, but sometimes i will made up the plots to get my point of view, i know that writing if cant last long in the name of love, then it must be pervent writing for everyone to write, it result the high and low quality mix in the litrature stage together, real literature should care about the problem about peoplewho cant writing, and it is the right of writers to tell the deep reality of every difficulty of people that life is not easy for the complicated mind of people, the humanity is just like a joke, and a history of psycoanalyze. the depression of civililation is all too well, it prevent from rudeness and evilness to happen in the body and mind of female, why is schizo is not rooted from little age, because it is unsuiteable for the one to live in a society of diversity, but his writing is not based on the torture he get from the reality, the lesson from social university is to get adventage from reality, but writers always love to create, out of a idea that makes him joyful, but it may hint a damage to the people`s reality of pure joy.we all know that mind is a history of twisted kind of everyone, no one is always upright, for selfish and self situation, one must concider what the future will be, and try effert to make it as richful as real, no one want to die in blond hell of life, that`s why the brain seems to be the main leader of one`s behavior, talk, think, act, eat, devide, sick, nonesense, it is the controler of one`s deed and karma, so we need to perform like a civilized one in the public and then relax in different way, it is the two sick faces of all fellow people, so no one can escape the duty of self esteem. to make a progress of ones own, one must study hard and read more, but where is the money to get a good book like saints think, it is a question for education to solve, what if a student refuse to read anything, refuse to use brain on abstract thinking, a teacher must give him a motive of reading intention, to think more is not smart, to think right is smart, but in the river of info how one to make judgement on different kind of flatter words, if speaking is just to make communacation and relation free, how to concit that we have prejedy and disbelief on the foreum on television, we all know they are making show effect only, no pne really care about the sufferer in the case history.i really hate to watch hypecratic talk show because it is talking nonesense, no deep thoughts like a schaler or psylosofer really think of the way out, and really i have to say that each people have no solution if they dont change for the better, no one can help them to live like mouse. how to unlock my mind of soundless, i think writing is making trouble, but the money is really tasty that i cant give up the reputation of writing, i like to be a none heteria person, being quiet like a baby, when i cry on the pillow i need a voice to tell me not to waste tears, that`s not the fine way to save crisis of myself, but a spell from buddha really save me, i think i am the lucky one to have a lot of fans following me, so i need to be healthy to justify myself, in order to begin again.writing is a curing way for a isolate heart, i think no matter whatever you write, never think evil to set up for some innocent citizens to be the one you write, fate is not made up, it is a group of your life punishment and the relaiton you make, good or bad is what we choose for, not really a god who watch us each and everyday, we are the observer of ourselves, we are the fater when we talk like a novelist, or write like a novelist, no one can produce a crime for you if you dont jump down the trap. how quick we get through a wound and get out of it, it is just like writing a novel and forget about it, then you are cured for you learn to forgive, if tomorow i am dead, i wont regret for i enlong my life enough by heaven`s pray, i am the final one that believe people are all kind and nice, grace like mother mary, now i dont write evil, and i am not evil all the time, but i know a wrong idea can push you into hell, so mind the heart, never mind if people say something wrong of you, you wont become that way if you hold up your breathe and tell yourself that i am ganna be fine for i never do immoral things, you will be a good liver in your life, a good writer is a fake, not through all practice and training cant make you a AUTHOR, you have to experience the life to tell the truth of logic you admit, for me i totally give up love, but i still write the love i belive, i am angel of my self, schizo analyze is making alternative self, not like psyco analyze it is early close, patriarchic prejedice, and to decode nomality and innormality, it takes texture of serching a mind if it is sick. curing my university is the only way to get healthy, i am glad tonight i have an evoke of dream, taht makes me refresh, i dont need to face the disaster others judge me, i am the master of my mind, i am from now on willing to be a writer of healing. believe in magic, and you can get free of trouble and worry, the shortage of intellecture is not a wickness, the more you read the more you get crazy, dont easily believe in others saying, you have to prove it in your own way, and psyco analyze is the best way, you can see through others mind, and the breaking ice is to defense not to be cheated by others, while religion can let you believe in yourself, to worshiping yourself, when you are all alone, writing a poem collection can be a solo working of mind, and a way to learn to get alone with yourself, writing is facing myuniversity for a long time, to help myself free. wisdom comes from life experiemce, that`s for sure, but reading make us choose both side of wisdom, i like to read horoscope to do the fate of my everyday life, but i feel a little objection that i dont like to read the knowledge nowadays, for thirty years of reading experience, i know some people writing for twisting my viewpoint i find out from the very first origional books, like game theory it is a methamtic theory on unsolved exact, but now some writers apply it on company and life reaction principles, i have to judge it, because it is not the way they say, in postmodern days, people are telling lies that they dont know, fact is a jail that you cant get into, love song is killing you that you dont get it, we love to hear good lyrics but not trust it, we are struggling between the fashion and postfasion, if i say i dont believe in fashion, then i can be a frank writing worker. the hospital give me drugs to kill me, i run to the street clinic to search for help, and i find that i never a problem of this society, just the government treat me as a problem, set me up in the id of blue patient, all my life i running in the way of subnormal name, just because i am not feeling like to tell the truth, if i make up a wish of buying things, i think it is trash thought, i live in the space of trash free, i dont like to make junk of thoughts, but the televsion force us to. what can we do, not to see the media going mad, it is because the mouth is free for alter wrong idea to make money so people rush to dare say wrong ideas on the screen, what a shame for them to say slogens. writing is a big engirneer, if you do it little by little, you make it huge finally, your voice is loud, in the every word you say, i am a reporter of my mind, any reader can see that some times i am not serious and hurmor, and people dont like me this way, they like me to appeal the truth of human`s weakness, and the destiney of my story, why people dont like to hear the brave of saving poors, it is a myth to tell right from wrong, but i can easily find the answers. if the answer is changeable, it must be popular for people to believe, for they just like fresh new staff, they forbid the universe truth that life is boring, so we wrieters become entertainment producer, why dont they at first study the trancedence of tragedy, but study the bitrth of tragedy i ask them face their universe first, in order to prevent the mind from broken.in such alien world, people are sinking in thier own interest, and favor of loving, but they cant escape from working to make money, in the capitalism rules, no money means poor, rich is bad for growig of mind, if money can buy wisdom, why still people so foolish, to kill time, to tell lie, to spend show life in the day of the falling psyco analyze, people can do anything they want by money, they cant buy healthy, because the body is your universe, if you dont take care of it, you will go crazy or insane, by the bothering of outsider, the peaceful mind is to kill the fakeness of this world, to obtain the self satified spiritural energy and wealth. depending on others is a bad attitude, doing your own thing, dont be insonia in healthy life, the world always has a trend to cheat you, and remember writing can be a way to cheat others too, so it is like a compitition of lie racing, tell a lie seems no big deal, but in business field, lie will make you stunble.curing writing seems follish, its logic is childish, but the evil world wont stop for that kind of story, so i support religion writing better, it may be good healing to the humanity of broken heart. i think reading can be a interfere force in the people who are sick or unperfect minded, because they will learn the crime thriller writer`s book, to make the same crime, it is dangerous influence. news has no soul, it reports the bad and ugly side of the society, but if we take it as a lesson, we might live good in the shelter of mora;ity, no body will harm us for we walk together with the path of universe, all horoscope has its rules, under the order of news, something we can do is pray, for the karma of the world to reduce and welcome peace to come. the starship is loading our sense and mind, into a never stop road on air, in the darkness, our vision of subconscious is so very fuzzy, that we dont understand how to escape from darkness to the bright light we finding for, searching for, even dreaming of it, the universe is shined by the sun, the center of our milky way, to follow the universe is to get up with the space of the world, so that you will get healthy and happy that you will do your things well, no any other obstacles can stop you, when we writing, we feel the same way too, insperation never end. if every one is a planet, then psyco analyze is the universe, it precise the paitent`s situation, to open his tie in his heart, it is a healing of mental science that better then read mind curing, the later is often using when writing a narritive text, but not a ill book or case history, as we learn the hole science of chinese medicine curing, we know every line of our body is connected, so we can heal the part of hurting by message the hole, i try to find out my silence of sleep by opening the light, and i try to message my solar hole when i get headache, it really works, so as writing, if curing is not good enough topic, then why not write about feelings you hidden inside. curing writing is to report what make you suffer, honestly tell in the diary that who influnce you, and who bolly you, the process of experience if too painful, you do not want to recall, then you can tell some one in the clinic doctoring room, that you dont want to suffer any more, to become healthy is possible for you in the future, if you use the right method to cure yourself, you can be like me that happy and peaceful everyday, reading the small book of curing tips, i really get a lot of profit that i want to share with those who are not happy, and to cure them by the rules i read. first of all, i want to share my history of mess image come from ghosts, thay force me to have sex, i have no way to escape, so i go abroad to find adventure of sexuality, and seven days i get back to my home, they still trouble around me, i am in the hell of soul sufferig endless sexuality with ghosts, but somehow it is more pleasure then real sex, i endure until i am forty more, i find a good friend he judge me that i am wrongly doing pronogrophy, so i have self rethink over and over again, i finally get a curing help from a place where is free to cure people, i listen to her words and cure the way she said, then i buy some rings to keep bad people away, i am totally cured, my world is so calm that no sound or image bother me, untill today i can happy doing what i want. library collect/pollywoo my teacher has a special taste that he loves to collect standard books, which is good quality in the content, every book that he buy is so full of philosophy depth, and I really love the heart that chasing after the truth and never rest and stop, he pursuit the consumption of books which all kinds of language he can understand, is all what he really realize not just show off. he once announced that he want to donate his all collections to the library, I wonder why he buy and send the blood of his treasure but not build a library of his own, but I can't figure out, I think maybe he is out of selfishless goal for all people can study and read what he try hard to collect.

Saint dream

saint dream/pollywoo(2017/4/4) when i have a dream of he cleansing face on my back, i sense him still need me with company, but i dont want him any more.he is a phantom around me, i have several of saint dreams because of his show up, but my brain told me that he never give me any presents such like travel together, or buy me a ring to praise me how good cooking i am doing to him, he just like a gangster on my soul that asking for more and more.but it shows how dignity he has to being alone, he is a tender lover that only in my dream. my reality is very moral, but in my dream it is so lot of plots to write down as recording document to analyze, just like i am female Freud doctoring myself every night.tonight, i have a peacefully dream, that is beause of i pray for god to let me sleep without night mares, but tonight i have terrible dreams of my shadow, i take action to forget about it, and this is really very good to me, i need no signs to symbol my life any more, i am with myself all alone. tour note/polly woo i have been to so many places that are countless, i write down some notes about my memory, and i travel around taiwan so happily that those memory i cant forget. (1)228park history muzem(228公園) thus is a beautiful park, with a historical muzem in the door, when i enter it i ask myself why japanese authority wanted to build a western Memorial hall like this, may be it is out of heritage from Holland and Spanish power ruling, and it is as white as snow on each wall out side and in side. there are some decorated pillars on the roof, and each corner has its special grace sculptures, they are Rococo style of old establishment that remain the atmosphere of classic so well, i observe it with my eyes of diamond, and i find out it is a real richful treasure that when i discover the structure of deep intentions, i can realize that this building is a luxury gift that colonial country given to us taiwanese, how cant we treat it like a heaven present, and protect it well. (2)eastern velly of taiwan island(花東) there are so many rice growing over the farm land, in the rainy day we go through the eastern velly,where there are breathing mountains with clouds covering around like fog, and the small house are almost white style that makes the mood of this field so fresh and bright, as we find out this quiet heaven as a neighborhood of the main jade mountain, i also see the purity of fore chilai mountain on the other side, the green gress of home is so lightly removed in my mind, that i will never forget the insight of scene. (3)pingding old stream(坪頂古玔) we walk through the entrance of pingding, and along the way with bamboo stick on hands, we climb the ladders of stone after a picnicking rest in the concrete bridge, we reach the dingshan bus station, but the time is still two hours away, so we come to the coffee shop and have a very wonderful afternoon, the farmer boss is so glad to serve us water and coffee, with lotus cookies and a holland old map of where we are in young ming mountain, we have a very enjoyment of time on marching in. (4)dragon head mountain(龍頭山) around the moshen blog, there is a broken dragon head mountain and stream over there, the sightseeing is very fabulous that i watch the touring bus go right down to the center of the stream, and then we run to the blog to drink a nature coffee and aiyu beverage, there is a empty alley along the blog, every school and house are closed, we cant find the culture of native life, for they all move to the citys, and never return. (5)sainter spring(聖人瀑布) there is a sainter spring on the final station of bus to the hiking road, i go to see the long clean spring that flowing down the river with huge stone on its stream, i sit on the sidewalk to wait for the return bus to come, my mom go to see the village in front of the station, and describe it to me, we meet a old female farmer who have a planting veges career on the mountain, we take the same bus to the mrt station, and finally we feel very content with this tour. (6)ulai shopping and dinner(烏來) we go to ulai to see the popular production and old street, and there is a small muzem of origional race, report living history and showing the life style of ulai people, the ulai river is so large that a long bridge is over the trouble water, we have a chat in the small dinning restaurant, eating some vege and chicken meat on the table, after the sun is set, the station is getting dark, we get on the bus by long line waiting, and in my mind i remember the coming road is so beautiful that we all get a marvelous time. (7)small green pool(小碧潭) we take the mrt to the small green pool, it is a place where roadside stand are all souround on the two sides of the bridge, the riding boat is renting for tourists to play, and i watch the lake with unspeakable mind, somehow the water is not so pure that it smells, i see the high price estate advertising is spreading all over the road, but i dont really afford to live here, so i left with a mindful memory that never feel like go back here, because it is a pollute pool. (8)support north temple(拱北殿) here is a popular place where people are all happily going inner and outer part of the temple, in the square lots of gatgering noise are processing, we walk around the heaven father's temple, it is hell buddha who stand on the supporting stage of the worshipping room. (9)golden dragon lake(金龍湖) the lake looks like golden waves on the surface, we walk along the wooden bank, the sunset was so beautiful that it colours us with the heat and sweat, the temple in the upper ladder is support rice noodles, because today is Buddha's birthday, the high building in the middle of the lake looks like solitude, although it is deviced with elevater, but seldom inhabitants come to visit the lake, maybe they just get tired of the scence everyday in the window. (10)danjhon university(淡江大學) the university is empty in the new year day, as we enter the school, we have to get the permission of the guardian to visit whole campus, after we walk on the literary major building, i found it so narrow in the class room that almost no pass way for students to get out or get in, how they made it, i dont know, perhaps the classic pathway of the garden is where students chatting under the shatter of the long route of winding park, i sense the romantic air of red build dream filming around here that so nice. (11)chuchen ceromony park(中正紀念堂) it is a nice day as i go see a theater perform in the concert hall, i saw the lover drama of drum and mass singing together, the night was so decent that i can feel my friend sit in the front seat to murmur with my mind, he always wants to watch a performance with me but my mom is sitting next to me, so i can only enjoy and analyze the theatre with him inside our subconsciousness of communication, how glad it is to spent a night with my favorite one in such a hall. (12)stream of fir wood(杉林溪) the atmosphere is very fresh, the tree is so straight talk like jokestick, there is a blue dragon spring in the end of hiking way, and when we reach there we all wet and hot, it is the time when climbing mountain is so interest and fun, we get to the eye of the heaven and earth, where there is a stone on the wall look like a white owl head, it is so proudly that we climb the top scene and take photo on the facebook, it is a very meaningful traveling experience. (13)xinglong park(興隆公園) the park is like buddhaism atmosphere for the pool is springing beautiful and all kinds of plants are growing so well, the new built park bridge is like a pink rainbow that in the center of the pool, it arouse so many image thought about the moon elder who connect people's wedding red line, but since its just a traditional legend, the park is decorated by the mood of wonder land that we like to exercise a little around such kind of scene. (14)green lake park(碧湖) the lake is huge with beautiful scene of surrounding plants and sightseeing in the center, the birds come close the water and the lake surface is like waves of bible saying, it is very saint that i am moved by the white bridge and the under water, i have so good memorys with my lover by the lake, every time i run to see him, he never know i have no time to go around the lake, because i visit him behind my mom's back, i am afraid of being scold by her, and my lover, for i love them both, dont want to be unhappy about it. he told me the lake is a last purity land he guardian for me, i am very touching to see his kindness. 女性福祉 1 女性為了保護自己，多半活在自己的內心世界，以女性思想為中心，看這個印象世界，陰性的反應，和母系社會的權益，如何支配著男性的需求，這就是男女對治的煩惱。如果男女朋友合得來，就不會有許多煩惱，或麻煩，假如不相配，再怎麼條件好也是沒有用的。 2 世界寂靜了，只有我和我的靈魂，在沉思對話著，曾經擁有的，並不會憑空消失，反而更飄出雋永的香。一代新人換舊人，被淘汰的人，只能孤單過歲月，住悲慘世界的遭遇挫折己心，向過去的婚姻說告別吧！ 3 愛是用金錢來衡量的，若是沒有錢，哪裡會找得到愛的施捨，女人就這麼現實，但世界也會翻轉，由女人來供養男人，這是眷戀，看上眼的付出，在愛情史上女人的愛都是浪漫情懷的展現，表示男人功利薰心，自以為是，其實這試探，是在探索男人的美德。 4 女人不要男人的世界，很多人都知道，男人吃盡女人豆腐，還剝削她，女人需要男人關懷，鬥嘴，回敬，但是很多男人不解風情，認為女人需要男人的錢，和登對的陪伴，曬恩愛，這只是初戀階段，進入本質之後，女人為了福祉設下戰場，給男人下帖書。 5 異性戀不好參，很多障礙，但是速食愛情不會消失，通常愛上一張臉孔的愛，是愚蠢的，但是年輕人們心甘情願，死纏爛打，只為了一張迷人的一見鍾情，這痴心妄想也是愛情生態的一種，只不過現在流行的是愛上一顆精心計畫的腦，聰明對付是為了愛的追逐。 奧妙之處 1 蒼生的心，本來就有清濁之分，因為業障浮現出來了，所以要淨化，就要互相扶持，互相砥礪，不要面對蒼生還頌押韻詩，讓他們覺得莫名奇妙的。蒼生分男女兩種，人鬼殊途，但是十界互具，餓鬼界也是要去折服的眾生之一種類別，不要恨鬼，他們也會示現神奇跡象，讓你有如處於奧妙之境。 2 因為有許多不同的機根，所以存在著各種法界，一切眾生修行人生大事，生老病死之外，還有愛情，婚姻，生孩子，孝親，賺錢等，社會大學修的就是這些學分，然而有些風雅之人，如文學家，就是愛修行知識，智慧，才藝，音樂，語言，烹飪，等領域的事情，奧妙的人生，多麼奪目精彩的成功標的，需要我們去參透了悟，所以從閱讀中親近善知識，是一個契機，人生還有許多學分可修德。 3 人生如夢，但是要看得清醒一點，將道德從頭修起絕不會後悔莫及，曾經被稱為幽靈人口，獨行俠，因為不相信人心的詭譎，現在好很多，相信佛友的說法，幫助，善誼，我再也不理會善良人士以外的愛心能量了，因為善惡分別是長期觀察出來的，真實不虛。 4 連續劇教人學習正直的心，將不負他人的愛情修得完美，圓融，女角的重要性，遠遠高於男角的創造性，因為女性思維模式，是一種窮究戲劇的追戲人想要懂得的心曲，我們暫時稱她為主軸人物，因為女性不易懂得，所以奧祕就存在心理的執著當中，若能瞭解每個女性的心靈律則，則天下不亂，反而太平昇平，因為女性已無冤屈可訴求，光明的戲劇性決定了一個女主角的前景與希望。 5 至人無夢，現在我終於體會，眼神裡面有慈悲和體貼，對人事物心懷尊重，忐忑，珍惜，人生緣遇本是一場充滿冒險的流浪，能悟出生命真理之行旅，才是豁達面對自己的寫照，不假他求，一扇門開啟了又迎接你，邁向更順暢輝耀的人生路途。 小夫婦／吳菀菱 1 我和夢中婚姻的老公，合組一個理想同居的生活，沒有背叛，但有蒼老作伴。一頭白髮婆娑，滿臉都是層層包裹的善意，但是時間過得太久，一下子就變成小嬰兒一樣的肉身了。我們荒老了又樨幼，互相扶持，不會再心痛的偽裝不愛彼此，因為這樣才是肉身不會腐朽的方式。 2 我們都不懂夫妻之間為何要爭吵，要求，計較，但是我們都做了這樣的心想，也曾埋怨對方，不瞭解自己最愛的習慣。我們活在沙發上，被榻上，卻離浴遠好遠，一起聞著對方的腐朽味。 3 曾經我們是那麼年輕，現在竟然要比較誰才不老，不怪，互相糾結在彼此相愛得更加深刻的臂彎裏。在深沉的睡眠呼吸裏，尋覓對方有可能醒不來的危機。 4 我依然愛他，只是不讓他碰我，因為這樣子才是符合老年人的王道，成熟穩重的模樣，無有色情慾望，只有衰敗的時間。據我偵查，老公把我最愛煮的火鍋吃到飽，拿到街角開餐廳，這樣他可以時常去吃，不用花費鉅大食材菜錢，還可以賺溫馨的錢。 5 我常跟他說格言，但他聽過之後就不理會，說我是婦人中心主義思想遺毒。我才不管，我要想什麼就想什麼，他聽得到我的潛意識最好，我又不是不會吵架，只是隱忍罷了。 6 老人聚會得老成的積習，這真是個歡樂的世界，偶而鬥嘴，偶爾講道理，只要覺得花草也可以進食，我雖時都可以遠行，但是遠傳那太多錢了，開心受上當一次的乖。 7 今天你還我一件最輕薄的紫外套，因為我昨天打給你，你不在家，我知道妳管理我的衣服，像一個貼心老公的嫉妒心，你喜歡這件套娃裝，所以我也心領神會的給你留言，因為愛還存在，我提起信念，來為你寫作，為你爬格子。 8 我們在王國教會那裡，一起守護曾曾孫的出生，我們要活這麼老耶，我心愛的老公，我覺得你真的有疼愛我喔! 9 也曾什麼好處都索討不到，也曾不知你在忙些什麼，只知道你擺脫我的纏繞功，破如來之糾纏，已經心神忙亂，不知如何逃避。 10 亂講一通的世界裏，誰才是正常的，這問題果真很難評準，但我只要自己的心境沉澱下來就好了，不要太過於亂想，我想要知道跟老公一起靜坐的深沉禪味，是怎樣的關係，所以就開始坐禪念經。 11 一起躺在床上聽雨，雨滴像開花時的顫音，一聲聲打在屋簷上，好似水幻交響曲，擊落一串一串針陣的點陣圖一般，讓人聽得無量快意。 12 我給老公一些細瑣的吻，他說讓我來擁抱你，好愛好愛他，我們著衣互相依偎，但是話題又來到了沒有錢的悲哀，我覺得很難過，心裡頭也希望有很多錢來彌補我們的窮酸，我吃了他買的鹹魚翻身，於是心裡一陣酸楚。 13 他不許我去華嚴宗旁聽，求一本正經回來，評論他的雲遊詩集，所以我知道他關愛我，不讓我去拿什麼獎金和免費吃齋的修行利益，因為他不讓我出家，要我修好一張美妻的臉孔和心地。 14 我的煉語術太紛雜了，使我覺得對不起他，只要我一心對他忠誠，他也會跟著一起純潔的說話，毫無隱瞞和隱藏，我想像這就是一種夫妻之間的善良禱告，彼此都聽得見的坦承。 15 睡眠之間，我夢見了一個外國人，錯把他當成老公來愛，其實他根本就是闖進我夢境的小王，老公不知情，所以並不知道我們的對話，我很後悔，受到引誘而寫下方向街道的符號學小說，原來他就是一個職業小說家，是來探測我的寫作方向的。 16 我沒告訴老公，這件事，因為這是不忠貞的行為，我恥於啟齒，於是把夢忘記了，丟掉了，我跟老公說要努力學英文，他說一定要讀報給他聽，於是我讀了洛杉磯報給他聽，他很高興。 17 老公打了我一巴掌，我問他為什麼，他說我夢到外國人，他不曉得那是他的變形，本來是夢到白衣老公的，後來他卻跟我說起英文了，還要我寫一篇名叫方位街道(direct street)的符號學小說，老公說原來他變成光頭的老外了，所以就不生氣了。 18 老公很高興，我整個下午都在夢空氣，他給我熨燙背部全身，弄得我好熱，他說為什麼姚秦國王的老婆長得不像我，我說自己化豔粧，於是他就滿意了，還給我貼身護衛一般的濃烈愛意。 19 我老公很相信我，我也很誠實，因為兩不相騙使我們感情更加濃厚，深密的融合在一起，我們的夢是互相連綿的，他可以知道我在做什麼夢，而且他也可以一直睡我，像在睡一個長得像充氣玩偶的我，為了補回所有我們遺失的愛情劇碼，他一直睡我。 20 我的老公很相信我說的佛法輪迴，他真的為了我去創價學會開會了，我不知道為什麼他這麼愛我，好高興，因為跟第六天魔交易救父親的事，他已經知道了，就去參佛事，這個二乘所信仰的創造宗教，我也知道我們身為作家必須活得幸福，所以就加入了。 21 我在雲裡呼吸空氣，找不到老公來入夢，但是我寧願這樣補覺，因為我知道老公正清醒在振筆疾書，我給我們對對相配，在每個擅場的偶像身上牽紅線，但是他嫌我是一張美麗的皮，而沒有頭腦，有何辦法呢？但是我寧可還要三隻小豬的輪迴。 22 上次去看老公，帶了千里迢迢的禮物，他不讓我進門喝一口水，我這麼辛苦的遠遠跑來看他，竟然這麼無情，深怕我們乾柴烈火，在房裡做出不可見人的事來，我生氣，就拿回送他的胡椒餅乾，在回程的公車上吃得意猶未盡，一口接一口，他說，天啊！我還沒吃過什麼胡椒餅乾呢！活該，這就是不讓我進去喝杯茶的下場，我接著說要他用元本山做飯糰給孩子吃，他答應了。 23 我的心肝，我的老公，我怎會把你忘記，去找新的戀人呢？這輩子跟你在陰間活得這麼精彩，怎會忘懷，而將一切都丟包呢？在情人的耳語中，聽見自己的重要地位，於是很歡喜的，為他而安慰。 24 於是，我以為宗教是救人的，其實是斂財的，一直以來，我的迷夢在徬徨中認為因果是絕對，但現在卻不太願意接受果報，直到反省過後，才認真面對虛的果位，我想要知道報應是否不爽。 25 我老公找我找得好苦，在夜晚的公園裡，再三的來回找尋，我的蹤跡，他認為我一定會在涼亭下面等他，所以苦苦的覓尋我的影蹤，那一個化成少女的我正在翻他寫的書，我飄然跟他回家，他為我洗澡，為我催眠，隔了一夜，我又在床上消失了。因為他愛上了我美好的靈魂，而不是催枯老朽的肉身，所以他不願來我家接我回去，卻去公園找我的魂魄，真是奇詩人的怪癖。 26 今晨，得到他的雪燒仙貝供養品，歡喜的去祭拜佛，聽到彷彿心爽脆利的聲音，他希望跟我一起去旅遊，我也這麼期待，但等念完經之後，我拿起來吃，真是令我太喜歡的滋味了，我心歡喜。 原來昨天包的韭菜魚羹壽司，他們孩子嫌難吃，所以雪燒是鹹的味道，我會心一笑，不予理會的決定不再吃這仙貝了。 27 我竟夜安然，無夢，只有幾隻小動物，在身旁現出影蹤，躺在床上休息，這也是個不錯的陪伴，只要祈禱，就一定安睡。我不愛孩子，卻跟其他小寵物一起彌補睡眠，這真是不好的示範啊！ 28 我繼續假寐，他竟然動手動腳的揮舞，好險是在夢境中，他後來又來熱身安慰我，安撫我，我們因為這樣子，像水深火熱的一對情侶，而不是成熟的夫妻關係，我想就這樣忍讓吧！容耐吧！反正只是假的夢境，不是真的打架。 29 我很喜歡他意味著，你知道我已經很投入的意思，我們為了生殖器吵架，他說我都不潔淨身體，讓他歡愛，我已經不要性愛了，他也明知故犯，對我訓話，說夫妻雙方要好好地相處。 30 我看了張老師月刊，才知道許多夫妻都有性關係的困擾，我對老公的與取欲求，是一向全數接受的，但是有了護身符之後，我才從淫色裏脫身而出，沒有感覺的過著擁抱空氣的日子。 31 老公要我煮飯，要我賺錢，可是我都想不出更好的辦法，我只有用更大的願望來逃避現實生活的危機，我還想要買一件新房來做生意，真是太妄想了，其實我只想全心全意的為他念經。 32 我忘記低潮，擺脫毀滅，換成有關世界會比較好的光明想法，其實哪有這麼好的事，黑暗它一直在移植蔓延，如何用精明的腦，來改變這個衝突滿佈的地球，我不敢再看下去了，因為可怕。 33 我們都在互相說謊，互相欺負，互相剝削，然而清醒的頭腦讓我們心平氣和，無有恐怖和恨懟，因為生命永遠值得祈禱。 34 因為你的不信愛情，使我認為愁恨，或許是世上最多的，糾結的秋紅。(完) 雲淡風輕/吳菀菱(2017/4/14) 1 一切善事都隨風而去，但是卻使劫難一一化去，能夠與你相戀，是一件極為滿足的幸福夢幻，我稍給你不用回音的信函，表示我在記憶中愛著你，不必回報，雲淡風輕。 2 愛你的小耳語，那些小說裡不會找得到的溫馨，我們療慰彼此的孤獨，像一對健康的靈性夫妻，有什麼話就坦白說，雲的自由，我們都有這種風格和習慣，我們是一體的。 3 你塞給我一張住址，這是你窩居在蝕岩區的房子，我回家後找到了這張紙條，並未攤開來看，我答應你，會寄信給你，打電話給你，但是這個夢裡面，我們已分隔兩地，妄想在你那裏開咖啡店，辦詩刊，根本活不下去，所以我寧可睡過去，將手心裏緊密握住的紙條，握住你那考驗我的問號。 4 神通，是一場戲，他帶引我走過，排演過，我卻失去了演下去的慾望，我不愛他了嗎？他抱住我的肩膀說，我好愛你，還掉下眼淚，可是，我卻覺得沒有辦法搭車前往那個禁區，繼續愛他。 5 家人全都反對，不讓我們在一起，過了今年會怎樣，誰也不知道，放開手，讓愛自由，因為這樣的感覺，畢竟是無可奈何的，現實世界中的任何緣故，都支配著我們的共同命運。 6 我在書房裡，翻譯著他的詩，已經無意義了，因為他人已不在身邊，那些跑得很開闊的散漫字眼，根本不是他的風格，我翻找不著自己的影蹤，忽著就感傷了起來。 7 是該結束了，這個搞花邊的詩人，把我在夢裡擺佈，任意謊言欺騙，我醒了之後，發現跟他在一起，根本不是幸福天堂，於是我打算去把誓言拿回，跟他訣別。 8 在溜冰場，跳著單人舞，雀躍不已的感覺像小說一樣的節拍，奮力的跳起美姿，這首曲子是在唱看電影情節而哭泣的心情，我卻怕他聽懂，我的心殤。 9 你在一旁看著，距離好遠，我曾聽過你說過上萬次的愛我，現在我覺得這是上蒼在安慰我，假裝你很愛我，其實我也知道，這世界只有美人才會被愛。 10 沒關係，我還過得去，承認自己的生活裏頭，有愛是極樂，有歡樂幸福相隨，我是最美滿的女人，今後也要獨立自主喔！ 11 若我長成你愛的最初面孔，我還能慰留你的心嗎？或許你會害怕我變成了三姑六婆，但是我不會的，因為我很清白。 12 我希望能在碧湖劉三娘的表演會場，再見到你，你跟我約在涼亭見，我們相聚在一起，共談心事好嗎？我一心相許，你竟遲遲退卻，我們還有機會再敘敘舊嗎？ 13 心間常思念的你，是否陰奉陽違，我常思及，你一顆小王子，恆久不變的星辰。 14 我寫好玩的，這份心愛的感覺，只為了自戀，請你不要記得我，我會向著陽光，輕輕把你忘記，不再憶想。 15 既然你已經有了心愛的人，我就放開你，我會去參佛，參法華經的經典，我就是一個迷信的佛教魂。 16 生活是俳句，人生也是如此，一句短言就論斷了絕對的定義，既然你內在世界裏沒有我，我也會繼續單獨活下去，以求安心。 17 除了愛情，還有更多可以追求的，像興趣，抄經，繪畫，書寫，等等，我可以竟夜無夢，像一個洗過惡夢的人，賺得每一天。 18 幸福有多可貴，當你失去，才知它的曾經存在，別上當，讓我們一起向大道走去，追求幸福不軟弱，珍惜你眼前所擁有。 19 當我什麼都沒有，只剩下謊言，我該面對現實的自己，去懺悔，去反省，當我只剩下你的謊言，我希望這是最後一次。 20 你拿了錢，就對付我，要我輸得很難看，那是真的很殘忍，但我相信老天會保護我，因為我是善良的，不存惡念的。(完) 鳳凰彷徨／吳菀菱 1 我曉得你不是那種人，可是你的靈魂不願被我鎖住，就逃跑去找別人講了，我想起你的這種狀況，不禁懷疑男人也有異屬性。 2 三天了，我沉浸在幸福中，沒有你的想像影子，我還要繼續走下去，新生的靈魂會帶領我，走向全新的生命狀態。 3 我數落著一磚一瓦，一草一木，好像你曾經走過這些景觀，這些場地，我是你手挽住的那一半嗎？是另一半的靈魂吧！ 4 你沉默不語的看著遠方，向我的揮手示意，瞪了幾眼，好可怕，我只是一個暗戀你的女人，不能也不會把你怎麼樣。 5 馬路上都是金磚，這只是比喻人們愛逛街的想像，誰不知道任何地段都有權屬，人也是，都是人們建造起來的神話構築。 6 我的看法是不對的，勢必是要被刪除的想法，因為重生，我把過去遺落在空中，任人們看不見，卻呼吸得到，那就是愛情。 7 念及自我深處的反思，我向上蒼重頭開始祈福，什麼願望才是自己最高至上的幸福所及，我當向此發願，然後緣必定到來。 8 發現真相時，那迷蒙的眼，像是一對比目魚的瞳孔，幾乎要鬥雞眼了，真嚇人，我相信這就是所謂的，認真態度。 9 我必須面對前途了，把你甩掉，不去想不去管，只為了自己的未來而努力，我必須把你放棄在看不到的盡頭，這樣我才會死心塌地的把你忘記。 10 悲劇還未了，喜劇就開始上場，我將心影上的你，烙印在窗花上面，彷彿是一朵鳳凰花，嫣然燦爛然後墜落在地。(完) 柔情似水／吳菀菱 1 我要你去安個平安燈，光明燈，你答應了，為了讓你前景更好，我為你祈求順遂的人生，跟我到老都引起社會轟動。 2 我的聖堂身體，又答應今夜與你溫存，紀念這無法深愛對方的故意，我們寧願要在肉身不直接互擁的時空，持續的愛愛，這是我們陰冥歡愛以防止老天妒忌的方法，我愛你一如往昔。 3 在客廳看書，沉思書中的學術文字，這部深奧的權威書，使人深深的被吸引，論述也是一種哲學的研究方式，是純潔的夢。 4 我想要保持一張美麗的臉，姣好身材，以向你索討一個吻，一個擁抱，和一個手牽手的浪漫情懷，你會讓我圓夢嗎？ 5 我們的衝突，矛盾，無奈，怎能一夕之間就釋解，我們這一對行走在天涯的小夫婦，怎麼樣也分不開，拆不散，因為我們是一體的，編織了一整個人生的相許故事，我們都互相獻身，無悔。 6 或許我們本末倒置，但是我們活在小神話裡，抱住幸福的尾巴，期望透過各種方式，守住我們的家庭，孩子不懂我們的愛戀，認為我們不道德，可是我們年輕的心，還要很多情慾來滿足。 7 當個小父母，多麼窘迫，難堪，我們真的沒有孩子聰明伶俐，他們心裡想著自己的喜好，卻不孝順我們的心思，我好怨歎。 8 老氣，不必擔心人家的眼光，因為許多人們一樣的悲哀，塗炭的臉，沒有朝氣，我只要心裡自由自在，理解你的善變。

My reseme

my english reseme／pollywoo my name is polly woo, i majored in english in province university and Fuji university, i start my thesis writing during freashman and it is about advertising image of female right column in newspaper, and also the fairy tale of alice in wonderland and in mirror analyze theory about sexuality, it is a personal colum in taiwan li post when i was twenty years old, then i concerned about aids issue very sincerely, so i start to collect informations of english data to make a long reaserch report on sex in my novel of colourful painting(秤彩繪), i love to listen to english songs and study western theory about psychology of male to understand what they think about in mind, and to study many feminism project to fullfill the society need of female right, i write 13 more english books of 3c novels, to prove that in technology world there is still exist the Buddha theory and belief. my recent work is working on after written 100 chinese theory,novels and poetry books that are based on buddhaism of nichiren shoshu, i believe my grammer and writing experience can help and tuter cramp students to reach out futher accomplishment of success in their future life and diploma, i would like to teach every knowledge to them to make them more smart and intallengent. 2011年 一直在繪製後現代書法和書畫的作品，累積二十年作品最後拍賣給更生畫廊。 2012年 成立「文化評議」雜誌創刊號。 2013年 完成「吳菀菱佛法小說全集」電子光碟套書十二片，「polar」英文小說碟片大補帖，「dear rose」完成後涉及假自殺事件，「馬太太福音」「app」(魔術方塊)小說相繼完成，開啟「善的日誌」部落格。 2014年 完成「流蘇生活」佛詩集，印製「靈感」散步詩集，以向明老師的作品為封面，寫出宋澤萊老師所言輕音樂詩的前奏。 2015年 完成「當發大願」完成，續印「佛性自由」善書，「我愛唱歌」(嫁妝)「太極滿灑」小說集，並歡喜贈閱大眾。 2016年 完成「覺照叢林的美學欣賞」「金色流雲」和「日正當中」等詩論集，寫完「電腦搭檔」科幻小說，去黑龍江省旅遊，寫完「美的詩簡」旅遊詩集。 2017年 完成「法華經典」詩論(慈悲佛)，「社務諮議」痞客邦小說網，「poetry trilology」「warm laugh」「why jet」三部小說，並在「從容文學」四月號發表「懷思漫漫」一文，出版完四十多本電子書和「文化評議」雜誌之後，今年預計要寫作「真愛的最後一片淨土」情詩集和黑龍江旅記「綠得極致」以及「小夫婦」小說。

Poet mind

Poet mind(to continue) I search the net to find beauty shop service,and it is very near my home,i do planting eyelashes,fake hairdo,beauty face procedures,cosmetic make-up and fingertip colouring,it takes 800more nt dollars,i go back home and show off in itergram to be a model writer,post my photos to this app,but the poet lover complain me that i am over materialism belif,i think maybe i should give him romance letters with perfume on them,what will i write,i figure it out,i should record my diary about us to make him happy. That is what i will do in this novel,i start to open my paper to write,when i am going to sleep last night,i find out my tongue is hurt a little,it must be you who give me turning kiss,which makes me spinning in the wound of tongue,i smile and sinking into sleep,my dear,i make up a story about renting a huge house of three floors,it is buddha giving to me,for i work so hard to do my writing job,i also rent a decorated place to exhibit my new poetry collections about love topic,i write it for you,my love,to let you know that my heart has always connected to you,no matter how i missed you,all i need is to pray to you,and then your soul comes to me suddenly,my dear poet lover,how i wish to givr you a present of expressing my works,to sign my name at that activity and introduce my story to the attending audiences,this dream i hide for so long,i just cant stop thinking about that we are now apart.i am very sad,do you know,my heart break stopped untill i write calligraphy letters to you,my dear,i hope you like it very hrarty.(1) (2)my heart feel for you,my poet,you also write me secret poems to show your love for me,i love them very much,and i try to memorize them in my mind,but i can only think about a few words that i dont understand,i want to realize you,your simple fellow truth,your favour,your favorite deeds,i like to be with your classic interests,that makes me feel so romantic,do you know?my love,when i analyze you in between sentences,i know you are the one who knows me best,you are my angle of my soul,i must return you my thanks to you right away,for i will forget if i dont quickly do it,i might lose your attention,i guess. (3)i wear each and every one dress,to let the hired photographer take my pictures,just to represent myself on the road of literature image,i take it seriously that a writer should not tell lie,not to cheat,or steal other's idea to make self famous,i will despise those who said that they have husbands but unmarried,have sick sisters but cant tell the name,it is a shameful talking to hide sex tendrncy in front of readers,my poet lover did the same,he cant tell his wife's secret,but announcr that he has experience of marriage.another shameful law is more mean,it limit literary writers to have any sex or marriage,it is a lie that he sadly believe in that law,but as time goes by,he write and read to play time,but not kill time,not like those who have a TV set and lost time sinking in video games which is cost high.he told me that he has no money,but he travels a lot,and eat gorgeous every day,i dont trust him,because i have a dream to show off my luxurious interest on acceserys,but he does not,he always dress ordinary and lesury outfit,which stand for his belief in eastern spirits. (4)we have a mata son now being sent to new york home,to hide the danger that if students find out his mother birth him at a postmodern dream,he will get boly atturtude from classmate,so father he sent him to live in buffulo village,whish him become a wonderful youth,but he seems think twice about his future,now i am dreaming about living in the future to br with my family happily,but he brcome a mean father to test if he can get any way to survive without his teaching.i can only be his next mother,because he wont let me know his whole life,his first marriage is ended by argue everyday,his wife turn face like turn book,make him very anxiety, he sent the only son to new york,and i am dreaming someday he will live with me long affection,and give me a peaveful life,his son like mars letters,talented at computer science,he get a blog for his father,and he read society psychological books,he want to go to europrran to study MBA,i wonder if he has very excellent language talent,so i worry about him while his father says that he is not my son,i dont need to treat him well,i am angry about this,i tell him today we three are sepretated,it is so lonely, but i believe he put my dream birth son away,throw the new born baby to the garbage can,i am unhappy but it has gone,i must face the truth,never imaging that his son is my mata son,i wipe away my tears and go on my work,i brlieve any people see my story will know a man dont want a baby from a frmale who has many failure love storys. (5)Silence lover He hides me from my messages Only quest remain in the air He disappear from facebook To escape my trace after him He is a strange mined male With mature means of oppose He find a way to live secretly Wont let fans know about his life He is like a mystery that attract me But now it is in vain only dreaming can reach His maybe attorance toward my wish I hope he listen to me as a good friend But he love quietness much more So i cant disturbing his living Only watch time goes by With my searching plate wasting money Let it be i think and i say to myself One day he will face me my brand new face of beauty (6)peaceful role Today i am a quiet worker Try to email and know friends Every mrssenger is kind and nice When my request occurs The response get me satisfied So many friendship and friendhood I like to have creative discovery Such as people give a report On those literature knowledge That i have never know before This is a teaching lesson for me To find out detail art of good minded I love to be peaceful with this world Where love is all around and working My life is a Festival of pleasure The texture of having enjoy and fun I will be a role of believing faith To get more adventage of survive In the circle of globle village boom (7)Rhyme Give me an easy reason To prepare all my fortune Let it be my tolerate sun Shining like a good none For the noon is coming from The truth of reading fun I remember to sing a song To make the cell phone And i can ring down Magic words of bublegum To wisper sweetness on Trusting His promise fund My mind is like a moon Somehow it rise in pain Of course a night is soon To become next afternoon Day goes by with function Time will be the only tone In the holy of temptation When godness mention (9)The back He does opposite On my seat To sweat Like a rent It is note From boot In the net I walk on wet For more tent In front I want I foot That is not The ant Walk and meet But neat Of meat Is sent Wait Next pot The right Will write To get Final dont (10)Rap sutra My friend read quickly with me The swift sutra long run till the end My father lose a bunch of joss It is a sign of getting much more gold In my mother's spell it is a good luck I watch a before lotus religion begin The ceromony is very dizzy for me All my wish is to get protection From my holy buddha and lotus course For the meaning of respecting sunshine I truely get off all my bad deeds and tendency In the future there will be a smart poem Lead me and guide me toward the unknown To make me not go in the shadow of cherity Buddha is fullfilled by my recommend writing Here is the wind of my shade of thinking But my hair oh my hair will be falling down Because of the monk holding on my doom My lover is a poet with his book next to my pillow Why is he absent in my long runing dream I wait for my parents with patience The answer is closed door in the action by hand (11)Dry switch I like dry kiss more than waterful kiss The cause is no need to swallow Mouth water of my due lover I better like wet tea and cake But who knows when he kiss me With his wonderful tongue skill I simple turning my heart like washing machine Wheelchair, and a mind reading reminder, I want to concentrate and fix on him Afterall i sleep with a coughing sound Murmuring sweet things to his ear The dream is although unseen My memory of his invitation is still As a mother calling that shocks me With a tender but ordering word Please come back to my mind I care about to seeing your true heart If it is still longing for me my dear Between mother and lover Who should i choose to hear The asking quest that both make me Wanting to return to the origionality of youth (12)After Complain As i say long words to him He slowly listening to me I know i complain too much While he hear me buy a white dress To attend a gathering sutra reading I anounce that i dress for white law But my heart think all about him He love white dress most This is my first try to buy white I keep a conscious fate To write a new art novel for him Hope this is not the ending Of our relationship and commitment Because my love fly like a new bird That just begin to learn to start his wings (13)Key words I read from the blackboard A teacher write down key word thinking A pattern of realizing the pc world It is a brain war in the civilization As i read between the lines I understand why everything matters Even ghost,game,genius or girl They are all equal before technology Where there is a meeting within our mind There will be a wish starting to happen That is why nobody refuse pc field In this time of thoughts and philosophy I will hold my way and give a strike To win back all my failure and sadness Because this world is full of lonliness Only my faith of love stand for me (14)Wake up I wake up this dawn With black kiss surround my mouth Dont know why herb remains Those powder i eat for skin care I wonder if he give me lip stick of darkness Should i treat it like a gift or something Like punishment cause i scream To him all my heartbreak last night Should i thank god that morning I get a lot presents of job chance Such as one publishing co. Info book And a series of booking magazine And a contract of writing drama I am so in love of dark and white These chances i wont forget That everyday is a big happiness It is time for me to be gone (15)my life is making stories and plots,to make novel and poem full of daydreaming kind of joy,dramatic is all i need in writing.that is why i dream a lot to have idea of shadow to write,my thought is just so aweful and complicated,that i cant stop falling into the big hole of psychology,i used to read a lot about male mind of three id and mirror theory,i like to discover what is the authority of role that play important in novel center,which makes female miserable, i pick the poetry critics to show my academic idea,in the way of reality and research method,i get a good result in publishing,and it should be thankful for all people who help me through the way of acomplish a book. (16)Wonderful hug He lick my neck sweetly,and hold me from my back,he gives me smooth touch with his banana erect in my bottom,it feels like heaven.he said that i worry that your dream goes without light,i tell him its better calm and dark for my dream,cause nothing happening to be frightened in the future,he stay no light with me,and he make my buying estate dream come true,i thank him a lot,for he let me have a reality to live my life,i can do anything with our dreams webing on the loving affair we have,i am happy if he is happy too,i ask for no more,just have sweet dreams with him,that is all i want,my dear,do you hear me? (17)Flood kiss He kissed me all night,with mouth water full of my lips,he looks hugry for the kiss,i promise him that if he help me publish my book,i will let him kiss me every night,that is the vow i made for him,and he is satisfed too,how nice is that kiss he gives me,i like it very much,and he sink his face deep in my back,moving around the bone and meat,his tenderness makes me feel sensuality of pleasure,because i love him,i make him to become my king,this love is life long,and i would not want to change,but i wish him treat me tender forever,never say lies to me,and i will continue loving him by vow. (18)Beautiful ring I have a yellow stone on my ring,i get it from my love,my truthful husband in china,he watch me give birth to a baby and died,it is a hard birth,i cant make it in my dream,untill i saw him in the road selling stones,i realize this is my one lifetime in china with him.i have told him that i will be back by a transparent ghost around him,to guide him on the road of bearing our kid,he must sell stones to a sculpture talented person to make stone shine like jewelry, so that he can sell by higher price.that means a stone without chanllenge is useless,and worthless. (19)i wanna live in his clean house,to become stepmother of his son,i wish to be a kind educater to him,give him smart suggestions,and ask a huge bed of one hundred thousand to sleep each day with him,i wonder if he see me naked on it,what would he do,the answer is he will be too shy and go to wash clothes, i know he can make magic of his house,just like a mind spell of magician name,it is a long name,but if you read that word in mind,every magic can be shown.i read the name too,i make a wish that he be frank that his room will always open for me,to let me live forever with him,even though to live inside his soul,it is to understand what he think and does. (20)he gives me a japanese room to read sutra and study buddhaism and tea ceremony,i feel so glad but now it changed so fast,everything that ever decorate the room has been stocked in another empty room,it is all stuff that just to blind his mother's eye,because she wont let him get married,so he is very angry to stock all memories in the dust room,only white furniture remains.i read lotus sutra which is no easy matter to maintain the belief,i often get lazy mind not to worship the calligraphic buddha,because i always think i can control every wish i want to do,and by myself i can do it well,without any help if the buddha gives me obstacles or difficulties, i can still make it. (21)His son called me ant,it suprise me,he live in the opposite wall of my table like a phantom,to learn how to paint calligraphic works,the poet lover is also as a ghost that come near me with a smell of dead body,i am so frightened that i should not brlieve the news report,it says my poet lover pull my dream born new baby and through away to the vege cycle can,i remember he said in my dream that he dont know how to deal with the new born baby,while i fainted with sleep,dont see if my baby is a girl or a boy,i am still searching the answer.if my baby become sience fiction baby,that has already exist for 16years,the poet sent him to hide away from the goverment pressure,i think it is very smart,but i am worried about if my son can survive long lonely life,i feel kind of undurable with my heart bleeding for my son,for the reason of unsure reason,he must call me ant but not mom,its alright,let's continue pretenting to show the whole world that even sifi has true affections in this society.i tell poet lover that i wont make him fell frightened about the pressure of government,because i am frightened so much too,we must stay secretly to make people find no clue to hurt our family. (22)we also lie in today afternoon dream,to hide the secret of truth,prof the reality of being nice and kind in our love to son.we both know people are mean to talk gossips about us,so we start to go beyond the plot prople trying to change our happinesd,we are devided in three place but with mind staying together,never let others bolly to torture us all,especially those society speakers talk nonesense on TV,i get angry that they dislike my life style and narrative,i hate them to make me poor and get into their prophets, i know people love to lie a lot fortune about their family to make it come true,but it is not exactly the truth,when you believe it,you run into a foolish well that nobody will hear you,so keep conscious and smart,because people dont have the morality of being honest,if you do,dont tell them your practice,for god will know you most to give you the best quality of happiness. (23)my poet lover tells me that he pay my cell phone bill already,i believe it cause today's phone call rings,and i catch it,this is a bank calling for the quest of loaning a village,i tell him about my financial situation,and he will return me a gmail or phone call,it is my way to fine my income get into my pocket,i dont want poet's money,if he test my love whever i love him or his money,i will promise i would rather earning money by my own,not to depend on him or his huge income of rant several apartments,i decide to be honest to my self,not to live in the shadow of nightmares,i believe in the sunny side of the truth,and i want to practice my ideology of wealthy wish,to make sure my life is successful but not failure. (24)my poet lover gives me a dialogue of the pouring rain,while i tell him it is waterful joy that makes us glad,but should not feel the sadness of rainy day.yesterday i sleep when it rained,i dream about he visit my village,and he walk with me and son in the dream,we look like a healthy family,and i promise to look after his son if he cares about me,i would like to give duty and take adventage at the same time,i know he will make sure if i love his everything including his family. (25)he gives me sm sex while i am being bothered by neighborhood, and just about to sleep in the morning,he tied my two hands,and i try to escape so i fall down the big bed with him together,he makes me remember his name finally and we have fierce sex during this morning dream,because i am sleepless and writing his poem critics,he is unhappy that i am not be with his dream,i tell him i cant fall esleep and i also drink a little coffee,after all i am in the dangerous sex with his anger this morning,it is hard to describe,for i never move and struggle anymore,he sense boring,so he swear never tie me any fever in the furture,i feel so glad and happy,for danger game is come to an end,i get his trust once again,i also get his gift of a can of tea next morning,i sent him my favorit tea ceremony furniture, i know he loves it very much about tea Festival activity,and i wish this year moon festival we can drink the same tea to cerebrate our due love,my heart is all with joyful thoughts, and i believe to give our son a job to design the new york house is a good for him,i also know our son is connected with him by line,i like to know more about this,he share with me all details,and i believe that our son will have a good time in the house of quietness and it is also comfortable for him to study and experience the daily life of no worry and trouble,i know my poet lover is loving our situation with all hearty hope,he wish us live separate to get to know each other more,i understand that he believe in god so well,so i want to fellow him as well,but he want me to trust my buddha,in the name of thanks. (26)i write invisible love prose for him,i try to exist in the texture that no one see that i am going mad with the hidden truth,it is about how my fame influence the poet lover and his son,they are in my mind so much like to fake as my family,but dont know the temptation indeed,i face it every day and night,but the secret is unknown for the readers besides they two important acters,i want to know their past,and who is his real mother,while i try to cook for them,they seem like never taste mother's kitchen cooking for a long time,it must be my fantasy to have magic power to cook for them in long distance places that are seperated,if i am a creater of food,i would not be selfish to let them hungry,but i dont know if they like tradotional or creative food,i can rather cook by my own imagination but always feel lazy to cook,every tome i think about the trash from cutting gradience,i feel the trouble of recycle.but i know life is not eady in the age of high price socoety,buying things become a stuff of luxury, i am not feeling like to do it,all i depend is eating hot pot boiled noodles, it really save gas and cooking fee.i dont waste money but love to save money,we are all out of the same temper,we try to get through harsh days,but by my observations, poet lover seem to be a mean daddy,he never care about how his son is doing in foreign country,and he never want to get advenve with me,i can see that,but since i stop looking after romance from now on,i vow that i would never love others till the ocean runs dry,as i get old,i wont change face for any other romance no more,i completely lose faith toward male,i think they are centralized believers,and poet is a thoughtful person,he wont let me be his partner in reality,for he has experience the life of bearing a kid before he meet me,he wont want second kid any more,and i dont want it either,so i believe being single is free for us three,the first duty is to escape the eye of political judgement,which i am controled by eating sleepy pills,and taking psychological talk with doctor. (27)i still believe poet is training his son to protect himself from pressure of politics,and he must do so to cover his poetry from being destroyed the poetic eternity from ever sonce he write poems,and he must stay famous and justice to keep our relationship normal like normal friendship,for he has no wish to have a notorious wife like me. (28)i tell him that my eye colour is brown,and the story is coming from my grandmother's ancester,one girl falling in love with holand martian,they went to the grass and woods making love,finally the girl get pregnant,so my ancester got the partial blood of holand people.by my guess,it would be tuth,for my grandmother looks like white people in the skin,i am the same too,i can always hide from the heat of the sun,and never be tamed on my skin.so i am a far history hybrid which the story i make up is possible and i am good at western thoughts and knowledge,i am a taiwanese with holand soul,i think,maybe i can use DNA to test if it is real,but i dont know if the test can give me a more posific answer that perhaps many of my ancesters have intercoursed with foreigners,i wanna know. (29)i just dream about to be connected with poet lover,but he wont give me wife name,i dream like crazy,after a long time,i go back to reality,nothing happened but memory remained,i am so independent that no body pay the bill for me,but only me needs to pay for real,i try not to spend too much money,and use bank bill to take over cash payment,it is a pleasure to visit bank so often,and i like the atomosphere of being serviced as a customer who face the bill each time through procedures of hand by hand,this is build on the trust between showing and appearing in the local counter. (30)all the lie he told has been washed away from my brain,it is my stupidity that i believe poet is a person who never tell lies,but it is not in the shadow side part of him to do so,in frank world,he always tell the truth to me,as my best friend,i decide to take this love by subtitude of friendship,no longer to wish a wedding or a ceromony of marriage,i live peacefully everyday with reading his poetry,i feel content and satisfied,i like the ordinary life as a freedom writer once again,and i promise i will never fall in love with anybody in the future,keep quiet is what my mind will do,dont want to cause any trouble again,the topic about my novel has come to an end,i must remain smart to deal my life with happiness,i wish he is the same too,let me be generous and honest,to hope a better self in front of reader's eye,let me express the best of my sentence to show that love can be overcome in the wonderfull mind like heaven,and all people can be torlerate to live over there with all true heart.(end) Poet mind (31)i wrote love diary to him,but not expressed in the press,cause we want to live romantic life in secret that never being found out by fans,even thought my book is not popular,it is to be cherish in this lifr time,i know he decode to practice his vow not ready,but i am not worry,cause now i am like a princess under his protection,i write memory book of love sentence to him just to hold his heart,i love my son,i know he test my mother love toward my son,i want to give,so that on the future i can live a wonderful partner life. (49)every time i think about how he feed milk to his kid,change diaper for him,i arouse a piece of graceful thank to him,my peot lover,he busy on every thing at home,he is a busy poet who use his hardship two hands doing home dutys,i thank him for bring love to son,and i think of his sunshine heart,i feel very like to live together as as a family,and i want to change my writing style,to write family warm plot living with him,i wish he can be my mate in writing,i would change for him,to be a very tender wife,we both are poet,and he want to write more in his career,never willing to help me or teach me rewrite my all works,i think if i want to be a nobel prize winner,my writing must pay hardship to resque my crisis on thriller gener,i want to keep the origional texture in the history,because the romance i wrote is recording male's bad side of charector,and it is a good education to male to change their badness,and also for female readers to prevent male pressure on them.if i write healthy mind in the novel,everyone knows it is wrote for the book market,which everyone can create it as normal logic,but i vow from now on i will discover people's goodness and helping kindness,i want poem not to be sour or blam others insperation,but shine the greatest value that people have in their essence. (50)after i wake up this morning,i realize what he says is a lie,he want to give me erotica dream,but i dream about other things,i should know that heart hurt is due to forget to eat pills,i eat and sleep,after one night in my nonesense dream,i found out he want me to change literature works,is to put pressure on my shoulders,i think why not just put it on,let them show by the origional face to the readers,it is better way to express that all men are selfish,and they are hard to please,too.l know poet is also the kind of male,just he speaks before three times of think,so i try to dig his history of his aweful life with his extra wife,it is very under hell,she turns face like turns the pages,so they usually fight for small qurrals,and never get peaceful life for there is no money,he like to decorate the house with red stuff,but after since mother past away,he start to stay white and clean,can you read his mind from this situation,i think his mother maybe not let him marry,and so he is married with only coexistence of living together,it is a myth that i found no trace about their marriage but only a kid,the other kid she born for the air is losing direction right now,because she is a bad girl and she never goes to school,or has any thing to do,live no where,for she is nothing but a actress on the show of new book exhibition. (51)i tell him,if the ghost kid is disposed,let us feed her to be our kid,and he sign with a long breath,why you do so to making trouble,she wont treat you right after she grow up,she has a selfish mind and never trust in love,i know,but what if people ask about his daughter,how can he say,i am worry about her running in the phantom air,that no body treat her like a real,thats why i want to adopt her,but do you think she will called me dear mother,save that,she doesnt even respect her father,how can she respect me,i know this is a problematic situation,that i am over minded,for he wont worry the ghost daughter a bit,why me worry?just it is sad to see her growing in the air without a birth day,it is so embarrassed to see him being scared by the suddenly showing up daughter,to make him fallen into her tricks of let him wound,hurt,worry,and bother,i want to make a spell before the buddha that she gone with the dust,never bother us this life,for we both not love her as a pearl on the paw. (52)she never flatter me or his father,we both cant get the warmth from her,and she is stubborn that she live in her own way,be living with her mother's new husband,that is the only way we thought to make up the tragedy.because she looks not like anyone's kid,so we all dont know where she is coming from and where she will go to,we put the problem aside,never care,and poet live with my soul every night,he fainted in my body perfume and strange shape,i give him surrealism appeal and nervous touching, and he feel the softness in my soul with gental mind without no vicious ideal and attamp.the full moon makes us happy,and it shines every lover heart,to be the mark of celebration.we sleep all night long,with soul flying in the wind,we both cherrish each other's love,because the several dates we have,we come together as soul mates,and we are parents over night,but how kid come out of the womb safely,we barely have no idea.the secret is that his mother catch up with the son when he is disposed on the street years before,no body knows that she is a big buddhasattva in lotus sutra,in my consciousness, i know that she very earnest to be a grandmom,but the blood is unknown,for we all afriad of sent him to test DNA,we keep ourselves in the mist of family affections,just to enjoy more peaceful life without any changeable result. Poet mind (53)i know poet will finally in the end of the story going to live with his son in new york,never tell me the address and not to carry with me to that house,although so,i still traet him well,i dream about living fairly and sweetly together,share mind and seldom making love,for he is quite old,i must keep pace with him,tonight he have nothing to eat,just some veges in the refrigerator, i cook for him,hope he wont feel hungry with living alone,dont care about daily life,i say thanks with him each time we kiss,we are soft mined person,never fight to each other,only some jealous affection arouse sometimes on my mind,he always goes attend activity he like,i have no smart departure to get there,so we cant have date together,he has a lot of fans in the avtivity,i envy him,love him,care about him,thinking about him,but finally he will abanden me going to american forever live there,i feel sad and heart break,but i must live alone with courage and faith,in this period of love,i smell the fly around my room,i dont want him bevome a fly chacing after my soul,for the ending will cost me lots of tears,i will dry them with peace and curing mind,i know guy like him will test lady like me what i want,after all i am a poor loser woth my face no longer pretty,and i like to be better writer than him,i wont lose my dignity before him,i will be a single for all my life,only dreaming wish fool me that i must to check out clearly,a man like him is a excellent story teller,who cares,i can create more excited storus. (54)i dream a yellow rose feild i walk alone without throwns,i feel love is waving to me,just i dont want to wave goodbye,i hold him tight,no words we have said just to keep quiet conscious to cold down our fight mind,i rather think he is kind to me,but in the dream he always do games with me,i dont want excited love but romance word to word,but he dont keep his double charactor balance,so my nightmare talk the hint of our future,just like horoscopes, i know poet are crazy but he is traditional one,so i want to live with him all my rest of my life,hope he give me as a surprise,i would be very happy. (55)now he disappear in my dream,i cant dream about him,and long night i just travel in the old time of huge monsters flying in the sky,i lost in the forest and a small village,i ask a man how to leave this place,and get back to my home town,he says i need to fly on the huge bird's back and then get where i want to be,i think it is fairy tale,so i completely lost my dream,i stay in the bed without time and space moving on,it is quite strange that i wake up from the nightmare,i get to drink a cup of water,and then i go to the bathroom,i wash my face with less acnes on it,i go to the living room and write down this dream on the facebook,no wonder dreams without poet is so solitude,i really cant live without him,but right now he stop talking to me,just because he tell lies a lot,i dont hear him saying any more,for regret somehow i know,he never come to me any lonely night,and i know that he dont want to take me as i am,cause i am not a beauty under his love,he never loved me in the way i want,that is why i get old,i learn how to forget the dream,cause it is nonesense and representing that i dont love him the same way.but he hold me by my calling,it is a excited bus sexuality dream,this morning he is still sleep,but my murmuring get him awake,so he sink in the dream with me,what a coincidence that he and me loving so much by touching each other's body warm,we keep the dream so long,and never want to let go each other.

身心歡愉情詩集

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