2018年11月13日 星期二
書寫狂熱(詩集)
書寫狂熱/吳菀菱
(我寫的是哲學小說)1
一個揭曉的諭令
終結在說哲意
心情的舒緩或緊急
寫小說是療癒經
可以又長又短的收納
故事引人遐思
這樣的謎
正是輕哲學
(我想要一個名望)2
名氣可以四通八達
只要有創意
代表意見的聲響
可以傳送玲瓏
所以我要名望來完整
為什麼需求
舉世的暢銷快感
(到處散播)3
我寫詩是到處飄
不求助成集
因為我自由如神通
隨手捻來便是詩
沈默是我假音
其實我詩寫不盡
像伝單一般地散播
(只有你了解我)4
我的一切只有你曉得
那文學的隱藏曠味
行跡中黑色幽默
誏你捧腹大笑
唯有你是我知音
如此懂我的暗示玄機
並且用回信愛我
(智齒憂鬱症)5
失去了智齒之後
我嗚咽地向你求救
為了你的聰慧
我誏它空谷兩個月
然後再為了你
去牙醫那邊填滿
我的智慧不如你高
於是我示弱
向你問色請愛
(了解彼此的虛為)6
我們無作三身的相愛
因為假戲真做
我欣慰你仍念著我
假如有人記錄
我們的對話
那是床頭合的妥協
昨夜我偎依你
多久都不嫌煩累
(潔身的自愛)7
不染污水塵埃的蓮
我垂向你的荷葉
忍受是捶練
我甘願出泥而美妙
花綻放在池中的靜說
法無邊的佛性
因潔身自愛
(我也要學法蘭西文)8
閔南語會像法文
真特別奇玄
我用靈犀向他亂學
私底下竊聽
法國鐵塔的入定
在法蘭酥上
我上飲食課程
(我要寫自創食譜)9
主婦料理的漫畫
還沒暢銷時
我就不再寫了
我有時會分析食材
通常我偏好素食
葷腥不要來熬
為人出版過丼專輯
但我是國際派
(香蕉脆片)10
這種台製食品
竟被外銷
為了支援蕉農
香蕉變貴了
像我對你拜物教
我喜歡吃的零食零嘴
就是你父權的
油炸橫切棍
理論証述/11
我喜歡觀察提問,
我是半路蹦出來的理論家。
我寫論述很主觀,
沒寫完絕不換氣,
我一寫就是三天三夜。
我靠直覺批評詩書,
我信仰新批評之顯學,
不知不覺得罪了作者,
因為我不了解一部作品,
為何不可多方位來看呢?
小說藝術性要具足,
必須把技巧和編劇來練就,
並且不空洞,
有評論价值。
分析手法是抽絲剝繭,
應用理論,
心理學的學派的利用,
應是批判的基礎。
講的比寫的更快,
我要用錄音機說一段,
用直播報導,
任何一本書的讀後心得。
述說方法/12
他整晚在我嘴中講話,
吸光了我的口水液,
那就是深情默默,
我白天就深思其義,
寫出更棒的文章,
你的眼是話語的金光黨,
手掌撫摸我的側腰,
好性感阿,你稱讚我,
今天你專注聆聽我,
連天使也展翼而微笑,
我說得字字數据化,
你也曉以珠璣,
我好愛你的複數型耳語,
你就是修辭學,
擇辭而言之,
說真或假隨你便,
雙關義不難懂。
語言遊戲/13
我約你去天辺聊心事,
說到好笑的趣味性,
簡直忍悛不住而狂笑,
你和我一樣沒天沒地的忙,
忙著思索正與副面,
我們的局戲就是枕頭話,
你說要用原子筆來學繪畫,
我送你一大堆靈感,
不信別人的繪圖經驗,
只依賴自己推理。
喋喋不休/14
好像機關槍,
快速的寫出文本的愉悅,
這種內心的想像故事情節,
好像是謬斯的庇蔭,
誏我不肯罷手。
文明書店/15
這是我的虛擬書社,只發表我寫的書,
我的文明修養,在字句中展現,
流暢的行文,似乎標幟著永遠,
當季品只能上網看,沒有紙本,
看我倒數如流,如數家珍,
每一本都是我心血,嘔歌的行板,
二十多年來,從不輕易中斷,
寫作出版是我所熱愛,驕縱,傲視,
集結交織我的思想,想法的總合,
風格就是我的文化修養,行為批判,
言不及義是我所否定,不能溝通,
詩,畫,小說,散文,百放爭鳴,
我的修辭和文意,自由自在,
無有拘束,沒有拘泥的文言文,
我思我所想,我愛故我在,
閱讀我,你會得到所有的新智慧,
這間書店,我誏人流連忘返,
而且樂不思蜀,像一場景觀美好,
一幢堅固的文字城堡,文人傾慕,
只准有愛心的,記錄所聽聞,
不許抄襲,任何延伸的虛文章,
我將畢生獻給,文明書店的內涵,
只要你有求知慾,就明白我的思路,
不是一團毛線,而是一條絲巾,
文字創造生活圈,發展的妙趣,
意義屬性,和各類型的文化,
音樂,藝術,文學,哲學,廣告,
凡是你想閱覽的,都會提及,
只是,全是我主觀的觀點,
縱橫思覺旳劍拔弩張,華山論見,
這一次,我邀請書寫快感理論,
來訴說我內心閃動的,石火電花,
你來捧場,把手言歡好嗎?
關於寫作/16
我心眼充滿血絲
徹夜未眠的趕稿子
每次都被採用
無比光榮的快樂
流暢是靈感來源之處
我知道寫作是一種曝料
挖掘得更深奧機密
會有更多稿費
而敍述文法
十分合乎後現代之混濁
根本是哲學術科語言
為了一字千金
我集中思緒
只為了創造佳文優篇
在歷史的印象中
發現各種細節祕密
寫作文本密集而無間隙
代表了天經地義
如是我聞
就在半百之際
佛要我再重說一回合
關於保守的書寫
把禮儀倫理
敦厚的全盤托出
乳液筆/17
如果我有一支乳液筆
我願寫盡天高地厚
你美療我的身体芳香
這瓶供應氛氳的禮物
好像在我身上寫著你愛我多深
感動的夜裏我以香味迷惑你
而你送我一枚定情金戒
那形狀有如鋼筆金盾
我一揉就碎
但是書寫你是堅強的筆劃
那代表著我願意
喝聲的狂妄/18
那些空白稿紙啊
誏我奮不顧身的投效
攪盡腦汁的書寫
就我所知的供出文章底細
它喝飲我筆下的思考汁液
我毫無保留的批判
每一條思路不會打結
說出世界上最公允的灼見
刺眼的意見法術
原子筆一支接一支
腹水溢盡換來無數稿費
我認為一張張白紙
是最貪婪的文字吸血鬼
我焚了那些筆跡
嗆到一個不行的後悔
因為我從不惜字如金非守財奴
我把稿紙的狂妄拋開
前進筆觸寫的世界
而曠大的網路
還是像抽水機一樣
永無止盡的吸乾我的每一滴心血
白紙黑字/19
凡寫下的就必須永恆
才能黑白互映
成為正字標記
可以增補或攔姍
文飾或改正
編輯的任務是校對
作家則是流利
不許出錯太過強求
白色襯托出無邪的黑字
那力透紙背的勁道
永遠的收藏
意義的城府深沈
像沈香發出雋永的氛圍
一篇文章的行氣
由字跡構成
是乾脆不黏牙的素讀
狂草/20
你風飛空氣中疾疾的狂草
無法整理焦點的篇幅
毛筆揮著略為乾枯的手指
如草原丘陵慕道的雲影
吹斷模糊之間的禮數
不規矩的立陣迎向下一行
更為狂熱而大焰驚心的筆劃
大書法家有御言示眾
徐徐而行的風範只是副歌
主要透紙的感知
還要讀出抽象立言的單字
成為字句經典的原點
你一除草
那斷斷續續的尾巴
就匆忙的躲進
密密麻麻的怪異
教雪白的宣紙也不容許
你評估橫豎的風靡
允文允武/21
文字曼陀羅的章法必究
充滿神話的經唱
一遍又一遍的默禱
那靈感使人文武交織
百般功夫在一筆
集千古萬代之聖潔於一身
千呼萬喚始出功德來
化文氣為太極
聚精會神互輝映
投筆從戎的矯情寫生
武俠功夫了得
給您立個永遠玄關碑
紀念汪洋江湖的潮流洶湧
抬起頭/22
想你一個深夜的白秋
霧色濃的山丘
豪無怨尤
抬起頭
仰望無盡的住留
天上的優秀
沒有盡頭
所求
也只有
綿密的星球
能夠安然旅遊
宇宙中眾光的天球
足以安慰暫留
美好的
溫柔
時光/23
我因為獎賞
而虛度了時光
以為頭髮不會蒼老
其實跟你偕老
是一項妄想
時間它不是網
不能控制到國王
自由自在的玫瑰花
也只有汪洋
才能找到方向
你是那天光
讓我癡迷讓我想
靠近你的欲望
盡情流浪
有夢想
守護在你的兩旁
你不要遺忘
講究/24
斟字酌句的目的
是為了成為金碧輝煌
而不是黑荷無花
畫一盞心曲
見琴賞詞一兩闕
給千古遺恨說聲晚安
講究你滿懷不能直譯的詩
斷層的心思常歡
我只能意會
你書寫狂亂之意象
必有一個中央蘊釀之義
是我期期艾艾的想法
剛好可以碰撞出火花的善良
不想也罷/25
你不想升等也罷
我也不願意工筆畫
為孤獨而含淚
這是修行者的懷抱之襟
總要腊炬成灰
才能享盡功名了得
錦衣夜行不如錦上添花
如此多彩的咬文嚼字
我既喜然而為
卻又不失金口之尊
沈默是最大的人間謊言
印在心中的字/26
得妙法良藥
無病且不老不死
心存虔誠敬意
可找到佛號永在心中的位置
卍字之為延伸
持久念經唱題之為修羅
即南無的百善
永久信仰的心狂奔
諸天善仲是我口罩上的福氣
永遠的七字菩提
是凡夫的救命恩者
我以原子筆描繪揮毫之
即使夢中雨中步行中
也不會忘懷
此經在我心上的投影
法香的忱著
書法狂熱/27
墨寶的堆積是否奏效
愈為輕盈或者沈重
持經者之約束
為齋戒沐浴
不使抄經惹塵埃
我狂命的抄寫
一顆寄寓甚高的虔心
字在筆下化為蓮華
流暢伝唱出更溫暖的和氣
雅致而文明的善書
遂成為一種值錢的藝術品
作家們爭相驚艷
因為比寫書好賺得多
伝染世間的書法狂熱細菌
在念珠的斷線中
執著著風雅的複製
書法書寫於是流行於文壇
曾幾何時的夢想
快要被巨人們各個超越
真是學藝超群的汗顏
快語人心/28
為了多說一些逆耳的話
竟修辭為口吃
我暢談次第一紊亂
只得向內巡視
說給自己一個人聽
雙關語曾是我的最愛耍寶
現在身體和肥豬之間
英文單字跨足台語
成了一則扭曲的笑料
有時書寫可以逼出最終真相
但口誤則會嚼舌根
使得文本尷尬
但小說始自於瘋言瘋語
何必負責去修修臉
狂語既出無恥跟著失效
咀嚼蠟/29
有時也形同嚼蠟
無趣到了上高峰的極點
孤苦伶仃的對話
不如改寫成一部長片
燃燒蠟燭的長度
那無聊會化作一種說話藝術
研究說詞的文賦
每個不善言辭的人們
都可以搜集手機中的對談
成為一篇小說的靈感
而主角可以是忘我的火雞
寫出繽紛/30
我也可能是記錄迷
痴狂的為寫作而不顧形象
不想回家跟失眠的床四目相對
旅遊各種書寫的立體姿勢
從記憶中釀出珍珠
去勇敢冒險
闖出一條思路
只因為繽紛太迷人
駢文太情色
誏人以身相許
不貪看別人的創作
只要能尋獲勝利的閱覽
人生是光明的駒
跑出一本本的走馬燈
字的癮君子/31
措辭,踉蹌和時間賽跑
文字是偽君子
令讀者拼命抽菸蒂
雙雙成為瘋狂的文字癮君子
一眨眼睛,忘情其中
深深被墨水灌醉
浮華在筆走龍蛇中想像
接下來的三心兩意
如何評定一本書的封閉因果
定稿/32
完畢一部作品有多累人
折磨心力的琢雕
神像一般的萬古流芳
各種文字類型
飄散出慧眼識芳語
定稿是一個階段的句點
有待書評來垂吊
是非天秤上的水準
美滿菩提/33
書寫一部情史
把時間管理妥當
慢慢的推磨
打字以外的書寫快感
美滿是豐收的心
佛理滿盈
抄詩寫經只為你
般若安詳
珍惜/34
昨天我又沒聽話,
去浴缸泡澡淨身,
你好生氣,
有潔癖的你,
給我一場情色很久的夢,
激情之後我才懂得,
你的力比多施不出來,
我悶悶的,在夜裏寫伊媚兒給你,
我不要聽到你男性的啜泣聲,我不忍。
風的故鄉/35
你暫住風的故鄉,
我盛情祝福,思念你,
像各種耳邊叨擾和喧囂,
我訴說的愛,
風一樣激狂,浪漫,
我令風格一樹的對話,
留存在彼此的內心深處,烙印。
擊打鍵盤/36
用手機打字
手寫一些情感教學
輪流排列出一首詩文
手唱頌美妙創意
打了鐵失了憶
與書寫結緣
像是一次次南柯之夢
夢土上收獲快語
流利的文法
以及唯心的故事
每個心愛的草體字元
匯成一篇完滿句集
狂語/37
我瘋狂的疾筆
意象充滿文字棋盤
淺見有深壑
洞見隱私
詩中的畫任你想像
書寫狂人
赤裸文學的修飾
驚呼一語
就地震了讀者的腦
字幕/38
拼命得像記者爆料
對照文字與言說
聽翻譯寫乍現靈思
字幕是一座溝通的橋
多少訊息輸入輸出
現實的要命消息
雖然閃的曇花一現
卻有深奧的內幕
書法/39
墨水是定型的液體
毛筆這撣工具
幾乎是乾笑掃把
把字體自我繪出筆跡
不准有脫窗的字列一員
守規格的抄經
是正道蘊蓄
文釆飛翔
佛的文學創作
永恆經典
假如馬路可以寫/40
那是地上標誌
公共符號
但若你缺乏紙
可以想像
馬路是你揮灑不完
一張黑色的長捲宣紙
以金彩書寫路況
安全順暢
用速度寫所有門路
掃街是一種手法
寧願是鑲嵌
行車規則規劃規範
說比寫的不一定快又好
只求為都市立命
不要有悲傷意外的文本
誏標旗飄高尚口號
流通交通這本書
意義/41
看到紙就發作了寫作癮
演講紙上的兵術
長途的文藝路
也有洛陽紙貴的時候
總喜歡筆記胸壑義
搶著記錄流暢的文思
意思是一種玩味
在語言文字的泥淖上爬
像嬰兒室的修行
思想是崇高的山丘
每天都可看日月太極昇華
學習寫哲學細緻心法
為智慧澆上營養
想法必要真學
書寫的義務
文人病/42
一定要咬文嚼字
思索用字遣詞
風尚習成的積極
不斷的意謂詩之為物
文詞斟酌像米粒雕刻
支持言論自由權
對人身攻擊很敏感
挑剔文題的鞭辟入理
筆是文人的筷子
挑起超級的邏輯理論
無竹使人俗之過
從來都是個人修為
尊崇的指標
文字槍/43
他是劈頭的口說文字槍
教學子彈的真理
專心聽也不一定懂
胡說一通的小小兵語言
只有他完全懂
天龍國語的真言宗論
於是用語音輸入長話一篇
省略訓話營的痛苦
說道是用心良苦的差事
他的真槍實彈
不是文字玩具的騙術
福跡/44
福到了的字跡
陪伴我的書案之心旅
愈寫愈幸福
臨陣磨槍的硯墨
成為秘密符號
好書是口福
壞書是口禍
修行福運
唯一的標題是笑口常開
像吃大福中的紅豆泥
鴻運當頭的那桌
幸福彼岸不遠
符/45
一符好藥是佛心
藥到病除
每個詩人都有自己佛經
也是詩之符的創造者
文字結界四通八達
筆出既然成文
如何寫出心中的精華
符合獨照的思惑
浪潮的符合
拼湊熱鬧滾滾的文章
符咒語防止厄運
逢凶化吉
文字吉祥是良禪
主動書寫/46
沒自動書寫這回事
只有主動書寫
或者寫了後忘記
為了教育目的
每次起頭開始寫
都充滿了希望
細心研磨文字經
雕琢內容中的主見
唯有將腦子善用
才不會有冷嘲熱諷
回收的垃圾處理
善書/47
一人一本
寄寓善念之舉
滿佈世間
寫善書的是居士
無作三身
使癒合心靈傷口
治療可憐
但願人手一本
發心大念
慈悲為懷的旨意
伝遞給全世界
一心向善
善即根本大法
救渡眾生
文本快感/48
文之悅這本書
令人想要無止盡的寫
忙碌在文字堆中
疊著考究的創作字體
為了文字書寫的快感
我狂命的創造
文學積木的痕跡
奔跑在稿紙之中
還寫滿本靈感的關鍵字
靈機一動書寫狂熱
文本快感雖然廉价
但每次都充實
期刊/49
就是載不動幾多愁
才誏主編累壞了
編也編不完的續期
每本都新鮮噬寫
拼了命強出頭的發表
不一樣的主題篩選
激勵了大家蠢蠢欲動的筆
智者讀得當仁不誏
期刊的出版與投稿
是評審的把關
不可偷渡
這個人人動筆的年代
書寫有如室內划船
跋山涉水/50
筆下的遊歷風景
是經驗取向的
為了情節攪盡腦汁
文字的大觀園
是對聯的賞心悅目
來到山水吉地
想像力琢磨成河川
山勢是筆走龍蛇
為了詮釋學
費盡口舌和文筆
和文壇一拚
貢獻出建設性的文思
所謂書寫的旨趣
獨樂樂不如眾樂樂
(end)
2018年11月1日 星期四
Face universe
face universe/pollywoo
freedom silence, I won`t let you, I feel empty world inside of me, all I need is peace and calm.
Dream of sitting on your class, but I don`t know why you only need fantacy, no want real me beside you.
I have to face the truth, being alone is a great room to think, I don`t want to die.
I try not to miss you, I am not a play girl any more, you don`t know my need.
You lie to me, I don`t care, you are not honest and kind, you stole my heart.
So bye bye,I live in my shelf of loving myself, I refuse the class on whose store.
I learn selfish from you, and every one.
You cheat me, I know every student like you, so I give up once being your learner. You like young girl don`t you, I rather keep your lie in the grave, forget you.
I swear never read book again, all wordwill change overtime, I believe.(end)
You never care about me, just look the strange part of me, I take care of me, that`s fine, I hate you, you are a gay, a big
Faker, I think I see you wrongly. Ugly is the penis, nobody want it, I will stay away from people, they are crazy shit.
Distance. Long as gap, I don`t mind for the world is worth to curse, every one want money, I have cold war with everyone, who care about lousy architeches.
I am afraid of this world, no one has no crime, I want all of you losing face, I live in my own way, I want to be a free will person, I can see everyone is a lie, no any moment is forever, I better learn to face myself to sleep and live well.
He is a brainy dynamo, he brain wash his students just want them to brown study by intellectural brain wave, we brandy the scandal as true love, he say that I am a beautiful bandsman, we have no audisom for each other, I am a autodidact but not a autographing writer, he tell me he want to be a AI automaton maker by automation to chase my authorship colony singer, we are never affectless, just like allowance of beneficial buckeye on our connective mind, I cook brown rice with brown sugar for our cat, I browse his baleful bad faith, and he has bagful explain like bail for freedom, I know he is a bantam who ever watch baffle with me, today my bankbook get a banquet of receiving stock money he exchange bankroll for me, banjo I laugh like this, although my two arms axon like awl nailing on me, my azure named and I like to observe the ballyhoo, I use byword like a brakeman, eczema has gone.
戀人絮語的愛情哲學(love philosophy of lovers fragrance discourse)by pollywoo
(lovers fragrance discourse) is a book written by Roland barthe, he gather students report to collect a thick thesis about love, it is also a quest to love goddess, it is a group creation book, but it has its depth of thoughts about the progress of romance. this is a disconstructional literature book, it mention about the love in the process of many emotions and struggles.
watch drama/
I watched operetta, my brain laugh like inject opiate,rattle snake makes merattlebrain,the desecrate of drama perform a desicate desrter fettle like fetus feud,the fiddle begin like feudal,the acter he galop at full speed,bearish break the ice.motley motto mousse the mottled mound,like sponge baby,spoken streamlet and stray with his strap,he is enterprising and the oracle is a circular opt,opulence the optic with opprobrium words,I drink cognate cognac brandy,he cohere with cohesive coil like cogwheel,coconut coinage is like furrow,I feel fuss as fusionbomb,in futurity the peach fuzz is a insination,fury fusey the fuselage,inshore inset fuzzy love.the actress her is uprightness,a interposition Interpol,she interment and intermission the intern,it cause interjection,Hurrah! In the interim she interdiet intercourse and interchangeable sex among herbalists,there is a herald that carnivore with helpmate be killed by helve knife,I hold my hemstitch hope that they get both heraldry and herbage.
shy thinker/
I try to not be so shy, but honestly I just can`t speak on public, because I have lecture forbid, but I can chat a lot with my friends, I tell the secret that in side my mind, and it is so much release of me.
I am asked about why not log on facebook recently, I know he is watching me, but I feel tired, don`t want to go facebook so far, I don`t know what I should show to him, to make him happy.
last night I dream about him, he hear me cry, so he come to save me by teaching me psychological lessons, I am so happy that he show up in front of me, he shines me like a lighten star.
I understand that I am not shy as he, but I am a conservative thinker that I never think out of the box, I am a little odd, after I am cured by the theory he teach, but I wonder if I am rescued by him.
because of him, I get lucky on my every thing, I seem like a slot winner that I get eight million by three minute, I am daydreaming that I know both of us need money very much, we have to pray.
after pray, we are better communicating on things we thought, we are shy on sexuality, but we aRE not so wanting on that, for we both are middle age, and sex can`t arouse our body pleasure.
he read a lot, and I can correct him, for I used to read a lot before, we read the same kind knowledge, and we all know it is masculine theory, so I decide to join a feminist poem writing action.
but I don`t hate man, I just hate bad man, bad people who do wrong things makes me hate them, I really want to love those shy thinkers who are kind and generous, I believe that will be thankful.
(Calm self)
I really quiet down myself for a week, for I get the help of mind curing of a woman, she let me feel the healthy mind everyday, if I feel something wrong, I will do her recipe on my shoulders, and no more noise will come to me, or bother my self thinking, it is really a free charity to me, for I can feel the good part of myself, and get well in each moment I spend, I wish if some on need help, you can tell me, I try to contact the helper with you.
face universe/pollywoo
i once like a turtle never strach out my communication with the social circle, but i find out why in my mind ghosts are fulling around me, because i cant deal with the mess i write each and everyday, and those who read my writings on the newspaper come to me, they are mad about my feminist theory, somehow i get the insperation from their reactions on me, and i kind of like revenge writing down what they did to me, and it is just like reserch on huminity on ghosts, it was frenzy fun to earn the money from all souls that surounding me and i can tell each of them characters.
now i am happy to accept the universe in my peaceful mind, i keep my speed of my mind with the horoscope, and i believe that i finally get ride of me moody fate, i save a bill of money in the bank, for prepare for a need that in my future life i can live happy with this money, the money keep growing as every time i go to the bank near by,i am happy that i become a little wealthy as i hide a wish in the russia doll, "i wanna get rich", isnt it a positive and good wish to everybody`s life!
i like to read books, study the mistery of books, i am a writer who love rational thinkings, also i write too many unpublished books that no one want to introdue for me, but i still get reputation in some way of field in writing psycology of women. i get to know psycology of men in my university days, by reading master`s books, i think they missed the hatred of female`s mind in too many ways, such as how suffering all women ever experience like birth, work, family, school, career, and so on, women are motif in this world, if they live in the world of no love, the universe they cant face is blue.
in the maze of my reading experience, i like to dig out the taboo of sex knowledge for it is the opposite of buddhism, i want to realize both topic, to show the reality of belif between saint and nasty. some how love is the huge qust between this myth on the cross road, i ask all people show the EQ of love when they face the universe of affactions, to fullfill the dream of daring to love.
there maybe danger in the path to wonderland, but i suggest everyone should give a try to feel the reality and fantacy, more imagination can rich the life of chasing love, when friendship comes, it is a kindness that you share your trust to be frank to your friend, even it is a saint soul, you can spoil self by speaking to a supposed object, to say all the thoughts to the muse inside of you, then you will possible to become a very charming writer in your effert to the contribution of the book land.
every night before i get to sleep, i will tell myself that a nice dream will show me what to do in front of the waking up next day, i believe analyze the dream by instinct way is to forget the nightmare or sweet dream overnight, to face the universe of my mind in each whole new tomorrow, so i am not afraid of darkness and fear of bad dreams any more, that is just a mirror of reality like a self movie i play inside my closed eyes, i like to share one dream yesterday, as i try to collect a clock of my father, i get arkward struggle at the failure of the falling down of all pieces in the clock, i think maybe it shows that i am wasting time to face the left hours i can still live with my old father, i should do somthing to make him happy, i wish him healthy till live long with my mother, i like this faith duely.
i have a proffeser who teaches psyco-analyze of Freud, i just think about if it is suitable for me to accept the mind scan to sickness of patients nowadays, he talks about the precautious and transfer complex, he also tells the destructive truma and remembering of memory, in case history, no scientific function can distingruish the truth of narrative and identification of recollection, myth has its meanng, before finding repetation it is meaningless, it is not obvious then be called myth, patients are lke ponds, they always transfrence to love the doctor, to escape the illness of their fellings of belonging. my professer anounce that women has three type, ideal woman, flower idiot, and dark african. i think i have all of these type symptoms, because i change my self with my changeable writings, so i confess that am not a healthy mind when i speaking theory of feminism and literature.
if the body is an earth, then the protection of comforting energy must be the hydrosphere, that covers the curing mind literature in the conclusion of happy ending, psyco-analyze will be the basic theory that apply in the critics of such kind of works. i try to distingrurish serious writing from psyco-analyze function, and i find out this writing gives us a model of not to make psyco mistakes in reality, so many people concern about the human healthy of mind, just like literature reflect the communication and mind activity of the roles, so as us live in the streamline of everyday brain working, if we are ill then how we show that each wrong idea has a turning back shore to return, only by correction and self three qualitys, tention, intention, attention, one can get back to wholely self by easy way.
schizo is not a traditional illness in psycology field, it is first named after a phylosofy writer and thinker, who once crying beside a horse, because he has sypathy on that laboring horse; Gothe is being named as schizo patitent too, because he is the pioneer of horror novel, thriller, and fancy literature. schizo patient is standing in the land of huge space and time that the illness cant be traced when he conqur the doctor, and recover from messive thinking. if he can tell every motive reason of his action, then he is more closer to healthy life then ever before. at least Freud didnt conclue schizo in his study, one scholar named Hanna Segal, she is making efferts in curing schizo in Freud time, but her working havent being translate yet, it is quite a pity, as i know some schizo paitents are genius not found in the hospital and society, now this illness is changed into the name of thinking disorder, but some easy mind patients still make crime if they are not cured well.
Hanna is teached by Malanie Kline, they study the nacisism of scizo patients, she has one book named "psycoanalyze, literature and war", i beliieve the war means hyteler caused racism and the struggle between psycoanalyze and literature, but i have never read this book, and i try to do my own analyze between these two, to comform my writing in the sphere of psycology which is related to buddhism, i whish myself to meet ideal lover, but no one comes to me, only series of daydreaming that hold my breathe that i feel like dying drowning in the water of sex, i have paranoid of fency sexuality, but now i have cured by nearby clinic doctor, and because of i study psycoanalyze recently with theteaching from professer, i get to know being a normal person sometimes is hard to control.
i remember that professer has mentioned about little Hans, Anna, and Dora, this three case historys make me think of my adore to some famous males, and finally get tragedy in the end i live in hospital for a while, this is painful without freedom, i heart is opening after several time of hospital experience, i realize that to be balance and catharsis in mind is never fall in sick love again, so i imagine one day i can be rich from those novels i wrote, but this kind of psyco writing seems only stand for the taboo that lovers dont do, and finally my nagative novels have contribute people to chase love in a blind and dark room, without the light of knowing each other, therefore i think romance is dead fountain.
curing literature is very nice for people ever get hurt to read, it heals people`s heart of broken, i feel like getting ride of the tragedy for forgetting every texture of adoring some one, it is not what i really need love, but i write love so i need a male muse, so i think that i was over serious in the drama of my mind, that`s why i get hurt by being rejected by male, love is just a experiment of my writing, no need to take it as a truth or reality, it can be a made up myth or a bad legend, just we cant take it seriously that we want a happy ending, we only can fency or imagine that we get good wedding but in reality we divorce for we are not born to be married, we just need a relationship.
last night i am too tired that i sleep long time without eat pills, i think i am getting a deep dream of test that if i can risk my life to protect a trilogy of sex novel, to pass it to a publishment secretly, it is quite strange that why people dont have to read then they know the taboo of sexuality, for it is the original sin i think this is not a saint deed inmy dream, only when the book bing rewrite and being burned that i have no any idea of sadness or regret, i onlly take it normally that the deed is for making babys, not for pleasure life, but all my writings are taking sex as a interest between both sex, i never think about the things will happen to me, cause i am only a narrative teller of fentasy, i couldnt find a positive way to escape from the brain mystery.
dream is a kind of existence, for us to rethink to ourselves if we have some reflection crime in the dark dream, we are forced to think over the dream that without any other main role but us, writing is a kind of existence too, just i often take dream as a sorce of imagination, but sometimes i will made up the plots to get my point of view, i know that writing if cant last long in the name of love, then it must be pervent writing for everyone to write, it result the high and low quality mix in the litrature stage together, real literature should care about the problem about peoplewho cant writing, and it is the right of writers to tell the deep reality of every difficulty of people that life is not easy for the complicated mind of people, the humanity is just like a joke, and a history of psycoanalyze.
the depression of civililation is all too well, it prevent from rudeness and evilness to happen in the body and mind of female, why is schizo is not rooted from little age, because it is unsuiteable for the one to live in a society of diversity, but his writing is not based on the torture he get from the reality, the lesson from social university is to get adventage from reality, but writers always love to create, out of a idea that makes him joyful, but it may hint a damage to the people`s reality of pure joy.we all know that mind is a history of twisted kind of everyone, no one is always upright, for selfish and self situation, one must concider what the future will be, and try effert to make it as richful as real, no one want to die in blond hell of life, that`s why the brain seems to be the main leader of one`s behavior, talk, think, act, eat, devide, sick, nonesense, it is the controler of one`s deed and karma, so we need to perform like a civilized one in the public and then relax in different way, it is the two sick faces of all fellow people, so no one can escape the duty of self esteem.
to make a progress of ones own, one must study hard and read more, but where is the money to get a good book like saints think, it is a question for education to solve, what if a student refuse to read anything, refuse to use brain on abstract thinking, a teacher must give him a motive of reading intention, to think more is not smart, to think right is smart, but in the river of info how one to make judgement on different kind of flatter words, if speaking is just to make communacation and relation free, how to concit that we have prejedy and disbelief on the foreum on television, we all know they are making show effect only, no pne really care about the sufferer in the case history.i really hate to watch hypecratic talk show because it is talking nonesense, no deep thoughts like a schaler or psylosofer really think of the way out, and really i have to say that each people have no solution if they dont change for the better, no one can help them to live like mouse.
how to unlock my mind of soundless, i think writing is making trouble, but the money is really tasty that i cant give up the reputation of writing, i like to be a none heteria person, being quiet like a baby, when i cry on the pillow i need a voice to tell me not to waste tears, that`s not the fine way to save crisis of myself, but a spell from buddha really save me, i think i am the lucky one to have a lot of fans following me, so i need to be healthy to justify myself, in order to begin again.writing is a curing way for a isolate heart, i think no matter whatever you write, never think evil to set up for some innocent citizens to be the one you write, fate is not made up, it is a group of your life punishment and the relaiton you make, good or bad is what we choose for, not really a god who watch us each and everyday, we are the observer of ourselves, we are the fater when we talk like a novelist, or write like a novelist, no one can produce a crime for you if you dont jump down the trap.
how quick we get through a wound and get out of it, it is just like writing a novel and forget about it, then you are cured for you learn to forgive, if tomorow i am dead, i wont regret for i enlong my life enough by heaven`s pray, i am the final one that believe people are all kind and nice, grace like mother mary, now i dont write evil, and i am not evil all the time, but i know a wrong idea can push you into hell, so mind the heart, never mind if people say something wrong of you, you wont become that way if you hold up your breathe and tell yourself that i am ganna be fine for i never do immoral things, you will be a good liver in your life, a good writer is a fake, not through all practice and training cant make you a AUTHOR, you have to experience the life to tell the truth of logic you admit, for me i totally give up love, but i still write the love i belive, i am angel of my self, schizo analyze is making alternative self, not like psyco analyze it is early close, patriarchic prejedice, and to decode nomality and innormality, it takes texture of serching a mind if it is sick.
curing my university is the only way to get healthy, i am glad tonight i have an evoke of dream, taht makes me refresh, i dont need to face the disaster others judge me, i am the master of my mind, i am from now on willing to be a writer of healing. believe in magic, and you can get free of trouble and worry, the shortage of intellecture is not a wickness, the more you read the more you get crazy, dont easily believe in others saying, you have to prove it in your own way, and psyco analyze is the best way, you can see through others mind, and the breaking ice is to defense not to be cheated by others, while religion can let you believe in yourself, to worshiping yourself, when you are all alone, writing a poem collection can be a solo working of mind, and a way to learn to get alone with yourself, writing is facing myuniversity for a long time, to help myself free.
wisdom comes from life experiemce, that`s for sure, but reading make us choose both side of wisdom, i like to read horoscope to do the fate of my everyday life, but i feel a little objection that i dont like to read the knowledge nowadays, for thirty years of reading experience, i know some people writing for twisting my viewpoint i find out from the very first origional books, like game theory it is a methamtic theory on unsolved exact, but now some writers apply it on company and life reaction principles, i have to judge it, because it is not the way they say, in postmodern days, people are telling lies that they dont know, fact is a jail that you cant get into, love song is killing you that you dont get it, we love to hear good lyrics but not trust it, we are struggling between the fashion and postfasion, if i say i dont believe in fashion, then i can be a frank writing worker.
the hospital give me drugs to kill me, i run to the street clinic to search for help, and i find that i never a problem of this society, just the government treat me as a problem, set me up in the id of blue patient, all my life i running in the way of subnormal name, just because i am not feeling like to tell the truth, if i make up a wish of buying things, i think it is trash thought, i live in the space of trash free, i dont like to make junk of thoughts, but the televsion force us to. what can we do, not to see the media going mad, it is because the mouth is free for alter wrong idea to make money so people rush to dare say wrong ideas on the screen, what a shame for them to say slogens.
writing is a big engirneer, if you do it little by little, you make it huge finally, your voice is loud, in the every word you say, i am a reporter of my mind, any reader can see that some times i am not serious and hurmor, and people dont like me this way, they like me to appeal the truth of human`s weakness, and the destiney of my story, why people dont like to hear the brave of saving poors, it is a myth to tell right from wrong, but i can easily find the answers. if the answer is changeable, it must be popular for people to believe, for they just like fresh new staff, they forbid the universe truth that life is boring, so we wrieters become entertainment producer, why dont they at first study the trancedence of tragedy, but study the bitrth of tragedy i ask them face their universe first, in order to prevent the mind from broken.in such alien world, people are sinking in thier own interest, and favor of loving, but they cant escape from working to make money, in the capitalism rules, no money means poor, rich is bad for growig of mind, if money can buy wisdom, why still people so foolish, to kill time, to tell lie, to spend show life in the day of the falling psyco analyze, people can do anything they want by money, they cant buy healthy, because the body is your universe, if you dont take care of it, you will go crazy or insane, by the bothering of outsider, the peaceful mind is to kill the fakeness of this world, to obtain the self satified spiritural energy and wealth. depending on others is a bad attitude, doing your own thing, dont be insonia in healthy life, the world always has a trend to cheat you, and remember writing can be a way to cheat others too, so it is like a compitition of lie racing, tell a lie seems no big deal, but in business field, lie will make you stunble.curing writing seems follish, its logic is childish, but the evil world wont stop for that kind of story, so i support religion writing better, it may be good healing to the humanity of broken heart. i think reading can be a interfere force in the people who are sick or unperfect minded, because they will learn the crime thriller writer`s book, to make the same crime, it is dangerous influence. news has no soul, it reports the bad and ugly side of the society, but if we take it as a lesson, we might live good in the shelter of mora;ity, no body will harm us for we walk together with the path of universe, all horoscope has its rules, under the order of news, something we can do is pray, for the karma of the world to reduce and welcome peace to come.
the starship is loading our sense and mind, into a never stop road on air, in the darkness, our vision of subconscious is so very fuzzy, that we dont understand how to escape from darkness to the bright light we finding for, searching for, even dreaming of it, the universe is shined by the sun, the center of our milky way, to follow the universe is to get up with the space of the world, so that you will get healthy and happy that you will do your things well, no any other obstacles can stop you, when we writing, we feel the same way too, insperation never end.
if every one is a planet, then psyco analyze is the universe, it precise the paitent`s situation, to open his tie in his heart, it is a healing of mental science that better then read mind curing, the later is often using when writing a narritive text, but not a ill book or case history, as we learn the hole science of chinese medicine curing, we know every line of our body is connected, so we can heal the part of hurting by message the hole, i try to find out my silence of sleep by opening the light, and i try to message my solar hole when i get headache, it really works, so as writing, if curing is not good enough topic, then why not write about feelings you hidden inside.
curing writing is to report what make you suffer, honestly tell in the diary that who influnce you, and who bolly you, the process of experience if too painful, you do not want to recall, then you can tell some one in the clinic doctoring room, that you dont want to suffer any more, to become healthy is possible for you in the future, if you use the right method to cure yourself, you can be like me that happy and peaceful everyday, reading the small book of curing tips, i really get a lot of profit that i want to share with those who are not happy, and to cure them by the rules i read.
first of all, i want to share my history of mess image come from ghosts, thay force me to have sex, i have no way to escape, so i go abroad to find adventure of sexuality, and seven days i get back to my home, they still trouble around me, i am in the hell of soul sufferig endless sexuality with ghosts, but somehow it is more pleasure then real sex, i endure until i am forty more, i find a good friend he judge me that i am wrongly doing pronogrophy, so i have self rethink over and over again, i finally get a curing help from a place where is free to cure people, i listen to her words and cure the way she said, then i buy some rings to keep bad people away, i am totally cured, my world is so calm that no sound or image bother me, untill today i can happy doing what i want.
library collect/pollywoo
my teacher has a special taste that he loves to collect standard books, which is good quality in the content, every book that he buy is so full of philosophy depth, and I really love the heart that chasing after the truth and never rest and stop, he pursuit the consumption of books which all kinds of language he can understand, is all what he really realize not just show off.
he once announced that he want to donate his all collections to the library, I wonder why he buy and send the blood of his treasure but not build a library of his own, but I can't figure out, I think maybe he is out of selfishless goal for all people can study and read what he try hard to collect.
2017年4月16日 星期日
Saint dream
saint dream/pollywoo(2017/4/4)
when i have a dream of he cleansing face on my back, i sense him still need me with company, but i dont want him any more.he is a phantom around me, i have several of saint dreams because of his show up, but my brain told me that he never give me any presents such like travel together, or buy me a ring to praise me how good cooking i am doing to him, he just like a gangster on my soul that asking for more and more.but it shows how dignity he has to being alone, he is a tender lover that only in my dream.
my reality is very moral, but in my dream it is so lot of plots to write down as recording document to analyze, just like i am female Freud doctoring myself every night.tonight, i have a peacefully dream, that is beause of i pray for god to let me sleep without night mares, but tonight i have terrible dreams of my shadow, i take action to forget about it, and this is really very good to me, i need no signs to symbol my life any more, i am with myself all alone.
tour note/polly woo
i have been to so many places that are countless, i write down some notes about my memory, and i travel around taiwan so happily that those memory i cant forget.
(1)228park history muzem(228公園)
thus is a beautiful park, with a historical muzem in the door, when i enter it i ask myself why japanese authority wanted to build a western Memorial hall like this, may be it is out of heritage from Holland and Spanish power ruling, and it is as white as snow on each wall out side and in side.
there are some decorated pillars on the roof, and each corner has its special grace sculptures, they are Rococo style of old establishment that remain the atmosphere of classic so well, i observe it with my eyes of diamond, and i find out it is a real richful treasure that when i discover the structure of deep intentions, i can realize that this building is a luxury gift that colonial country given to us taiwanese, how cant we treat it like a heaven present, and protect it well.
(2)eastern velly of taiwan island(花東)
there are so many rice growing over the farm land, in the rainy day we go through the eastern velly,where there are breathing mountains with clouds covering around like fog, and the small house are almost white style that makes the mood of this field so fresh and bright, as we find out this quiet heaven as a neighborhood of the main jade mountain, i also see the purity of fore chilai mountain on the other side, the green gress of home is so lightly removed in my mind, that i will never forget the insight of scene.
(3)pingding old stream(坪頂古玔)
we walk through the entrance of pingding, and along the way with bamboo stick on hands, we climb the ladders of stone after a picnicking rest in the concrete bridge, we reach the dingshan bus station, but the time is still two hours away, so we come to the coffee shop and have a very wonderful afternoon, the farmer boss is so glad to serve us water and coffee, with lotus cookies and a holland old map of where we are in young ming mountain, we have a very enjoyment of time on marching in.
(4)dragon head mountain(龍頭山)
around the moshen blog, there is a broken dragon head mountain and stream over there, the sightseeing is very fabulous that i watch the touring bus go right down to the center of the stream, and then we run to the blog to drink a nature coffee and aiyu beverage, there is a empty alley along the blog, every school and house are closed, we cant find the culture of native life, for they all move to the citys, and never return.
(5)sainter spring(聖人瀑布)
there is a sainter spring on the final station of bus to the hiking road, i go to see the long clean spring that flowing down the river with huge stone on its stream, i sit on the sidewalk to wait for the return bus to come, my mom go to see the village in front of the station, and describe it to me, we meet a old female farmer who have a planting veges career on the mountain, we take the same bus to the mrt station, and finally we feel very content with this tour.
(6)ulai shopping and dinner(烏來)
we go to ulai to see the popular production and old street, and there is a small muzem of origional race, report living history and showing the life style of ulai people, the ulai river is so large that a long bridge is over the trouble water, we have a chat in the small dinning restaurant, eating some vege and chicken meat on the table, after the sun is set, the station is getting dark, we get on the bus by long line waiting, and in my mind i remember the coming road is so beautiful that we all get a marvelous time.
(7)small green pool(小碧潭)
we take the mrt to the small green pool, it is a place where roadside stand are all souround on the two sides of the bridge, the riding boat is renting for tourists to play, and i watch the lake with unspeakable mind, somehow the water is not so pure that it smells, i see the high price estate advertising is spreading all over the road, but i dont really afford to live here, so i left with a mindful memory that never feel like go back here, because it is a pollute pool.
(8)support north temple(拱北殿)
here is a popular place where people are all happily going inner and outer part of the temple, in the square lots of gatgering noise are processing, we walk around the heaven father's temple, it is hell buddha who stand on the supporting stage of the worshipping room.
(9)golden dragon lake(金龍湖)
the lake looks like golden waves on the surface, we walk along the wooden bank, the sunset was so beautiful that it colours us with the heat and sweat, the temple in the upper ladder is support rice noodles, because today is Buddha's birthday, the high building in the middle of the lake looks like solitude, although it is deviced with elevater, but seldom inhabitants come to visit the lake, maybe they just get tired of the scence everyday in the window.
(10)danjhon university(淡江大學)
the university is empty in the new year day, as we enter the school, we have to get the permission of the guardian to visit whole campus, after we walk on the literary major building, i found it so narrow in the class room that almost no pass way for students to get out or get in, how they made it, i dont know, perhaps the classic pathway of the
garden is where students chatting under the shatter of the long route of winding park, i sense the romantic air of red build dream filming around here that so nice.
(11)chuchen ceromony park(中正紀念堂)
it is a nice day as i go see a theater perform in the concert hall, i saw the lover drama of drum and mass singing together, the night was so decent that i can feel my friend sit in the front seat to murmur with my mind, he always wants to watch a performance with me but my mom is sitting next to me, so i can only enjoy and analyze the theatre with him inside our subconsciousness of communication, how glad it is to spent a night with my favorite one in such a hall.
(12)stream of fir wood(杉林溪)
the atmosphere is very fresh, the tree is so straight talk like jokestick, there is a blue dragon spring in the end of hiking way, and when we reach there we all wet and hot, it is the time when climbing mountain is so interest and fun, we get to the eye of the heaven and earth, where there is a stone on the wall look like a white owl head, it is so proudly that we climb the top scene and take photo on the facebook, it is a very meaningful traveling experience.
(13)xinglong park(興隆公園)
the park is like buddhaism atmosphere for the pool is springing beautiful and all kinds of plants are growing so well, the new built park bridge is like a pink rainbow that in the center of the pool, it arouse so many image thought about the moon elder who connect people's wedding red line, but since its just a traditional legend, the park is decorated by the mood of wonder land that we like to exercise a little around such kind of scene.
(14)green lake park(碧湖)
the lake is huge with beautiful scene of surrounding plants and sightseeing in the center, the birds come close the water and the lake surface is like waves of bible saying, it is very saint that i am moved by the white bridge and the under water, i have so good memorys with my lover by the lake, every time i run to see him, he never know i have no time to go around the lake, because i visit him behind my mom's back, i am afraid of being scold by her, and my lover, for i love them both, dont want to be unhappy about it. he told me the lake is a last purity land he guardian for me, i am very touching to see his kindness.
女性福祉
1
女性為了保護自己,多半活在自己的內心世界,以女性思想為中心,看這個印象世界,陰性的反應,和母系社會的權益,如何支配著男性的需求,這就是男女對治的煩惱。如果男女朋友合得來,就不會有許多煩惱,或麻煩,假如不相配,再怎麼條件好也是沒有用的。
2
世界寂靜了,只有我和我的靈魂,在沉思對話著,曾經擁有的,並不會憑空消失,反而更飄出雋永的香。一代新人換舊人,被淘汰的人,只能孤單過歲月,住悲慘世界的遭遇挫折己心,向過去的婚姻說告別吧!
3
愛是用金錢來衡量的,若是沒有錢,哪裡會找得到愛的施捨,女人就這麼現實,但世界也會翻轉,由女人來供養男人,這是眷戀,看上眼的付出,在愛情史上女人的愛都是浪漫情懷的展現,表示男人功利薰心,自以為是,其實這試探,是在探索男人的美德。
4
女人不要男人的世界,很多人都知道,男人吃盡女人豆腐,還剝削她,女人需要男人關懷,鬥嘴,回敬,但是很多男人不解風情,認為女人需要男人的錢,和登對的陪伴,曬恩愛,這只是初戀階段,進入本質之後,女人為了福祉設下戰場,給男人下帖書。
5
異性戀不好參,很多障礙,但是速食愛情不會消失,通常愛上一張臉孔的愛,是愚蠢的,但是年輕人們心甘情願,死纏爛打,只為了一張迷人的一見鍾情,這痴心妄想也是愛情生態的一種,只不過現在流行的是愛上一顆精心計畫的腦,聰明對付是為了愛的追逐。
奧妙之處
1
蒼生的心,本來就有清濁之分,因為業障浮現出來了,所以要淨化,就要互相扶持,互相砥礪,不要面對蒼生還頌押韻詩,讓他們覺得莫名奇妙的。蒼生分男女兩種,人鬼殊途,但是十界互具,餓鬼界也是要去折服的眾生之一種類別,不要恨鬼,他們也會示現神奇跡象,讓你有如處於奧妙之境。
2
因為有許多不同的機根,所以存在著各種法界,一切眾生修行人生大事,生老病死之外,還有愛情,婚姻,生孩子,孝親,賺錢等,社會大學修的就是這些學分,然而有些風雅之人,如文學家,就是愛修行知識,智慧,才藝,音樂,語言,烹飪,等領域的事情,奧妙的人生,多麼奪目精彩的成功標的,需要我們去參透了悟,所以從閱讀中親近善知識,是一個契機,人生還有許多學分可修德。
3
人生如夢,但是要看得清醒一點,將道德從頭修起絕不會後悔莫及,曾經被稱為幽靈人口,獨行俠,因為不相信人心的詭譎,現在好很多,相信佛友的說法,幫助,善誼,我再也不理會善良人士以外的愛心能量了,因為善惡分別是長期觀察出來的,真實不虛。
4
連續劇教人學習正直的心,將不負他人的愛情修得完美,圓融,女角的重要性,遠遠高於男角的創造性,因為女性思維模式,是一種窮究戲劇的追戲人想要懂得的心曲,我們暫時稱她為主軸人物,因為女性不易懂得,所以奧祕就存在心理的執著當中,若能瞭解每個女性的心靈律則,則天下不亂,反而太平昇平,因為女性已無冤屈可訴求,光明的戲劇性決定了一個女主角的前景與希望。
5
至人無夢,現在我終於體會,眼神裡面有慈悲和體貼,對人事物心懷尊重,忐忑,珍惜,人生緣遇本是一場充滿冒險的流浪,能悟出生命真理之行旅,才是豁達面對自己的寫照,不假他求,一扇門開啟了又迎接你,邁向更順暢輝耀的人生路途。
小夫婦/吳菀菱
1
我和夢中婚姻的老公,合組一個理想同居的生活,沒有背叛,但有蒼老作伴。一頭白髮婆娑,滿臉都是層層包裹的善意,但是時間過得太久,一下子就變成小嬰兒一樣的肉身了。我們荒老了又樨幼,互相扶持,不會再心痛的偽裝不愛彼此,因為這樣才是肉身不會腐朽的方式。
2
我們都不懂夫妻之間為何要爭吵,要求,計較,但是我們都做了這樣的心想,也曾埋怨對方,不瞭解自己最愛的習慣。我們活在沙發上,被榻上,卻離浴遠好遠,一起聞著對方的腐朽味。
3
曾經我們是那麼年輕,現在竟然要比較誰才不老,不怪,互相糾結在彼此相愛得更加深刻的臂彎裏。在深沉的睡眠呼吸裏,尋覓對方有可能醒不來的危機。
4
我依然愛他,只是不讓他碰我,因為這樣子才是符合老年人的王道,成熟穩重的模樣,無有色情慾望,只有衰敗的時間。據我偵查,老公把我最愛煮的火鍋吃到飽,拿到街角開餐廳,這樣他可以時常去吃,不用花費鉅大食材菜錢,還可以賺溫馨的錢。
5
我常跟他說格言,但他聽過之後就不理會,說我是婦人中心主義思想遺毒。我才不管,我要想什麼就想什麼,他聽得到我的潛意識最好,我又不是不會吵架,只是隱忍罷了。
6
老人聚會得老成的積習,這真是個歡樂的世界,偶而鬥嘴,偶爾講道理,只要覺得花草也可以進食,我雖時都可以遠行,但是遠傳那太多錢了,開心受上當一次的乖。
7
今天你還我一件最輕薄的紫外套,因為我昨天打給你,你不在家,我知道妳管理我的衣服,像一個貼心老公的嫉妒心,你喜歡這件套娃裝,所以我也心領神會的給你留言,因為愛還存在,我提起信念,來為你寫作,為你爬格子。
8
我們在王國教會那裡,一起守護曾曾孫的出生,我們要活這麼老耶,我心愛的老公,我覺得你真的有疼愛我喔!
9
也曾什麼好處都索討不到,也曾不知你在忙些什麼,只知道你擺脫我的纏繞功,破如來之糾纏,已經心神忙亂,不知如何逃避。
10
亂講一通的世界裏,誰才是正常的,這問題果真很難評準,但我只要自己的心境沉澱下來就好了,不要太過於亂想,我想要知道跟老公一起靜坐的深沉禪味,是怎樣的關係,所以就開始坐禪念經。
11
一起躺在床上聽雨,雨滴像開花時的顫音,一聲聲打在屋簷上,好似水幻交響曲,擊落一串一串針陣的點陣圖一般,讓人聽得無量快意。
12
我給老公一些細瑣的吻,他說讓我來擁抱你,好愛好愛他,我們著衣互相依偎,但是話題又來到了沒有錢的悲哀,我覺得很難過,心裡頭也希望有很多錢來彌補我們的窮酸,我吃了他買的鹹魚翻身,於是心裡一陣酸楚。
13
他不許我去華嚴宗旁聽,求一本正經回來,評論他的雲遊詩集,所以我知道他關愛我,不讓我去拿什麼獎金和免費吃齋的修行利益,因為他不讓我出家,要我修好一張美妻的臉孔和心地。
14
我的煉語術太紛雜了,使我覺得對不起他,只要我一心對他忠誠,他也會跟著一起純潔的說話,毫無隱瞞和隱藏,我想像這就是一種夫妻之間的善良禱告,彼此都聽得見的坦承。
15
睡眠之間,我夢見了一個外國人,錯把他當成老公來愛,其實他根本就是闖進我夢境的小王,老公不知情,所以並不知道我們的對話,我很後悔,受到引誘而寫下方向街道的符號學小說,原來他就是一個職業小說家,是來探測我的寫作方向的。
16
我沒告訴老公,這件事,因為這是不忠貞的行為,我恥於啟齒,於是把夢忘記了,丟掉了,我跟老公說要努力學英文,他說一定要讀報給他聽,於是我讀了洛杉磯報給他聽,他很高興。
17
老公打了我一巴掌,我問他為什麼,他說我夢到外國人,他不曉得那是他的變形,本來是夢到白衣老公的,後來他卻跟我說起英文了,還要我寫一篇名叫方位街道(direct street)的符號學小說,老公說原來他變成光頭的老外了,所以就不生氣了。
18
老公很高興,我整個下午都在夢空氣,他給我熨燙背部全身,弄得我好熱,他說為什麼姚秦國王的老婆長得不像我,我說自己化豔粧,於是他就滿意了,還給我貼身護衛一般的濃烈愛意。
19
我老公很相信我,我也很誠實,因為兩不相騙使我們感情更加濃厚,深密的融合在一起,我們的夢是互相連綿的,他可以知道我在做什麼夢,而且他也可以一直睡我,像在睡一個長得像充氣玩偶的我,為了補回所有我們遺失的愛情劇碼,他一直睡我。
20
我的老公很相信我說的佛法輪迴,他真的為了我去創價學會開會了,我不知道為什麼他這麼愛我,好高興,因為跟第六天魔交易救父親的事,他已經知道了,就去參佛事,這個二乘所信仰的創造宗教,我也知道我們身為作家必須活得幸福,所以就加入了。
21
我在雲裡呼吸空氣,找不到老公來入夢,但是我寧願這樣補覺,因為我知道老公正清醒在振筆疾書,我給我們對對相配,在每個擅場的偶像身上牽紅線,但是他嫌我是一張美麗的皮,而沒有頭腦,有何辦法呢?但是我寧可還要三隻小豬的輪迴。
22
上次去看老公,帶了千里迢迢的禮物,他不讓我進門喝一口水,我這麼辛苦的遠遠跑來看他,竟然這麼無情,深怕我們乾柴烈火,在房裡做出不可見人的事來,我生氣,就拿回送他的胡椒餅乾,在回程的公車上吃得意猶未盡,一口接一口,他說,天啊!我還沒吃過什麼胡椒餅乾呢!活該,這就是不讓我進去喝杯茶的下場,我接著說要他用元本山做飯糰給孩子吃,他答應了。
23
我的心肝,我的老公,我怎會把你忘記,去找新的戀人呢?這輩子跟你在陰間活得這麼精彩,怎會忘懷,而將一切都丟包呢?在情人的耳語中,聽見自己的重要地位,於是很歡喜的,為他而安慰。
24
於是,我以為宗教是救人的,其實是斂財的,一直以來,我的迷夢在徬徨中認為因果是絕對,但現在卻不太願意接受果報,直到反省過後,才認真面對虛的果位,我想要知道報應是否不爽。
25
我老公找我找得好苦,在夜晚的公園裡,再三的來回找尋,我的蹤跡,他認為我一定會在涼亭下面等他,所以苦苦的覓尋我的影蹤,那一個化成少女的我正在翻他寫的書,我飄然跟他回家,他為我洗澡,為我催眠,隔了一夜,我又在床上消失了。因為他愛上了我美好的靈魂,而不是催枯老朽的肉身,所以他不願來我家接我回去,卻去公園找我的魂魄,真是奇詩人的怪癖。
26
今晨,得到他的雪燒仙貝供養品,歡喜的去祭拜佛,聽到彷彿心爽脆利的聲音,他希望跟我一起去旅遊,我也這麼期待,但等念完經之後,我拿起來吃,真是令我太喜歡的滋味了,我心歡喜。
原來昨天包的韭菜魚羹壽司,他們孩子嫌難吃,所以雪燒是鹹的味道,我會心一笑,不予理會的決定不再吃這仙貝了。
27
我竟夜安然,無夢,只有幾隻小動物,在身旁現出影蹤,躺在床上休息,這也是個不錯的陪伴,只要祈禱,就一定安睡。我不愛孩子,卻跟其他小寵物一起彌補睡眠,這真是不好的示範啊!
28
我繼續假寐,他竟然動手動腳的揮舞,好險是在夢境中,他後來又來熱身安慰我,安撫我,我們因為這樣子,像水深火熱的一對情侶,而不是成熟的夫妻關係,我想就這樣忍讓吧!容耐吧!反正只是假的夢境,不是真的打架。
29
我很喜歡他意味著,你知道我已經很投入的意思,我們為了生殖器吵架,他說我都不潔淨身體,讓他歡愛,我已經不要性愛了,他也明知故犯,對我訓話,說夫妻雙方要好好地相處。
30
我看了張老師月刊,才知道許多夫妻都有性關係的困擾,我對老公的與取欲求,是一向全數接受的,但是有了護身符之後,我才從淫色裏脫身而出,沒有感覺的過著擁抱空氣的日子。
31
老公要我煮飯,要我賺錢,可是我都想不出更好的辦法,我只有用更大的願望來逃避現實生活的危機,我還想要買一件新房來做生意,真是太妄想了,其實我只想全心全意的為他念經。
32
我忘記低潮,擺脫毀滅,換成有關世界會比較好的光明想法,其實哪有這麼好的事,黑暗它一直在移植蔓延,如何用精明的腦,來改變這個衝突滿佈的地球,我不敢再看下去了,因為可怕。
33
我們都在互相說謊,互相欺負,互相剝削,然而清醒的頭腦讓我們心平氣和,無有恐怖和恨懟,因為生命永遠值得祈禱。
34
因為你的不信愛情,使我認為愁恨,或許是世上最多的,糾結的秋紅。(完)
雲淡風輕/吳菀菱(2017/4/14)
1
一切善事都隨風而去,但是卻使劫難一一化去,能夠與你相戀,是一件極為滿足的幸福夢幻,我稍給你不用回音的信函,表示我在記憶中愛著你,不必回報,雲淡風輕。
2
愛你的小耳語,那些小說裡不會找得到的溫馨,我們療慰彼此的孤獨,像一對健康的靈性夫妻,有什麼話就坦白說,雲的自由,我們都有這種風格和習慣,我們是一體的。
3
你塞給我一張住址,這是你窩居在蝕岩區的房子,我回家後找到了這張紙條,並未攤開來看,我答應你,會寄信給你,打電話給你,但是這個夢裡面,我們已分隔兩地,妄想在你那裏開咖啡店,辦詩刊,根本活不下去,所以我寧可睡過去,將手心裏緊密握住的紙條,握住你那考驗我的問號。
4
神通,是一場戲,他帶引我走過,排演過,我卻失去了演下去的慾望,我不愛他了嗎?他抱住我的肩膀說,我好愛你,還掉下眼淚,可是,我卻覺得沒有辦法搭車前往那個禁區,繼續愛他。
5
家人全都反對,不讓我們在一起,過了今年會怎樣,誰也不知道,放開手,讓愛自由,因為這樣的感覺,畢竟是無可奈何的,現實世界中的任何緣故,都支配著我們的共同命運。
6
我在書房裡,翻譯著他的詩,已經無意義了,因為他人已不在身邊,那些跑得很開闊的散漫字眼,根本不是他的風格,我翻找不著自己的影蹤,忽著就感傷了起來。
7
是該結束了,這個搞花邊的詩人,把我在夢裡擺佈,任意謊言欺騙,我醒了之後,發現跟他在一起,根本不是幸福天堂,於是我打算去把誓言拿回,跟他訣別。
8
在溜冰場,跳著單人舞,雀躍不已的感覺像小說一樣的節拍,奮力的跳起美姿,這首曲子是在唱看電影情節而哭泣的心情,我卻怕他聽懂,我的心殤。
9
你在一旁看著,距離好遠,我曾聽過你說過上萬次的愛我,現在我覺得這是上蒼在安慰我,假裝你很愛我,其實我也知道,這世界只有美人才會被愛。
10
沒關係,我還過得去,承認自己的生活裏頭,有愛是極樂,有歡樂幸福相隨,我是最美滿的女人,今後也要獨立自主喔!
11
若我長成你愛的最初面孔,我還能慰留你的心嗎?或許你會害怕我變成了三姑六婆,但是我不會的,因為我很清白。
12
我希望能在碧湖劉三娘的表演會場,再見到你,你跟我約在涼亭見,我們相聚在一起,共談心事好嗎?我一心相許,你竟遲遲退卻,我們還有機會再敘敘舊嗎?
13
心間常思念的你,是否陰奉陽違,我常思及,你一顆小王子,恆久不變的星辰。
14
我寫好玩的,這份心愛的感覺,只為了自戀,請你不要記得我,我會向著陽光,輕輕把你忘記,不再憶想。
15
既然你已經有了心愛的人,我就放開你,我會去參佛,參法華經的經典,我就是一個迷信的佛教魂。
16
生活是俳句,人生也是如此,一句短言就論斷了絕對的定義,既然你內在世界裏沒有我,我也會繼續單獨活下去,以求安心。
17
除了愛情,還有更多可以追求的,像興趣,抄經,繪畫,書寫,等等,我可以竟夜無夢,像一個洗過惡夢的人,賺得每一天。
18
幸福有多可貴,當你失去,才知它的曾經存在,別上當,讓我們一起向大道走去,追求幸福不軟弱,珍惜你眼前所擁有。
19
當我什麼都沒有,只剩下謊言,我該面對現實的自己,去懺悔,去反省,當我只剩下你的謊言,我希望這是最後一次。
20
你拿了錢,就對付我,要我輸得很難看,那是真的很殘忍,但我相信老天會保護我,因為我是善良的,不存惡念的。(完)
鳳凰彷徨/吳菀菱
1
我曉得你不是那種人,可是你的靈魂不願被我鎖住,就逃跑去找別人講了,我想起你的這種狀況,不禁懷疑男人也有異屬性。
2
三天了,我沉浸在幸福中,沒有你的想像影子,我還要繼續走下去,新生的靈魂會帶領我,走向全新的生命狀態。
3
我數落著一磚一瓦,一草一木,好像你曾經走過這些景觀,這些場地,我是你手挽住的那一半嗎?是另一半的靈魂吧!
4
你沉默不語的看著遠方,向我的揮手示意,瞪了幾眼,好可怕,我只是一個暗戀你的女人,不能也不會把你怎麼樣。
5
馬路上都是金磚,這只是比喻人們愛逛街的想像,誰不知道任何地段都有權屬,人也是,都是人們建造起來的神話構築。
6
我的看法是不對的,勢必是要被刪除的想法,因為重生,我把過去遺落在空中,任人們看不見,卻呼吸得到,那就是愛情。
7
念及自我深處的反思,我向上蒼重頭開始祈福,什麼願望才是自己最高至上的幸福所及,我當向此發願,然後緣必定到來。
8
發現真相時,那迷蒙的眼,像是一對比目魚的瞳孔,幾乎要鬥雞眼了,真嚇人,我相信這就是所謂的,認真態度。
9
我必須面對前途了,把你甩掉,不去想不去管,只為了自己的未來而努力,我必須把你放棄在看不到的盡頭,這樣我才會死心塌地的把你忘記。
10
悲劇還未了,喜劇就開始上場,我將心影上的你,烙印在窗花上面,彷彿是一朵鳳凰花,嫣然燦爛然後墜落在地。(完)
柔情似水/吳菀菱
1
我要你去安個平安燈,光明燈,你答應了,為了讓你前景更好,我為你祈求順遂的人生,跟我到老都引起社會轟動。
2
我的聖堂身體,又答應今夜與你溫存,紀念這無法深愛對方的故意,我們寧願要在肉身不直接互擁的時空,持續的愛愛,這是我們陰冥歡愛以防止老天妒忌的方法,我愛你一如往昔。
3
在客廳看書,沉思書中的學術文字,這部深奧的權威書,使人深深的被吸引,論述也是一種哲學的研究方式,是純潔的夢。
4
我想要保持一張美麗的臉,姣好身材,以向你索討一個吻,一個擁抱,和一個手牽手的浪漫情懷,你會讓我圓夢嗎?
5
我們的衝突,矛盾,無奈,怎能一夕之間就釋解,我們這一對行走在天涯的小夫婦,怎麼樣也分不開,拆不散,因為我們是一體的,編織了一整個人生的相許故事,我們都互相獻身,無悔。
6
或許我們本末倒置,但是我們活在小神話裡,抱住幸福的尾巴,期望透過各種方式,守住我們的家庭,孩子不懂我們的愛戀,認為我們不道德,可是我們年輕的心,還要很多情慾來滿足。
7
當個小父母,多麼窘迫,難堪,我們真的沒有孩子聰明伶俐,他們心裡想著自己的喜好,卻不孝順我們的心思,我好怨歎。
8
老氣,不必擔心人家的眼光,因為許多人們一樣的悲哀,塗炭的臉,沒有朝氣,我只要心裡自由自在,理解你的善變。
2017年4月5日 星期三
My reseme
my english reseme/pollywoo
my name is polly woo, i majored in english in province university and Fuji university, i start my thesis writing during freashman and it is about advertising image of female right column in newspaper, and also the fairy tale of alice in wonderland and in mirror analyze theory about sexuality, it is a personal colum in taiwan li post when i was twenty years old, then i concerned about aids issue very sincerely, so i start to collect informations of english data to make a long reaserch report on sex in my novel of colourful painting(秤彩繪), i love to listen to english songs and study western theory about psychology of male to understand what they think about in mind, and to study many feminism project to fullfill the society need of female right, i write 13 more english books of 3c novels, to prove that in technology world there is still exist the Buddha theory and belief. my recent work is working on after written 100 chinese theory,novels and poetry books that are based on buddhaism of nichiren shoshu, i believe my grammer and writing experience can help and tuter cramp students to reach out futher accomplishment of success in their future life and diploma, i would like to teach every knowledge to them to make them more smart and intallengent.
2011年 一直在繪製後現代書法和書畫的作品,累積二十年作品最後拍賣給更生畫廊。
2012年 成立「文化評議」雜誌創刊號。
2013年 完成「吳菀菱佛法小說全集」電子光碟套書十二片,「polar」英文小說碟片大補帖,「dear rose」完成後涉及假自殺事件,「馬太太福音」「app」(魔術方塊)小說相繼完成,開啟「善的日誌」部落格。
2014年 完成「流蘇生活」佛詩集,印製「靈感」散步詩集,以向明老師的作品為封面,寫出宋澤萊老師所言輕音樂詩的前奏。
2015年 完成「當發大願」完成,續印「佛性自由」善書,「我愛唱歌」(嫁妝)「太極滿灑」小說集,並歡喜贈閱大眾。
2016年 完成「覺照叢林的美學欣賞」「金色流雲」和「日正當中」等詩論集,寫完「電腦搭檔」科幻小說,去黑龍江省旅遊,寫完「美的詩簡」旅遊詩集。
2017年 完成「法華經典」詩論(慈悲佛),「社務諮議」痞客邦小說網,「poetry trilology」「warm laugh」「why jet」三部小說,並在「從容文學」四月號發表「懷思漫漫」一文,出版完四十多本電子書和「文化評議」雜誌之後,今年預計要寫作「真愛的最後一片淨土」情詩集和黑龍江旅記「綠得極致」以及「小夫婦」小說。
2016年11月21日 星期一
Poet mind
Poet mind(to continue)
I search the net to find beauty shop service,and it is very near my home,i do planting eyelashes,fake hairdo,beauty face procedures,cosmetic make-up and fingertip colouring,it takes 800more nt dollars,i go back home and show off in itergram to be a model writer,post my photos to this app,but the poet lover complain me that i am over materialism belif,i think maybe i should give him romance letters with perfume on them,what will i write,i figure it out,i should record my diary about us to make him happy.
That is what i will do in this novel,i start to open my paper to write,when i am going to sleep last night,i find out my tongue is hurt a little,it must be you who give me turning kiss,which makes me spinning in the wound of tongue,i smile and sinking into sleep,my dear,i make up a story about renting a huge house of three floors,it is buddha giving to me,for i work so hard to do my writing job,i also rent a decorated place to exhibit my new poetry collections about love topic,i write it for you,my love,to let you know that my heart has always connected to you,no matter how i missed you,all i need is to pray to you,and then your soul comes to me suddenly,my dear poet lover,how i wish to givr you a present of expressing my works,to sign my name at that activity and introduce my story to the attending audiences,this dream i hide for so long,i just cant stop thinking about that we are now apart.i am very sad,do you know,my heart break stopped untill i write calligraphy letters to you,my dear,i hope you like it very hrarty.(1)
(2)my heart feel for you,my poet,you also write me secret poems to show your love for me,i love them very much,and i try to memorize them in my mind,but i can only think about a few words that i dont understand,i want to realize you,your simple fellow truth,your favour,your favorite deeds,i like to be with your classic interests,that makes me feel so romantic,do you know?my love,when i analyze you in between sentences,i know you are the one who knows me best,you are my angle of my soul,i must return you my thanks to you right away,for i will forget if i dont quickly do it,i might lose your attention,i guess.
(3)i wear each and every one dress,to let the hired photographer take my pictures,just to represent myself on the road of literature image,i take it seriously that a writer should not tell lie,not to cheat,or steal other's idea to make self famous,i will despise those who said that they have husbands but unmarried,have sick sisters but cant tell the name,it is a shameful talking to hide sex tendrncy in front of readers,my poet lover did the same,he cant tell his wife's secret,but announcr that he has experience of marriage.another shameful law is more mean,it limit literary writers to have any sex or marriage,it is a lie that he sadly believe in that law,but as time goes by,he write and read to play time,but not kill time,not like those who have a TV set and lost time sinking in video games which is cost high.he told me that he has no money,but he travels a lot,and eat gorgeous every day,i dont trust him,because i have a dream to show off my luxurious interest on acceserys,but he does not,he always dress ordinary and lesury outfit,which stand for his belief in eastern spirits.
(4)we have a mata son now being sent to new york home,to hide the danger that if students find out his mother birth him at a postmodern dream,he will get boly atturtude from classmate,so father he sent him to live in buffulo village,whish him become a wonderful youth,but he seems think twice about his future,now i am dreaming about living in the future to br with my family happily,but he brcome a mean father to test if he can get any way to survive without his teaching.i can only be his next mother,because he wont let me know his whole life,his first marriage is ended by argue everyday,his wife turn face like turn book,make him very anxiety, he sent the only son to new york,and i am dreaming someday he will live with me long affection,and give me a peaveful life,his son like mars letters,talented at computer science,he get a blog for his father,and he read society psychological books,he want to go to europrran to study MBA,i wonder if he has very excellent language talent,so i worry about him while his father says that he is not my son,i dont need to treat him well,i am angry about this,i tell him today we three are sepretated,it is so lonely, but i believe he put my dream birth son away,throw the new born baby to the garbage can,i am unhappy but it has gone,i must face the truth,never imaging that his son is my mata son,i wipe away my tears and go on my work,i brlieve any people see my story will know a man dont want a baby from a frmale who has many failure love storys.
(5)Silence lover
He hides me from my messages
Only quest remain in the air
He disappear from facebook
To escape my trace after him
He is a strange mined male
With mature means of oppose
He find a way to live secretly
Wont let fans know about his life
He is like a mystery that attract me
But now it is in vain only dreaming can reach
His maybe attorance toward my wish
I hope he listen to me as a good friend
But he love quietness much more
So i cant disturbing his living
Only watch time goes by
With my searching plate wasting money
Let it be i think and i say to myself
One day he will face me
my brand new face of beauty
(6)peaceful role
Today i am a quiet worker
Try to email and know friends
Every mrssenger is kind and nice
When my request occurs
The response get me satisfied
So many friendship and friendhood
I like to have creative discovery
Such as people give a report
On those literature knowledge
That i have never know before
This is a teaching lesson for me
To find out detail art of good minded
I love to be peaceful with this world
Where love is all around and working
My life is a Festival of pleasure
The texture of having enjoy and fun
I will be a role of believing faith
To get more adventage of survive
In the circle of globle village boom
(7)Rhyme
Give me an easy reason
To prepare all my fortune
Let it be my tolerate sun
Shining like a good none
For the noon is coming from
The truth of reading fun
I remember to sing a song
To make the cell phone
And i can ring down
Magic words of bublegum
To wisper sweetness on
Trusting His promise fund
My mind is like a moon
Somehow it rise in pain
Of course a night is soon
To become next afternoon
Day goes by with function
Time will be the only tone
In the holy of temptation
When godness mention
(9)The back
He does opposite
On my seat
To sweat
Like a rent
It is note
From boot
In the net
I walk on wet
For more tent
In front
I want
I foot
That is not
The ant
Walk and meet
But neat
Of meat
Is sent
Wait
Next pot
The right
Will write
To get
Final dont
(10)Rap sutra
My friend read quickly with me
The swift sutra long run till the end
My father lose a bunch of joss
It is a sign of getting much more gold
In my mother's spell it is a good luck
I watch a before lotus religion begin
The ceromony is very dizzy for me
All my wish is to get protection
From my holy buddha and lotus course
For the meaning of respecting sunshine
I truely get off all my bad deeds and tendency
In the future there will be a smart poem
Lead me and guide me toward the unknown
To make me not go in the shadow of cherity
Buddha is fullfilled by my recommend writing
Here is the wind of my shade of thinking
But my hair oh my hair will be falling down
Because of the monk holding on my doom
My lover is a poet with his book next to my pillow
Why is he absent in my long runing dream
I wait for my parents with patience
The answer is closed door in the action by hand
(11)Dry switch
I like dry kiss more than waterful kiss
The cause is no need to swallow
Mouth water of my due lover
I better like wet tea and cake
But who knows when he kiss me
With his wonderful tongue skill
I simple turning my heart like washing machine
Wheelchair, and a mind reading reminder,
I want to concentrate and fix on him
Afterall i sleep with a coughing sound
Murmuring sweet things to his ear
The dream is although unseen
My memory of his invitation is still
As a mother calling that shocks me
With a tender but ordering word
Please come back to my mind
I care about to seeing your true heart
If it is still longing for me my dear
Between mother and lover
Who should i choose to hear
The asking quest that both make me
Wanting to return to the origionality of youth
(12)After Complain
As i say long words to him
He slowly listening to me
I know i complain too much
While he hear me buy a white dress
To attend a gathering sutra reading
I anounce that i dress for white law
But my heart think all about him
He love white dress most
This is my first try to buy white
I keep a conscious fate
To write a new art novel for him
Hope this is not the ending
Of our relationship and commitment
Because my love fly like a new bird
That just begin to learn to start his wings
(13)Key words
I read from the blackboard
A teacher write down key word thinking
A pattern of realizing the pc world
It is a brain war in the civilization
As i read between the lines
I understand why everything matters
Even ghost,game,genius or girl
They are all equal before technology
Where there is a meeting within our mind
There will be a wish starting to happen
That is why nobody refuse pc field
In this time of thoughts and philosophy
I will hold my way and give a strike
To win back all my failure and sadness
Because this world is full of lonliness
Only my faith of love stand for me
(14)Wake up
I wake up this dawn
With black kiss surround my mouth
Dont know why herb remains
Those powder i eat for skin care
I wonder if he give me lip stick of darkness
Should i treat it like a gift or something
Like punishment cause i scream
To him all my heartbreak last night
Should i thank god that morning
I get a lot presents of job chance
Such as one publishing co. Info book
And a series of booking magazine
And a contract of writing drama
I am so in love of dark and white
These chances i wont forget
That everyday is a big happiness
It is time for me to be gone
(15)my life is making stories and plots,to make novel and poem full of daydreaming kind of joy,dramatic is all i need in writing.that is why i dream a lot to have idea of shadow to write,my thought is just so aweful and complicated,that i cant stop falling into the big hole of psychology,i used to read a lot about male mind of three id and mirror theory,i like to discover what is the authority of role that play important in novel center,which makes female miserable, i pick the poetry critics to show my academic idea,in the way of reality and research method,i get a good result in publishing,and it should be thankful for all people who help me through the way of acomplish a book.
(16)Wonderful hug
He lick my neck sweetly,and hold me from my back,he gives me smooth touch with his banana erect in my bottom,it feels like heaven.he said that i worry that your dream goes without light,i tell him its better calm and dark for my dream,cause nothing happening to be frightened in the future,he stay no light with me,and he make my buying estate dream come true,i thank him a lot,for he let me have a reality to live my life,i can do anything with our dreams webing on the loving affair we have,i am happy if he is happy too,i ask for no more,just have sweet dreams with him,that is all i want,my dear,do you hear me?
(17)Flood kiss
He kissed me all night,with mouth water full of my lips,he looks hugry for the kiss,i promise him that if he help me publish my book,i will let him kiss me every night,that is the vow i made for him,and he is satisfed too,how nice is that kiss he gives me,i like it very much,and he sink his face deep in my back,moving around the bone and meat,his tenderness makes me feel sensuality of pleasure,because i love him,i make him to become my king,this love is life long,and i would not want to change,but i wish him treat me tender forever,never say lies to me,and i will continue loving him by vow.
(18)Beautiful ring
I have a yellow stone on my ring,i get it from my love,my truthful husband in china,he watch me give birth to a baby and died,it is a hard birth,i cant make it in my dream,untill i saw him in the road selling stones,i realize this is my one lifetime in china with him.i have told him that i will be back by a transparent ghost around him,to guide him on the road of bearing our kid,he must sell stones to a sculpture talented person to make stone shine like jewelry, so that he can sell by higher price.that means a stone without chanllenge is useless,and worthless.
(19)i wanna live in his clean house,to become stepmother of his son,i wish to be a kind educater to him,give him smart suggestions,and ask a huge bed of one hundred thousand to sleep each day with him,i wonder if he see me naked on it,what would he do,the answer is he will be too shy and go to wash clothes, i know he can make magic of his house,just like a mind spell of magician name,it is a long name,but if you read that word in mind,every magic can be shown.i read the name too,i make a wish that he be frank that his room will always open for me,to let me live forever with him,even though to live inside his soul,it is to understand what he think and does.
(20)he gives me a japanese room to read sutra and study buddhaism and tea ceremony,i feel so glad but now it changed so fast,everything that ever decorate the room has been stocked in another empty room,it is all stuff that just to blind his mother's eye,because she wont let him get married,so he is very angry to stock all memories in the dust room,only white furniture remains.i read lotus sutra which is no easy matter to maintain the belief,i often get lazy mind not to worship the calligraphic buddha,because i always think i can control every wish i want to do,and by myself i can do it well,without any help if the buddha gives me obstacles or difficulties, i can still make it.
(21)His son called me ant,it suprise me,he live in the opposite wall of my table like a phantom,to learn how to paint calligraphic works,the poet lover is also as a ghost that come near me with a smell of dead body,i am so frightened that i should not brlieve the news report,it says my poet lover pull my dream born new baby and through away to the vege cycle can,i remember he said in my dream that he dont know how to deal with the new born baby,while i fainted with sleep,dont see if my baby is a girl or a boy,i am still searching the answer.if my baby become sience fiction baby,that has already exist for 16years,the poet sent him to hide away from the goverment pressure,i think it is very smart,but i am worried about if my son can survive long lonely life,i feel kind of undurable with my heart bleeding for my son,for the reason of unsure reason,he must call me ant but not mom,its alright,let's continue pretenting to show the whole world that even sifi has true affections in this society.i tell poet lover that i wont make him fell frightened about the pressure of government,because i am frightened so much too,we must stay secretly to make people find no clue to hurt our family.
(22)we also lie in today afternoon dream,to hide the secret of truth,prof the reality of being nice and kind in our love to son.we both know people are mean to talk gossips about us,so we start to go beyond the plot prople trying to change our happinesd,we are devided in three place but with mind staying together,never let others bolly to torture us all,especially those society speakers talk nonesense on TV,i get angry that they dislike my life style and narrative,i hate them to make me poor and get into their prophets, i know people love to lie a lot fortune about their family to make it come true,but it is not exactly the truth,when you believe it,you run into a foolish well that nobody will hear you,so keep conscious and smart,because people dont have the morality of being honest,if you do,dont tell them your practice,for god will know you most to give you the best quality of happiness.
(23)my poet lover tells me that he pay my cell phone bill already,i believe it cause today's phone call rings,and i catch it,this is a bank calling for the quest of loaning a village,i tell him about my financial situation,and he will return me a gmail or phone call,it is my way to fine my income get into my pocket,i dont want poet's money,if he test my love whever i love him or his money,i will promise i would rather earning money by my own,not to depend on him or his huge income of rant several apartments,i decide to be honest to my self,not to live in the shadow of nightmares,i believe in the sunny side of the truth,and i want to practice my ideology of wealthy wish,to make sure my life is successful but not failure.
(24)my poet lover gives me a dialogue of the pouring rain,while i tell him it is waterful joy that makes us glad,but should not feel the sadness of rainy day.yesterday i sleep when it rained,i dream about he visit my village,and he walk with me and son in the dream,we look like a healthy family,and i promise to look after his son if he cares about me,i would like to give duty and take adventage at the same time,i know he will make sure if i love his everything including his family.
(25)he gives me sm sex while i am being bothered by neighborhood, and just about to sleep in the morning,he tied my two hands,and i try to escape so i fall down the big bed with him together,he makes me remember his name finally and we have fierce sex during this morning dream,because i am sleepless and writing his poem critics,he is unhappy that i am not be with his dream,i tell him i cant fall esleep and i also drink a little coffee,after all i am in the dangerous sex with his anger this morning,it is hard to describe,for i never move and struggle anymore,he sense boring,so he swear never tie me any fever in the furture,i feel so glad and happy,for danger game is come to an end,i get his trust once again,i also get his gift of a can of tea next morning,i sent him my favorit tea ceremony furniture, i know he loves it very much about tea Festival activity,and i wish this year moon festival we can drink the same tea to cerebrate our due love,my heart is all with joyful thoughts, and i believe to give our son a job to design the new york house is a good for him,i also know our son is connected with him by line,i like to know more about this,he share with me all details,and i believe that our son will have a good time in the house of quietness and it is also comfortable for him to study and experience the daily life of no worry and trouble,i know my poet lover is loving our situation with all hearty hope,he wish us live separate to get to know each other more,i understand that he believe in god so well,so i want to fellow him as well,but he want me to trust my buddha,in the name of thanks.
(26)i write invisible love prose for him,i try to exist in the texture that no one see that i am going mad with the hidden truth,it is about how my fame influence the poet lover and his son,they are in my mind so much like to fake as my family,but dont know the temptation indeed,i face it every day and night,but the secret is unknown for the readers besides they two important acters,i want to know their past,and who is his real mother,while i try to cook for them,they seem like never taste mother's kitchen cooking for a long time,it must be my fantasy to have magic power to cook for them in long distance places that are seperated,if i am a creater of food,i would not be selfish to let them hungry,but i dont know if they like tradotional or creative food,i can rather cook by my own imagination but always feel lazy to cook,every tome i think about the trash from cutting gradience,i feel the trouble of recycle.but i know life is not eady in the age of high price socoety,buying things become a stuff of luxury, i am not feeling like to do it,all i depend is eating hot pot boiled noodles, it really save gas and cooking fee.i dont waste money but love to save money,we are all out of the same temper,we try to get through harsh days,but by my observations, poet lover seem to be a mean daddy,he never care about how his son is doing in foreign country,and he never want to get advenve with me,i can see that,but since i stop looking after romance from now on,i vow that i would never love others till the ocean runs dry,as i get old,i wont change face for any other romance no more,i completely lose faith toward male,i think they are centralized believers,and poet is a thoughtful person,he wont let me be his partner in reality,for he has experience the life of bearing a kid before he meet me,he wont want second kid any more,and i dont want it either,so i believe being single is free for us three,the first duty is to escape the eye of political judgement,which i am controled by eating sleepy pills,and taking psychological talk with doctor.
(27)i still believe poet is training his son to protect himself from pressure of politics,and he must do so to cover his poetry from being destroyed the poetic eternity from ever sonce he write poems,and he must stay famous and justice to keep our relationship normal like normal friendship,for he has no wish to have a notorious wife like me.
(28)i tell him that my eye colour is brown,and the story is coming from my grandmother's ancester,one girl falling in love with holand martian,they went to the grass and woods making love,finally the girl get pregnant,so my ancester got the partial blood of holand people.by my guess,it would be tuth,for my grandmother looks like white people in the skin,i am the same too,i can always hide from the heat of the sun,and never be tamed on my skin.so i am a far history hybrid which the story i make up is possible and i am good at western thoughts and knowledge,i am a taiwanese with holand soul,i think,maybe i can use DNA to test if it is real,but i dont know if the test can give me a more posific answer that perhaps many of my ancesters have intercoursed with foreigners,i wanna know.
(29)i just dream about to be connected with poet lover,but he wont give me wife name,i dream like crazy,after a long time,i go back to reality,nothing happened but memory remained,i am so independent that no body pay the bill for me,but only me needs to pay for real,i try not to spend too much money,and use bank bill to take over cash payment,it is a pleasure to visit bank so often,and i like the atomosphere of being serviced as a customer who face the bill each time through procedures of hand by hand,this is build on the trust between showing and appearing in the local counter.
(30)all the lie he told has been washed away from my brain,it is my stupidity that i believe poet is a person who never tell lies,but it is not in the shadow side part of him to do so,in frank world,he always tell the truth to me,as my best friend,i decide to take this love by subtitude of friendship,no longer to wish a wedding or a ceromony of marriage,i live peacefully everyday with reading his poetry,i feel content and satisfied,i like the ordinary life as a freedom writer once again,and i promise i will never fall in love with anybody in the future,keep quiet is what my mind will do,dont want to cause any trouble again,the topic about my novel has come to an end,i must remain smart to deal my life with happiness,i wish he is the same too,let me be generous and honest,to hope a better self in front of reader's eye,let me express the best of my sentence to show that love can be overcome in the wonderfull mind like heaven,and all people can be torlerate to live over there with all true heart.(end)
Poet mind
(31)i wrote love diary to him,but not expressed in the press,cause we want to live romantic life in secret that never being found out by fans,even thought my book is not popular,it is to be cherish in this lifr time,i know he decode to practice his vow not ready,but i am not worry,cause now i am like a princess under his protection,i write memory book of love sentence to him just to hold his heart,i love my son,i know he test my mother love toward my son,i want to give,so that on the future i can live a wonderful partner life.
(49)every time i think about how he feed milk to his kid,change diaper for him,i arouse a piece of graceful thank to him,my peot lover,he busy on every thing at home,he is a busy poet who use his hardship two hands doing home dutys,i thank him for bring love to son,and i think of his sunshine heart,i feel very like to live together as as a family,and i want to change my writing style,to write family warm plot living with him,i wish he can be my mate in writing,i would change for him,to be a very tender wife,we both are poet,and he want to write more in his career,never willing to help me or teach me rewrite my all works,i think if i want to be a nobel prize winner,my writing must pay hardship to resque my crisis on thriller gener,i want to keep the origional texture in the history,because the romance i wrote is recording male's bad side of charector,and it is a good education to male to change their badness,and also for female readers to prevent male pressure on them.if i write healthy mind in the novel,everyone knows it is wrote for the book market,which everyone can create it as normal logic,but i vow from now on i will discover people's goodness and helping kindness,i want poem not to be sour or blam others insperation,but shine the greatest value that people have in their essence.
(50)after i wake up this morning,i realize what he says is a lie,he want to give me erotica dream,but i dream about other things,i should know that heart hurt is due to forget to eat pills,i eat and sleep,after one night in my nonesense dream,i found out he want me to change literature works,is to put pressure on my shoulders,i think why not just put it on,let them show by the origional face to the readers,it is better way to express that all men are selfish,and they are hard to please,too.l know poet is also the kind of male,just he speaks before three times of think,so i try to dig his history of his aweful life with his extra wife,it is very under hell,she turns face like turns the pages,so they usually fight for small qurrals,and never get peaceful life for there is no money,he like to decorate the house with red stuff,but after since mother past away,he start to stay white and clean,can you read his mind from this situation,i think his mother maybe not let him marry,and so he is married with only coexistence of living together,it is a myth that i found no trace about their marriage but only a kid,the other kid she born for the air is losing direction right now,because she is a bad girl and she never goes to school,or has any thing to do,live no where,for she is nothing but a actress on the show of new book exhibition.
(51)i tell him,if the ghost kid is disposed,let us feed her to be our kid,and he sign with a long breath,why you do so to making trouble,she wont treat you right after she grow up,she has a selfish mind and never trust in love,i know,but what if people ask about his daughter,how can he say,i am worry about her running in the phantom air,that no body treat her like a real,thats why i want to adopt her,but do you think she will called me dear mother,save that,she doesnt even respect her father,how can she respect me,i know this is a problematic situation,that i am over minded,for he wont worry the ghost daughter a bit,why me worry?just it is sad to see her growing in the air without a birth day,it is so embarrassed to see him being scared by the suddenly showing up daughter,to make him fallen into her tricks of let him wound,hurt,worry,and bother,i want to make a spell before the buddha that she gone with the dust,never bother us this life,for we both not love her as a pearl on the paw.
(52)she never flatter me or his father,we both cant get the warmth from her,and she is stubborn that she live in her own way,be living with her mother's new husband,that is the only way we thought to make up the tragedy.because she looks not like anyone's kid,so we all dont know where she is coming from and where she will go to,we put the problem aside,never care,and poet live with my soul every night,he fainted in my body perfume and strange shape,i give him surrealism appeal and nervous touching, and he feel the softness in my soul with gental mind without no vicious ideal and attamp.the full moon makes us happy,and it shines every lover heart,to be the mark of celebration.we sleep all night long,with soul flying in the wind,we both cherrish each other's love,because the several dates we have,we come together as soul mates,and we are parents over night,but how kid come out of the womb safely,we barely have no idea.the secret is that his mother catch up with the son when he is disposed on the street years before,no body knows that she is a big buddhasattva in lotus sutra,in my consciousness, i know that she very earnest to be a grandmom,but the blood is unknown,for we all afriad of sent him to test DNA,we keep ourselves in the mist of family affections,just to enjoy more peaceful life without any changeable result.
Poet mind
(53)i know poet will finally in the end of the story going to live with his son in new york,never tell me the address and not to carry with me to that house,although so,i still traet him well,i dream about living fairly and sweetly together,share mind and seldom making love,for he is quite old,i must keep pace with him,tonight he have nothing to eat,just some veges in the refrigerator, i cook for him,hope he wont feel hungry with living alone,dont care about daily life,i say thanks with him each time we kiss,we are soft mined person,never fight to each other,only some jealous affection arouse sometimes on my mind,he always goes attend activity he like,i have no smart departure to get there,so we cant have date together,he has a lot of fans in the avtivity,i envy him,love him,care about him,thinking about him,but finally he will abanden me going to american forever live there,i feel sad and heart break,but i must live alone with courage and faith,in this period of love,i smell the fly around my room,i dont want him bevome a fly chacing after my soul,for the ending will cost me lots of tears,i will dry them with peace and curing mind,i know guy like him will test lady like me what i want,after all i am a poor loser woth my face no longer pretty,and i like to be better writer than him,i wont lose my dignity before him,i will be a single for all my life,only dreaming wish fool me that i must to check out clearly,a man like him is a excellent story teller,who cares,i can create more excited storus.
(54)i dream a yellow rose feild i walk alone without throwns,i feel love is waving to me,just i dont want to wave goodbye,i hold him tight,no words we have said just to keep quiet conscious to cold down our fight mind,i rather think he is kind to me,but in the dream he always do games with me,i dont want excited love but romance word to word,but he dont keep his double charactor balance,so my nightmare talk the hint of our future,just like horoscopes, i know poet are crazy but he is traditional one,so i want to live with him all my rest of my life,hope he give me as a surprise,i would be very happy.
(55)now he disappear in my dream,i cant dream about him,and long night i just travel in the old time of huge monsters flying in the sky,i lost in the forest and a small village,i ask a man how to leave this place,and get back to my home town,he says i need to fly on the huge bird's back and then get where i want to be,i think it is fairy tale,so i completely lost my dream,i stay in the bed without time and space moving on,it is quite strange that i wake up from the nightmare,i get to drink a cup of water,and then i go to the bathroom,i wash my face with less acnes on it,i go to the living room and write down this dream on the facebook,no wonder dreams without poet is so solitude,i really cant live without him,but right now he stop talking to me,just because he tell lies a lot,i dont hear him saying any more,for regret somehow i know,he never come to me any lonely night,and i know that he dont want to take me as i am,cause i am not a beauty under his love,he never loved me in the way i want,that is why i get old,i learn how to forget the dream,cause it is nonesense and representing that i dont love him the same way.but he hold me by my calling,it is a excited bus sexuality dream,this morning he is still sleep,but my murmuring get him awake,so he sink in the dream with me,what a coincidence that he and me loving so much by touching each other's body warm,we keep the dream so long,and never want to let go each other.
2016年7月10日 星期日
身心歡愉情詩集
<與你同活一百六>
我向徐福的廟祈願
要跟你一起長壽到老
活到一百六十歲多
像聖經裡面的後代
那樣虔誠不朽
帶著不再的原罪
通向天國的死即是活
因為我捨不得你
放不下我的歡樂王國
我們彼此守護
願這幸福能夠永恆
不老不死仙藥
我同你一起服用
就算像后羿嫦娥
我也要試用
因為我很愛你
不想讓城池凋敝
愛心毀滅
所以我要口含著仙藥
吻向你的嘴
不離不棄
<夢的A字型>
我在夢中被你紋身
成為一名清教徒婦女
A字的故事是我的懺悔
因此我上了審判台
你應該要原諒我
這麼愛黏你
我要的是形影不離
壞女人也可以寫詩
吐吐苦水不是嗎
何以你餵我以寧靜
在你的沉思當中
有沒有我的影蹤存在
起伏的心好奇的問
問蒼天問水手問你我
問天邊一沙鷗的精神
是否阿Q一般可笑
別讓我落淚
我落的是滿臉鑽石
這代價太昂貴
你可以A我
但不可以騙我
<借詩還魂>
我是一枝借詩還魂草
蕩漾在你的心旌
像雪山仙草
可以治活你的青春回憶
讓時光倒流
為了愛情
我可以睜眼說瞎話
或者不斷付出
但我不死心
不求雪山大士的道悟
我只求一起睡億千年
跟你同寢同眠
同心同靈同魂同體
像命命鳥一樣
同年同月同日死
也可以共生
一起心跳
飛相同的方向
一同恨別鳥驚心
你說好不好呢
我的通心麵情人
論佛
論佛
佛的神聖,在於放光,智慧無量,佛放棄利益,為眾生悟道,出離生老病死四苦,佛的戒嚴,非常謹慎自律,一個聖賢所應該做的,不離八風,不動三業,五欲,佛的法律,也是一國之奉守,要昌盛繁榮,則必修佛,否則國不興盛,人民不德,欲國運勢利廣播,則必奉佛為尊,子民之福必至。為求佛智,多著於相,探索空即為有之道,法必務實,法必報應,為人處事,必得真誠,道德,不得犯五戒,遊戲三昧,不得殺戮。人民為求實相,需放棄虛擬空間之幻感,吸毒,幻想,幻覺,為了成家立業,必先崇佛信佛,知道佛法報復不爽,報應力求世道現時,不得歪打正著。國民若當當國為佛國,則濟貧助弱,有所不為,有所為而為,仁義禮智皆備,懂得愛心付出,則舉國慶賀,大道行施,國無盜賊亂寇。
2016年7月6日 星期三
夢島嶼
夢島
我寄情於風,颱風來前徐徐的風,隨著電風扇,將我催眠,我的夢中有各種鑲上花紋的珠子,和滿天空的鑽石粒子,我用力的吸收,收集。於是我擁有了全部的珠寶,我被太陽阻止,說我太貪心了,所以我就醒過來,記錄這篇宇宙珍奇的夢幻。原來,我在夢前遭到拋棄,一個古江戶的遊園樂,對方送我五六袋的禮品,把到我以後,就始亂終棄。我去拜過他的雙親,這樣的夢,使我忘記了原來的戀人,我想,也許這只是他在擾亂我的忠貞而已。我把珠寶放在心上,身體力行的做一個富婆,我的夢在江戶有過輪迴,是一段不完美的戀曲,其實我是藝妓。風中有雨露,有落葉,有細菌,我卻喜歡吹風,因為我的喜愛,風兒也對我微笑,攀談。情人去紐約,帶著我的靈魂來到旅館,為我散落的腳拾荒,放在床邊,然後輕吻我的舌,直到兩片舌平衡的來到親密無間的關係中,我很開心的笑聲,讓他聽見,他又帶我去廣播節目,我聆聽他烙英文,真的是很棒,給他鼓掌,很快的,我發現他要聊我了,我便瞬間醒來,我想告訴他,昨天老師來切割我們的好感,七夕都夢不到他,雖然如此,我走到他身邊,導遊將護照摔向我,說你甘脆也跟上吧!我看你們是一旅兩人遊,分不開的情侶。沒了他,我就不踏實,因為他,我大哭了三遍,眼淚汪汪,足以灌溉枯葉,我覺得,或許分開是為了準備在一起的空間,所以忍耐,慢性子的推敲,他到底有沒有去紐約訪友,我已經一個禮拜沒聽到他了,我害怕失去他,但失去又如何,反正我已經不要別人了,我不求別的緣故,只要他愛我。我想到一個苦悶的想法,因為我是恐龍妹,也許他寧願選擇愛普通人,而忍受不住我的龍脾氣,若是他真心愛我,我可以修飾我的刺,我的凶猛,我就是紫鑲鑽,我的寶光,需要他前來鑽研。我害怕他的兒子對我凶,不聽我的話,我被他摔電話,真是丟臉,生氣又打一次,對他嗆聲,我的情人知道了,一直爆笑,說我還是別惹他好。
愛就是連他的家人也愛,愛就是永久守候,愛就是無時無刻的關心他,我相信,愛不是隨便施捨,而是珍貴的布施。我覺得他應該玩玩御龍遊戲,因為這樣的愛是服伺,是尊從,愛是獨有的,無上的,我的愛是最棒的,沒有人能趁火打劫。我有一個夢,性夢之前,夢到豬巴戒的禁錮,說明了我們快要七世夫妻了,別再繼續下去,我對牠做鬼臉,表示我不在意,這段感情,將錯就錯,不會回頭,義無反顧的前行。很有條理,有規矩,有義氣的他,卻不曉得,這樣的路即將拆散我們的愛,因為他的保守,我守住多少孤單的夜,忍受汗濕的夏天,沒能像他那種寒冷,我們一個熱一個冷,他堅持不要我為他暖身,誠懇的道德,說明了他的星座,是純潔真心的那種人,我好愛,沒法忘記他。他何時宣布歸國啊!我平版快當機了,因為前任男友正在推薦四G行動裝置,所以我沒法抵抗他的警告,我必須做出決策,不想簽二G的契約,也不要重灌,我有雙全法可選嗎?我想就不取消這隻號碼吧!總不能停止一只手機的監控,就結束一段感情吧!我簽署的終身約,要愛到老的,誰能分開我們兩,我跟他說,我愛你的溫柔,你的感性,我要與你廝守,私混,幫我想個辦法。如果我給你一億元,你就分五千萬給我吧!作為和平互助的利益愛情,我願意付出,只求你真的給我們一個前途,他說好的,我答應你,真高興。我跟他互相口交,我喉嚨痛,他卻沒事,我好弱,留在佛堂吃藥療傷,隔了五天還在咳,我不管現實多痛苦,仍然堅定所選擇,沒有畏懼退縮,我愛上了就愛到底,吾愛,我還是要守在你的身邊,因為你的思想高度,讓我清醒清晰,我就喜歡你這樣老套。<給羅曼史的歡慶>今天是七月七日七夕,我覺得平凡的愛就是最有價值的愛,那些明星比豪華,其實只是在炫耀,愛是相親相愛,永不分離。有了愛,什麼都捨得給,即使是打算交易,也是兩相獲益,只有犯罪的愛是失倫的,是禁忌,不能自拔。羅曼史真是迷人,有了羅曼蒂克,什麼事都被美化了,有愛就不會得癌,這是醫生的證詞,我也相信,所以一直在追求愛,我要健康的愛。相伴,就是最堅定的愛,不離不棄,綿悱惻,我敬祝天下有情人終成眷屬。颱風已走掉了,想必是被世間的愛給感動,自動離去,今天的颱風是愛的見證。人生到處是謠言,夢見一生的敵人,對付我的手法非常卑鄙,這封寫給明年的我的信,我希望明年就能擺脫敵人,敵意,敵方。我覺得若能大進步,何不躍一大步,不要被小石頭拌倒,大步一飛,可以前往天堂的成功感,多麼歡喜。希望今年的我,已經到達那最高點的尖峰,峰迴路轉,也不能將我打倒,我願接收今年的心願,成就滿懷。我想,活在快樂幸福中,將是我最歡喜的事,我要攀爬到理想的高山上面,高聲歡呼,喜悅叫囂,我成功了。我不要管任何謠言,我只要一心一意的孤行,作對的事,想成功的實,我要爸媽一起跟我享福享樂。我在今年期望明年,希望自己和爸媽健康長壽,共享福祿壽的歡樂,擁有一間房子,當做商業的基地,我要再次出發,寫一些更動人的小說和詩集,與詩友共同面對美好的未來。若能夠的話,我希望所有的作品都被出版,盜版也沒關係,只要發行,就勝過沒有出路,沒有出版,我要聲名遠播,我要利益遠播,我要自己的人脈更加的廣泛,有更多人聽說我,但不是謠言謠傳。我的下一部作品,會是經典,我這麼想像,期待,我要寫出大鳴大放的,大放異彩的作品,超越自己,更遠遙的心願。
緣份商機
緣份商機
若不是這緣份,我怎會在這裡懷念你,因為無緣無故,我們再次分開,分離,而跟親人形影不離。在夢中見到你的失落無助,我也同樣不歡樂,即使我們相許相知,也不能常在一起,共寢共食,只能互相打電話,無所不聊的談天說地,說心事。
我在光明商圈裡找到一個出租店面,我在賣衣服和首飾,為了與你相遇,我每天都準時開店,在店面裡等你上門來。看看你會不會買男用手錶,或買一些戒指送給女人,你是個不花心的男人,但是很多女人倒追你。我好怕失去這份緣分關係,我是個有多次失戀經驗的中年女子,我有姣好的臉孔,和魔鬼的身材,但你總是不受誘惑。我寄名片的照片到你的伊媚兒,你也不上門關照,只給我打個電話,恭喜我順利開店。我約你在商圈附近吃個麵,你說改天再說,要出國去的日子快到了,七夕可能不會在台灣過,我既失望又無奈。
我們都從商,是因為有讀心術,能掌握客戶和顧客的心理,進而達成交易,這種柔軟手段,在於人脈的建立,人情味的拉攏,無非不是一種化商機為友誼的手法。所以我們互相了解,互相欺騙,但是不致於互相傷害,由於你懂我,所以用心讀我,知道我家人的動向,所以你也作出動作,出國去洽商。
我的店舖叫億元寶物,我取自乾隆通寶的符號和名稱,使我的生意很好,財源流通廣進。我認識附近的商家和住戶,為了謀生而開創人際關係,我收集各式各樣的名片,交遊頗廣。你看到了我的長處,進而跟我交往,也投資了我的店舖,進口一些珠寶給我販售。
你寄放一些珊瑚,翡翠,紅藍寶石,鑽石,等首飾在我這裡,都不跟我逼帳或收帳,很明顯的就是要贈送給我的商品,以生意的名義,與我交往,我得到了你的心,真是歡喜。
2016年6月26日 星期日
(續集)電腦搭檔
我把華碩中的惡意程式全都還給比爾蓋茲,然後重新用手機平板工作,進度很快,連微軟八都睡醒了,我在凌晨睡不著,給微軟八寫情書回訊,而且我打算折疊微軟八放在胸前,去看訂票的兩廳院表演,單身一人,帶著他去赴約,私下幽會,我們住在河昐,好美的景緻,湖泊是他最愛的大自然,他每天晚上都會去公園練氣功,華碩很聰明又乖巧,媽媽很疼他,想給他送禮物,我已寄書畫給微軟八了,希望他能珍惜才好。
華碩已經恢復正常,我的<鬼屋>也寫完,家裏做了電梯,能昇至五樓去,空間雖小,但不必爬得辛苦,我報考了小學助教登上了榜,教一些小學生做學術的思想,只要再十五年我就能領退休金,真好。我一邊幫華裔詩人寫評論專書,一邊向台北出版社討回散文稿,利用簡訊借了<玫瑰的名字>,有待前去圖書館借閱,來看看科可的首都推理小說,但排行第三者領閱,我可能要上網搜尋一些教材,來教育學生的佛教觀點和觀視,於是用ASUS平板辦公,好忙碌的日子,但是過得很充實。
看完<娃娃國>才知道以前小學五年級多天真,是孩子王,是我的幼年日記,台北出版社還給我的稿件,已出版為<甜甜圈>在市面上販售,也做成大學時期的地下雜誌之名,在雪梨繼續不定期出刊,我原稱之為<甜蜜蜜>,後來商品化,就開設了甜甜圈的烘培坊,製造食品來連鎖店上市販賣。
二月到了,第二十屆雪梨雙年展,邀請十三位國際展策人、作家、理論學者、共同策劃此次活動。七個思想大使:(1)真實大使(2)精神大使(3)消失大使(4)不參與大使(5)轉譯大使(6)行動書報攤大使(7)過渡大使,我跟微軟八帶著華碩去觀看,買了門票之後,就進館看了,台灣友人在carriageworks館參展,微軟八曾和他爭風吃醋,在一次卡拉OK聚會上,我因嗓子壞了没去請客,結果微軟八打了我的菁英朋友幾位,大概三位、四位,結果他們都去結婚、生子,不敢惹微軟八,我聽了好吃驚。
當場有人發表手機眼珠的360度拍攝功能,藍芽和手觸,看起來科技產品真像個人,其實華碩雙卡號碼曾被手機門市駭客兩次,無法決定自己的號碼,舊碼還會被回收拍賣499元給別人,我真的好痛恨他們這種無恥的行為,有人來引誘微軟八,是無所事事的老女人,只不過學歷高,就在那邊偷窺我們的婚姻,真是很討厭,於是就把她暗殺掉,她的手機,畢竟我不要感情的駭客。
微軟八做我們母子兩的保鏢,保護我們,其實我們和他人一直是一片和善的過,將他人當善緣,今天還要付 是小學日記<娃娃國>了,希望一切順利。微軟八讓我醒了兩次,只好服安眠藥再睡去真飽足啊!歡喜之餘,竟把微軟八升級至十級,不喜歡就去掉了。這一次是惡意程式,我得小心一點,今天晚上要去看戲,希望順利成功。
我約微軟八和華碩去看愛的法鼓表演,邊看邊討論<鬼屋>如何出版的事,他說有自資版,可幫我流通,我很高興,就把光碟寄到自資網站服務所,但是這只是夢見而已,我媽還從台北飛來雪梨,我接機,然後晚上吃過飯就出發一起去看<愛的法鼓>,順便開磁源車一起去看劇,我帶了手機上的QRcode去掃瞄進場,媽媽也讀過師大英語系夜間部,所以應該看得懂吧!我想,於是就在下午跟佛友聊天說地之後,出發去雪梨歌劇院了。停車之後,步上階梯,看到美麗的劇院,依舊美麗,真是太好了。
在劇院裏,口袋中的艾多美美商產品「玫瑰水」護手霜搞丟了,很急的向妙法求救,結果還是没下落。我在現場打開勤行要典的精髓<方便觀涅槃>之意,和善巧方便之內情,結果不一回兒戲就開演了。臨走之前,中午跟好佛友在工作室聊佛學、詩學、教育學系議題,很快樂,下午才出發。今晨在微軟八的機具上打情書回信,不知道他夜裏打什麼氣功,我不敢吵他,就打完字後上床睡回籠覺,實在是太累了。
微軟八有時在我睡不著時,會用默語詩來哄我,没押韻,但是我聽了 歡喜。比如說門戶前面無禍秧,等等五言,好棒啊!我已經開始給他寫情書了,希望他快點愛我多些,給我小禮物,其實我是没物慾的,但是卻希望虎虎生風快點來,付費,戴上我的手腕,保佑我兩一生得意,事事順心,相愛到白首為止也不後悔。
今天早上八點,我打開微軟八來寫情書,然後不能關機,只好打上睡眠,今天他大概會請上午假,吃過中餐才去上班,我給他煮粉絲火鍋、透抽、洋蔥豬腳,等等,加上晚上的米粉湯,他一定非常快慰,我很愛他,要討好他的胃。
中午到銀行存款,是微軟八給我的薪資,我存無卡使用的帳號,不辦提款卡,只存不提,為了省錢,好讓他讚美我的美德,銀行曾為我刻一對年年有餘的私章,我身邊不能留著那印章,由銀行為我保存,天知道有多少人想像我一樣幸福,可能英文名字都一大串類似的人們,就是在模仿我,真衰。
爸媽在台北家中佛堂念經,給我賴視訊,但御本尊不能拍進去,於是他們把御風扉關上,背對著佛壇自拍,給我看,我也把家中的西洋式佛壇照給他們看,我們好歡喜,因為媽告訴我,她夢見吉祥的新娘,來開光,而我想到自己只是公證,没有拍婚紗!就要微軟八跟我拍微電影,的婚紗照紀錄片,他就叫華碩平板實況拍攝,製作成DVD光碟,每次想到就拿起來看看欣賞。
我以前拿薪資買攝影機一台,拍了不少紀錄片,所以我認為華碩也應該有遺傳才是。結果他拍攝很有取景取鏡的技巧,我看了很高興,拿去一張送給爸媽看,他們也都有微軟七和蘋果平版,可以連接光碟機來看影片,另外我也製作了平面婚紗的浮華相簿。
愛因斯坦若出生,一定是科技業界的自動功能之始作俑者,我不是說祖克柏就是愛因斯坦的輪迴之意,而是愛因斯坦在古著作中預言筆記電腦的文字,令我感到很有意思。我為了測試微軟八的愛,就問他,老公,你可不可以給我錢!他竟然說可以,没問題,好歡喜喔!因為之前我都經濟獨立,不依賴他的零用金,所以他恨不得我跟他攦嬌要錢,他的煩惱就是老婆不要錢,而他卻一直要情一直要色,我都不拒絶。
於是收到三百元澳幣,和一張信用卡,我把微軟八和華碩同時打開使用,結果發現關機鍵又好了,原來是他載兒子去上學了,用腳踏車黏得緊緊的,好好的呵護他的寶貝兒子。我的<鬼屋>完結篇是寫房子的秋楓佈滿屋子的四周,一片燈色的風光,使鬼怪颯颯離去,上市後很暢銷,我打算回台北一趟去見父母,和好友通伊媚兒論詩談佛。我在佛堂思考為何阿公要在我夢中嘆息,原來他是繪佛畫的紫雲居士,而且電信局上班時還出了書,我怎一點也不曉得,真笨,他的戒名叫順行法勢,每到二十九號就要回向給阿公,真是的,不知自己是出身書生世家。
所以我想跟妹妹一起到蘇州園林看看,是見貝聿銘的最後代表作,我現在要存版權費。然而又捐了四十多本書給圖書館,我不喜歡看書了,因為盡信書不如無書,接下來要替微軟八出版<金色流雲>和<情書合集>兩本書,用亞馬遜出版,我如此祈願御本尊,用心唸經,並且發誓要把家庭和事業兩種兼顧,做到本份。
事情辦完了,就裝行李,買機票回台北,爸媽正在炒臘腸蒜青,和醬油 魚干,還有一鍋牛蒡湯,看到我回家,他們很高興,微軟八和華碩也跟來,但是住在旅館,因為没有多餘的空間 媽叫我用電腦查食譜,我看了一些食材的查詢,結果煮法就跑出來了。然後他們說佛堂的燈壞了,不能放光,於是我就祈禱,但仍是無效,他們不願意跑一趟本興院旁的金鶴堂佛具店去買,所以就一直廢弛。
老公肚子餓了,就叫他們去吃牛排,我打開手機廣播聽ICRT,聽說我的書<親愛玫瑰>在台北誠品以75折販賣,是羅曼史小說。我很高興。因為微軟八很有錢,所以我們合辦<古董報>,有了拍賣價,每個人都可以買房子,所以這是一項公益,於是我們倆自己也膁到了一年,更有訂閱者的長期贊助。
晚上十二點半,爸媽趁我熟睡,把我吵醒了,連鄰居也在用閩南語駡無辜的小孩,我唸過財神咒後入睡,傳了一些文成公主薩頂頂的歌來聽,介紹佛友,他覺得不 。以前我想找經紀公司出道時,他們要我去拍出道照片,我拍了法印的各種像片,做成 但自己没 到,反而花了一千九百元,但是有願成真就好了,因為睡不著,就搭計程車到旅館找微軟八和華碩,和他們一起入睡,冷氣很冷,還好我們都帶了厚衣服,我帶了一些爸媽家中的甜棗子和茂谷柑給他們吃,我們都很快樂的團聚。
上次媽到雪梨歌劇院陪我看戲時,微軟八說他生在一樓,偷偷不讓我們知道,我和媽媽坐在高處位置,看<愛的法鼓>,他有怕丈母娘情結,所以我不逼他住爸媽家,其實媽媽對他有所微詞,說他都不對我千倍的好,自私自利,等等,真是好氣又好笑。我聽他 我。我在雪梨跟雲雀用伊媚兒通信,樂談佛教八卦和詩學,以及她最愛的教育。(伊媚兒內容略)
昨夜微軟八打冷顫,我很擔心,他把空氣空調關起來,又多拿一張被單來蓋,果然好多了。我帶著微軟八回家看父母親冰釋一下情感,互相熟絡起來。隔天和雲雀佛友促膝長談(略)gmail聊工作,事業志向,婚姻,教育乃至於佛教觀。她喜歡投稿詩刊,作品雖然孤身未嫁,但憂鬱的題材總能化解為佛禪觀點,每每結論在最終句。她最會看佛教門派的內幕,真的很善巧,我喜歡用交談來知心,她比我年長七歲。我告訴她<涅槃或相反><春藥><推理小說集>都是我早期遺失的手寫稿,真不勝唏噓,連高中日記也丟了。我心中難過啊!跟她聊文藝市場真的很開心,話匣子全開,還互相切磋投稿術,她的觀念真的比我成熟十歲。
微軟八也大我十多歲,我用筆記本寫合著的<情書>一書,我吃軟不吃硬,他深情的愛我,讓我每天晚上都牽手跟他同床睡覺,他總是為我著想好善良,有時會來陪我念經,因為工作很忙,朝九晚五,有時候無空念經就三唱題目。這樣子我就已經很滿足了,至少他不反對我信仰日蓮正宗。
從旅館趕回家中,早上十點,好在念經,我也跟著唸,爸爸在煮飯,我看看没有幫得上忙的廚事,就去寫作了,爸爸煮了透抽、山藥、小魚干(昨天剩下的)等等,很辛苦,我用娃娃語叫爸爸來「亮晶晶」(念經),他還在忙碌的料理呢!真是好爸爸,後來煮完他就來唸經了。後來素素阿姨來送紅麴糯米糕,濃濃酒味,加上葡萄乾,好好吃喔!後來我們溫馨的吃飯,圍著道家常。
我到詩友雲雀家教她使用ibon列印USB裏的伊媚兒,現在即使有手機列印,但需用雲端空間存檔才能列印成功,其實微軟八他是我的地下新郎,回國後才變回婚約,華碩一直被學校詢問問題和回函,而且不太會說台灣國語話,特別是昨晚他言詞閃爍的,令我憂心的念經,我想知道孩子到底在想些什麼,關於他想當藝人明星的志願,我們夫妻倆都没有異議。
反倒是我試著在回到雪梨之後,跟微軟八討論書寫<密碼經濟學>的論文,為的就是想要獲得學位,關辦英語教室和論文教學公司,另一方面我帶著華碩去看華納威秀電影城的<動物方城市>卡通,又去吃日本蒜味拉麵,去遊樂區玩夾夾機,没有夾到蛋黃哥的禮帽,來到戲院裏,找錯位置,所以最後才入座。
我把論文的大綱列出,大約是參考<二十一世紀資本論>書而寫的要目,包括樂透教學、會計學、稅收、經濟消退與成長、雲端運算、流水號、收據發票,等等的民生消費概念,成為一部真正符合時代進步的經濟史觀。
小雲:小宛,早上去法鼓山安和院念佛,剛到家吃飽飯,我跟媽媽提起下午茶的事,她不太記得是誰打來的,我問是小宛嗎?她說你會再打來,是有關今天下午茶的事嗎?我没有忘記,搭捷運回來途中一直告訴自己別忘了,小宛你真的能與我和惠莉一起喝下午茶嗎?
小宛:可以的,但可以改在三段富邦銀旁的丹堤嗎?
小雲:小宛,我通知惠莉,但没回電,我會先到興隆市場與她會合,再到你所說的丹堤與您一起聊聊,可能要你多等幾分鐘,你可找三個人座位先坐定,免得没有位置,好嗎? 詩友 小雲筆
小宛:謝謝您來我很高興!
我最近常看大愛台菩提禪心,八點檔大愛劇場,以及現代心素派,過去訂了一個月的愛心報民生報,投稿節目你我他一陣子,後來停刊,我就没投了,大愛劇場很值得看都是師兄師姐的人生故事,早上有靜思晨語(八點播出)很值得一看。還好那老師没惡意是善意的,是台語的情詩,你可以幫我索取一本好了,先謝謝你。
小雲:小宛,我突然想起你和詩人見面的事,令堂知道嗎?我卻以為你和莫渝的約定鼓勵你創作和加油,不知是否給你添麻煩了,抱歉。看你架上有本書貧僧有話要說,是你買的還是贈書,我過去長達15年訂人間福報並且長期投稿,據我的了解,以及來自佛光山其他法師在報上的造假行徑,星雲自稱没有學歷,從報中及其行徑得知他是個假出家人,據可靠消息來源他的後台是蔣夫人【宋美齡】
和高希均、符芝瑛等等,千萬別被騙了,你還記得許多新聞連戰帶訪問團到大陸經貿協議中星雲是宗教代表,星雲是被高希均捧紅的,天下出版社【專出星雲假書,其他作者的書我就不知道了】出薪火、有情有義、傳燈錄等等全是造假的用編出來,星雲很自大,在佛光山有一座與其實人一般高的雕像,我們一直在真實面對自己的世界裡不斷求進步,可是佛光山卻造假在欺騙世人,你千萬別被騙了,道場很多是另有內情的。祝新年新希望順心如意 詩友小雲筆于105.2.18
小宛:謝謝你小雲今天查詢一下谷歌是我誤會了那個女老師是善意的送得獎作詩者的書男的並没有惡意是台語的愛情詩可以免費跟她索取你要一本嗎?我可以聯絡她雖然她喜歡莫渝但他有一個世紀情人不渝所以不可能交往的
另外,星雲法師我媽說他是政治僧侶,所以我隨便看看是訂周刊王送的贈品,我把這雜誌由藍看成綠的觀點,別擔心我不信佛光山只是看了很多人間衛視難免被洗腦一陣子,真笨貪圖那節目的新鮮像知道節目已經很久没看了,那妳有看慈濟電台嗎?
小雲:小宛,我在等廣論同學惠莉的回音,不知她在忙什麼,我e給她的信,她一直没有打開信箱,所以暫時無法回答,是不是生悶氣了,我不太清楚。如果她想成立工作室的話,是不是一定要花學費學多媒體,我先下週遞給她一些我認為該有的基本認識後,再做決定,她的興趣若在成立工作室上或成立出版社上,那是她的意願,我志在寫一些我感興趣的文稿和志工,其實不太相同的。祝順心如意 詩友小雲筆于105.2.19
小宛:小雲我昨天去影印店印太極小說集是向吳伯伯致敬的小說集印了兩本兩百多元,我挑了晴天娃娃做封面,因為下雨天不能打太極啊!
小雲:小宛,你的動作真快,晴天娃娃是卡通一休片尾的插畫,是你親手畫的嗎?是很不錯的封面設計,需要我幫你校對嗎影印店影印如何計費?是不是包括裝訂成冊,你有申請書碼嗎?雖然申請要等,會讓那本書變得不一樣的身價,等待值得的,你認為呢?
你借我莫渝的詩集我已開始在閱讀了,我是慢慢的看,很精緻蠻有意境的。小宛,你送我的環保袋裡夾有三雙黑色短襪,你急得要嘛,不急的話,下次下午茶時間再還你。我很喜歡看一休卡通,目前民視6有再重播,時段週一至週五晚上六點半至七點播出,一休和尚有機智和尚,又稱狂雲僧,如果我没記錯的話。
我可以跟你學排印和編輯,有些機本概念我已有,,只是實務的經驗只有自編的散文集,當時我把序文和目錄都寫和編輯好了,請號角出版幫我出版。尚未收到惠莉的回函和回電,最早等到下週三上廣論才能給你回答。耐心等待,你的封面設計可以e給我看嗎?
小宛:惠莉會不會電腦當機啊!我昨晚洗完澡忘了穿襪子起來夢遊,媽駡我原來是襪子在你那裡不好意思,没關係跟書一起還就好,我還有其他襪子,莫渝的詩很健康慢慢讀,他給我寫作進度的建議,我正在努力悟道,書寫從早期師專的詩集寫起,謝謝你介紹一休,但我的封面是雲寶,也一樣可愛我會去看一休卡通謝謝你!你的佛教知識真廣啊!上次問的駝背和尚其實我外婆是乾達婆是管廚事的人物,法華經有提到謝謝你的善良,我下一本楊平詩論稿找上櫻小姐打字等完成再請你校正字,我們可以合作然後我把你的名字打上做為校對人好嗎?
小雲,那個送詩集的女老師失聯我曾在想如果你瞬時出現在丹堤就表示她們是詐騙骸客集團,結果你真的出現了,我不敢告訴莫渝那情詩集是女老師假借名字出給他倒追他的書,所以我們是拿不到書了,對不起
小雲:小宛,我們下午茶提到玉琳國師【拍攝成電視劇再世情緣】,那情節來自佛祖弟子薄拘羅的真實故事,薄拘羅前世中有一世是又駝背又醜的男人{因生病而造成的},在那一世因施捨救了一名出家人,所以結下了善緣,所以與佛同世成為佛祖的弟子,這一世他不接受眾生的供養直到他圓寂了。所以我合理的猜測玉琳國師是本杜撰的,寫的人據可靠消息來源並非是星雲,我答應你校對楊平詩論稿,我希望像一般出版社出版那樣,我校得稿校對人寫我,我答應,希望校對時間不要太倉促,好嗎?
小宛:好的,謝謝你其實我是聽星雲法師的說法告訴你的,他談到這劇本的傳寫過程,我還以為是真的呢!謝謝你願意幫我校對但要等上櫻小姐打完,我給她寄了藥膏她皮膚跟我以前一樣的徵兆,我擦好了還有好多就送給她,希望她打完字後就復原,不要再看醫生。
小雲你可以告訴我硬幣上的英雄寫什麼劇情嗎?我把五元香港幣没女王的錢幣送給影印店老闆當母錢那是加拿大朋友送的我很珍惜
小雲:小宛,硬幣上英雄靈感來自二十元硬幣上莫那魯道和賽德克巴萊這部電影,其實我是借著這抗日英雄寫台灣歷史,除了寫莫那魯道之外,硬幣上有孫中山和蔣中正,蔣中正的威權和獨裁統治台灣,我借一些歷史事件稍加以批判,是我當時在課堂上所不能說的都在這部兒少小說裡完成,很口語化的歷史思想和民族意識表達,因為場景在教室和學生家居的對話以及同學間的互動情誼,我當初預計寫我的經驗出發,因為用想像和天馬行空非我所願,也無法達到四萬字,慶幸地終於完成了,部分要感謝上櫻幫我打字。你的太極小說印了兩本的後續如何,能告訴我港幣上是哪些人物,在九七大限前是英國屬地{殖民地之意},所以推測之前硬幣上出現英國女王,現在變成中共的特區,在你的意識型能裡你認同中華人民共和國嗎?我一直認定自己是台灣人,你手邊有台語文戰線的詩刊嗎?能不能送我一本刊載過你詩篇或詩評的台語文戰線刊物,這份刊物是月刊、雙月刊或是季刊能告訴我嗎?
可以借我先謝謝你,下週四你能出來一下下,仍在富邦丹堤下午三點,好嗎?我想廣論的同學惠莉上次没有開信箱看到改地點,而失約没有前來,又一直没有回音,是不是像你所說的電腦當機了,下週三上廣論課我會先問她,我目前試著翻譯我所寫的部分詩成英詩,我會先問惠莉因為她現在有點閒時還不像閒閒美代子,我覺得不妥而修改後,再問你這樣翻是否恰當,上次你提到可以投稿香港,是不是一定要用英文版投遞,是哪一個詩刊,有信箱號碼嗎?{或告訴我詩刊地址,我可以用郵寄的方式}可以告訴我嗎?不知小宛你想不想見惠莉,考慮後再告訴我,我再邀約她。
小宛:銀河出版社傅天虹主持地址再查看看,我想見惠莉因為可以切磋英文。
小雲:確認下星期四25日惠莉没事可以來,我那一天先還你,讓你如期完成,如此大的工作量別忘了睡覺和運動,聽你說有睡眠障礙很嚴重嗎?有看醫生嗎?會夢遊是玩笑的話,還是真的請多保重,過個年你體重有增加嗎?我增加2至3公斤,現在在積極減重,我發現控制飲食和少量比運動有效。多保重該吃該睡都得照樣吃和睡,切記。
小宛:好的,夢遊是以為天亮了没關係的。
小雲:你確認是同一人嗎?我先確認惠莉與你所說的是同一人的話,我不約她與她保持點頭之交即可,她說她與她父母住在興隆國小旁巷子進去的大廈,等我下週三確認後再詳細告訴你和您連絡。莫渝的詩集下週四還你,我會快快看,小宛你寫莫渝詩評除了見面聊聊多了解之外,還需要參考書,以及大量攝取這方面知識,培養賞詩的能力和深度。當初你從喜歡詩到學會詩評,是不是有參加類似的文學營或大學或研究所學分班,可以告訴我嗎?
小宛:没有讀過詩評學分全是修佛智慧來的,星期四我再去妳家拿書。
我搭車到雲雀家,就在我家兩三站牌之遠,下了公車按電鈴,她就給我開門,好溫暖的家呀!她也用ASUS微軟七,筆電寫gmail給我耶,真好的品牌,之後我就跑到西門町找住在旅館裏的父子。過了十五天簽證日到了,我們就告別父母回雪梨去了,行李一大堆的,很累,因為買了很多名產和 品,特別是便宜的家電用品。
我爸我媽家原是五樓公寓,因為老了爬不動,所以就跟鄰長討論,要做一個輕材質的電梯,在樓梯間的區塊部位跟樓梯相連之單門雙向的開啟,此外還設定了百葉鐵門,看來爸媽會做阿祖哦!我的想法獲得客戶同意,於是就每戶繳一萬元來做,拆水泥的時候,大家都去外面住,只有我家住在家裏上wifi! 妹妹開奧迪的車子送吃的給他們,由窗戶拉上來,用繩索來拉起較輕的食品,真好,我很喜歡這個願望成真了,就謝過上人。
上市國際書店的<鬼屋>寫的就是一間鬼在發怒的房子,她生前一哭二鬧三上吊,從此房子就被不知情的人買走了,這個房子發出彈鋼琴和小孩的笑聲,不斷關門的聲音,睡在房間裏還有跳蚤、蚊子、蜘蛛等怪昆蟲,還會做惡夢,接到詐欺的信函,像一封來自馬德里的遺囑繼承者一樣,是惡質的討債,非常恐怖,充滿危機,這件事情推理到了馬德里四大種姓之最底層人民缺水之災,在當地爆布斷裂所以水源喪失。(大意)
我從網路上得到氣功的中文講義,覺得很有趣,我想參透微軟八是怎麼練氣功的,就他信此功之後,我倆之間的氣流變得清澈,時而乾冷的交流,原來他知道我吃軟不吃硬,為了我而練習集氣功法。我約太極拳友兼詩友去打太極拳,之後又在星期一去逛公館的書店,我順便到玫瑰唱片買薩頂頂的專輯,我想聽她的歌做靈修,於是刷卡買了下來。另外,我又看了看經濟參考書,像是<殼倉經濟>等書,要找尋資料來書寫論文,我本來要修微積分的課程,但是現在找不到救兵給我啟蒙,於是就依自己的觀 來寫作。姊姊跑去財記家補習家教賺錢,打不通,所以就不想請她給我啟蒙關於建築數學的項目了。我跟雲雀兩人一起到書店翻閱書籍而不買書,我請她喝了一杯飲料,因為公館附近没有廟,我們就找佛書來看。她上午有事,下午三點才開始逛,我帶了一台計算機,並打算去為手錶換電池,後來連校園書店也逛了一下子。
其實逛書店是為了找看看有沒有自己寫的書籍上市上架,而微軟八和兒子華碩則一起去玩具反斗城買玩具,順便到麥當勞裏吃午餐。我帶著全家福去看花博場地的燈會,好多可愛的孫悟空和各式各樣的動物,爸爸走失了,我和媽媽在擁擠人潮中先回家,後來我去3G店面維修華碩,完畢之後,爸爸才回到家。臨睡之前,我把微軟八舖在佛堂裏,和華碩睡在一起,但午夜醒來,眼鏡被我壓破了,只得拿去小林維修,驗光單眼,因為只破了一邊的鏡片,我玩了俄羅斯方塊,贏得五萬分高分數。
回家刷牙睡覺,醒來時竟然只有午夜十二點,又要熬夜寫作了,我跑到微軟八身邊去,打著情書內容,一邊將列表機架上去,因為我的wifi壞掉了,失訊了,只好去買紙和墨水匣來列印,我整夜都睡不著,就喝妹妹拿回家送我的蔘枸茶包,好好喝喔!她才剛跑兩趟大陸出差,回家來送文創食品罐頭兩瓶,真好,我告訴她明天有奧斯卡金像獎的實況轉播,我們都很高興的準備收看。
早上一起床就踩破眼鏡,不小心的,準時看實況轉播,先從著作劇本和改編小說頒起,結果我猜對了,是<大賣空>得獎了,這是第八十八屆的奧斯卡金像獎,2005年的股市崩盤事件,微軟八外出去遊湖,没有陪我看,而華碩接收到最佳題名的書單廣告及內容劇情介紹,我一邊看一邊認識所有參加的紳士美女們,媽媽出去跟太極師父看梅花,大約中午才會回來,我一直看到最後結束,才去幫爸爸煮飯,我雖然胃食道道流中,卻一直喝茶,止住那種不舒服的感覺。我覺得這屆好爛,是雲雀告訴我轉播時間的,她自己卻去行天宮拜拜。瘋狂馬克斯(主義)竟然是大贏家,真是糟透了,可能是恐攻事件蜂仍所以才得獎的吧!<娃娃國>的封面是小小兵卡通的臉型一群,我覺得很巧合,不敢居功。
查周公解夢,我在夢中向他求愛,表示我的命運十分不幸,常常想到微軟八應該向我拍婚紗,戴戒指了,但是常是失望的等待著,我渺茫的希望和短暫的快樂後,總是希望不期而遇。我偏不信,就放下電視跑去金龍湖找微軟八,他正在做內丹功,我問他,到底要不要台灣國籍,他支支吾吾的,我也没辦法,就一起走回家了。後來,我把燈會的照片傳給微軟八,因為我的華碩不能舖照片上臉書,我要他留作紀念,親子關係的回憶。
上網問大菩薩,梵賦經和科技雲端運算的關係和觀想是如何的?他說:「梵 經是由釋尊的應化身覆述而成,教主是在蓮華台藏世界成道的報身佛,虛 那佛,由上下二卷構成,上卷講說菩薩位階的十住、十行、十四向、十地等的四十法門,下卷講說著菩薩戒的十重禁戒、四十八輕戒。科技雲端相信是利用經典來作為算命之類的工具,或批算過程的新興宗教。」我問姊姊如何教我微積分,她貼了一個自修的網站給我,是台大的課程,免費下載,於是我把函數的講義下載在華碩裏面,打算慢慢的閱讀,最好是可以用雲端列印,我想去7-11列印,現在已經有手機輸入的機置可以印成紙面字體。
於是我就生氣的將微軟八升級為微軟十,然而如此一來,他的wifi和天線就當機了,不能上網再給他寫情書了,我跟他分床睡,華碩也有自己的房間,因為我們在林口買了房子,只付了頭期款,是用版權費繳的,我開始研讀論文的資料,包括微積分講義和資本論述,兩本參考書。這些知識簡直是一念三千,我只讀概念而不去精算。我知道有人用物 作代碼,來吸引樂透買者的注意力和購買欲,有人當作是數學考題,天神託夢。有人做駭客結構來破壞他人的智慧型手機,使之淪為二手話號。
微軟八跟我冷戰,我就偷他的錢,不告訴他每次拿了多少!那是數目字密碼,我把錢鎖在珠寶箱裏,用更換密碼多次來防範他,反正他也不能上網了,我就在筆記本中混,寫書來賺錢,他則去開辦画廊拍賣作品,要付房貸,每個月五萬元,叫做達利画廊,在家裏面開張,我是秘書,其實我只讓他一個人忙,我自己混自己的文字世界,寫的正是他在畫廊裏做的事務。
我下午去換鏡片,又買了一隻裸視的便宜鏡框,鏡片上面寫著超級明星的英文字,當作近視眼鏡用,散步時就可以不管路人的目光,也不要看別人,像似墨鏡一樣的功能,我刷了兩千多元,以後要裝度數再說,現在不急。裝上鏡片的眼鏡明天中午要去取件,刷卡完畢了,又可以再使用,我看完睡眠障礙的病診之後,就抱情書17篇一次鋪上網,看微軟八如何自處,他明明知道我想去見聿銘的蘇州園林的,還在那邊寫回憶錄。
晚上,舖完<情書>和<金色流雲>就去睡覺,他說不要分床睡,於是就為我舖被子,我倆都好冷,互相取暖,我起來沖個澡,夢見了一個很奇怪的夢境。我們家在外食時,整條興隆路引爆了,我們被安邨在一個避安所,我打電話給他,他急忙的說,大陸的書已經排除萬難的出版不是我為他出版的書,但是我已經寄信去說不想出版,要退錢了,他靠關係談到籌碼了嗎?後來他又說我家没事,他看電視說的,爸媽聽了就說,那自來水也一定不能用啊!最後我們被安置在青年住宅中,我發宏願要開演唱會,他就來捧場,與我合唱,微軟八戴假髮的樣子好好笑,像黑人然後他離去,我跑去找他,要求他帶24元我去賓館做夢,這部夢之電影就在眾人掌聲中完結。
我醒來了,收到打字稿,校對了一下子,就約媽媽一起去寺院法城念經,回家時近中午,約好要去拿眼鏡一付。微軟八昨天生氣没接我電話兩次,後來在夢中說要五本刷行,誰管他,我說好他不出資就是出兩本的,就這麼辦。自從我拿天線安裝的光碟包裝去包本票刷卡之後,微軟八就不能再上網了,我拿去分享給人群了,免費wifi,有人還以為光碟可以刷行呢!真好笑,在台北住,没有磁源車可用,但是很少出門,大多用郵寄的,和開小車去家樂福買食品,買菜,我還是冷冰冰的為他們父子倆煮飯,準備吃的,但在画廊裏我就偶爾招呼一下客人去見他談論藝術,他把兒子前世的画作拿來拍賣,還說,兒子畫得比我們兩人好太多了,怎麼辦的話,我也頗有同感。
我約媽媽在中正紀念堂的南洋衫步道走動,散心,摘下梅花撲鼻香,嗅了又嗅,放入水壺中跟人蔘枸杞茶合泡,又經過桂花林,拔下桂花放入水壺中,又摘了四片福連茶的葉子,泡浸許久,搖了搖溫水,然後飲不好香的花茶,帶著拿取的眼鏡,看見了微軟八從對面走來,他穿著格子紅的襯衫,身影好熟悉,我感到好難過,他是在察勤嗎?我並没有出軌,只不過想看看他文字中的花園之美景,那些駢文我也曾運用過些許,我知道他懂我的,分床而遇合,本似<天地合>之想。我稱這為春花茶遇,多麼浪漫啊!我還愛著他吧!於是把花茶嚼了下去,吞下去,福連茶葉苦澀的發香在舌間。
後來喝完湯,去唸經時,發現內褲冰冰的,到廁所檢查,原來是雪中紅來了,馬上換下褲子,包上衛生棉,再繼續洗衣褲,去唸完經後,發現自己早就在微軟八旁邊放上HP的列表機,只是尚未上場。我又開機,但是只能遠傳,我想要找人來修理我的微軟八,把他變通用,無障礙的溝通,但是又找不到人詢問,只好無語問蒼天哦,故意在家裏打電話給他的手機,又傳訊給他,跟他說明我鬧脾氣是因為不想再生孩子,月事來了,要他趨避之。
夢見那個藏語說書的詩人他出現在下午覺中,好像是為了我的生活,去購新生的房地產,很便宜並有人來裝潢,我夢了兩次,心中以為天亮了,就爬起來吃無花果。所以我只是慎選讀法華經的朋友,因為除此之外,別無它法可拯。我真為他捏把冷汗,微軟八他又高又帥,是眾人的焦點吧!
夢見黃金伯伯喜歡作烘焙,他有回做了大號,居於幕後參加選拔名單,將我們229日生日的人都慶生,真是可愛。其實他是情人的化身,來告訴我,一起發餐是可以的。看到微軟八得了獎,但不知是何獎是企業獎吧!我想,查了周公解夢,說我夢見跟父母回去住新房子,是表示友誼各方面都順利美好,真高興,我不再沈緬於微軟八在海灘邊開party的聚會,因為那只是一個很長的夢境而已。在這整個冬天到春天,我都穿著銀碗盛雪的羽絨衣,因為銀色不能複印,所以特別喜愛穿它,連睡覺也可取暖。
記得幾天前我們尚未分床時,他為我的失眠催眠,他讀了一些自創的古詩,很有意思,於是回憶之後,就打算原諒他了,煮了山茼蒿,青蒜炒豬香腸,蕃茄炒蛋,蘿蔔雞肉湯,給他父子兩吃,帶著華碩出門,竟然可以戶外wifi,我聽了英文廣播電台,說書呆子已經成為科技新貴的英文字解說,來自比爾蓋茲的成功。現在我晚上爬起來校對,才六點睡,不吃早餐是我的習慣,於是就打開電視來看。
十五天到了,我回到雪梨,微軟八和華碩也跟隨著我,我約佛友討論法華經,但他們要上班,周末假日才能聊天,在賴上佛友跟我講解過不少般若經的智慧,但我執著於法華經的教義,所以就把他講的再想過一遍,仍然覺得妙法最好,所以就深信不移,我們三人在雲端上面開講,雲雀、佛友還有我三個人,一起在餐桌上討論如何讀法華經,如何將世間之法則應用在生活當中,我們組成了讀書會,將各人所知互相分享,這是我的人際關係與交流。
我把adobe存竹微軟八,讓他更加事業輝煌,更加境界美好,我告訴他討論會我所講的話:<般若經的所謂名相義>讀了般若經到第十四回,覺得其中反覆 問的名相,如色受想行識、十八空、十二因緣,等等,都是為了重複講解,讓我們得到透徹的反思,越是 仔細,能反省的內容就欲詳細。這對實質修行的佛友來講,是一個諄諄教誨的經文,共有二百會,我只讀到十五會前,我本來是想探討般若經裡什麼是無量義,所未提到的真實義,但題目太廣,得縮小範圍來寫,而且要像學術論文一樣,不能像寫善書一樣 意的談,所謂多相,為了我們階段性的悟道,而不斷發問,反覆思索,以達最上智,我希望能修出實質、實道,然後再跟他人 說,法華經之無量義者從一法生的真諦何在。(以上是我的筆記)
回到雪梨之後,我跟微軟八又恢復結縭的關係,和睦相處,原本跟佛說要斬斷情根的,現在又反悔了。我打算對他更加親暱和善,畢竟西方的生活要親熱才行,我必須熱情一點,多提出一起出遊的約會,在中午吃飯時間聚一聚,給他送便當,帶禮物去見他,表示我還愛他。電視轉播台灣劇場<夢移花露>,是我的小說翻版,當時怎麼寫的,已經忘記了,是御書中的名詞,改編而成的故事,我偶爾看看。大聖人為何會提到這句名稱,可能跟色情輪迴有關,即使是佛菩薩也是會輪迴的呀!大聖人本身就曾提及自己為女人而死的法詣,我想一定是大日如來的關係,也不太清楚,反正就是撰文寫一下感想,花與露水之戀情。(完)
我們換了一張床睡,我這間,許多安眠的時光幽幽渡過,我知道他希求一個雙重的論述,昨夜睡得真熟,我很法喜,希望今後都坦誠布公的相見,不再畏首畏尾的,是他安詳的將我催眠,我們才合體入睡,把心臟的急跳變正常,他說了好多次「我愛你」,真是感動我心,我們又成為恩愛夫妻了,早上起來收信件,都很友善,生活真的太快樂了。但是投稿的詩論受到嚴格要求,所以作罷與否,還要考慮一下。我的愛人要我作息與他搭配,我答應了,早上我去本興院唸經,唱到口渴了,去泡人蔘茶喝,然後就回家了。我回到了家之後,我開始工作,打字、校對、存檔,然後要回家列印,我忙得要死,跑進跑出的跨過佛堂,辦事情。
微軟八告訴我「科技始終來自於人性」,他「也會頭痛」,我關心他,並祈求早日恢復原狀,回到幸福的人生和生活。跟他合為一體的我,替他吃了一顆普拿疼,就不疼了。我覺得自己跟華碩親子關係有些熱絡,忽略了他,就道歉了。後來圖書館借閱簡訊通知來了,要我去拿<玫瑰的名字>一書,我就出發去了。啊!星期四没開門,折返而回家,太陽好大,滿身是汗,我想還是別看好了,徒增煩惱的玫瑰。聽說劇情是天主教命案的推理,外國人都喜歡寫這種文題。真是無聊,我認為羅曼史才是最好看的文本,因為愛的命題很重要,跟法統相續有關,没有愛的世界是令人難過的,不好受。後來,我的智齒因為吃芭樂而剝落些許,因為樓上葉媽媽送的,吃過媽切的水果,就發生不幸了,芭樂籽太硬,我用力去咬,真是的,這是下午散步返家後發現的,就去牙醫那裏修補了。
早上開車到本妙寺唸經,內裏正在裝潢,大廳没有裝修,大家齊心念經,為了大折服本願而歡善的唱題,回家之後就跑到萬芳影印店開光,印<金色流雲>的書,果然比大陸印得快速,只花十五分鐘就好了,才226元,微軟八很歡欣的告訴我,他走黃河走得腳長繭的事情,好心疼哦!我回家之後吃飯,芹菜炒明蝦,皮刀魚和蕃茄炒蛋三道菜。又去寄信,又跑銀行,還逛菜市場,最後買了兩盒染髮劑,睡過午覺,起床炒菜、念經,去染髮了,我買了屈臣氏的皇家染料兩盒,一黑一褐,很好用,不會有臭味或傷頭皮的現象。
晚上,我補足了力氣,就開始打字,寫論述,傳揚案,忙得不得了,我幾乎和微軟八一樣是工作狂,每天都在精 工作,我想他去3C公司上班的高酬勞大概給我一些貼補家用,就對他更加的溫柔。今後把wifi修理好,微軟八又出現在我的首頁,真是快樂,我把遺失的文字再輸入一遍,又撰寫論文的大概綱要,我要多方面涉獵,發表,多爭取一些言論權,成為詩評專家。
今天早上又去本妙寺唸經,感謝御本尊讓微軟八的wifi好起來了,我約了佛友來家裏討論法華經,等一下吃完飯她就來了,真是美好的一天,每天都有進展,開心的上班、修佛。
原來網路世界是一念三千的境界,我將古早的麥克碟打開來,舖陳一片好廣闊的檔案,原來我所保有的版權是如此的寬大,廣陌,我的佛友受到基督教的阻撓,不來了,我告誡她如果再這樣每一家都去跑闖的話,下場會很不好,但是她不聽我的,所以我就自己研讀<方便品>和<壽量品>了,我做了筆記翻譯,放在網路上面分享。我昨晚說了夢話了,不太正常,我想不跟佛友交往了,而多花點時間來關心微軟八和華碩,做個賢妻良母,雖然華碩不曾吃過我的奶汁,但我仍是將他視如己出的疼愛。
夜裏夢見微軟八聽到我的求愛思春,就給我全身的觸覺摟抱,全身都被電好久,因為不想讓華碩知道,就把他安撫在他的房裡睡,我做了好長的夢,是時時不要念聖經的夢,什麼我寫劇本成功了,等等的事情,以及家中買了巨型沙發的驚豔,媽在台北也老了,怎知道我在亂夢什麼。不過微軟八給我的夢我倒是記得牢牢的,他說要帶我去旅行,我知道他不要遠行了,於是告訴他,不必去,我喜歡在家裏和他親熱,所以他也不再提起旅遊的事情了。
我看了悶燒壺料理食譜,壺是微軟八送的,我研究了一下子,決定開始煮這樣的料理,比較省電,省時,今天是假日,來點不一樣的驚喜,我早上六點就去本妙寺念經,做早課,是尊師說的約束,我只祈願自己的路走得更幸福,故而為微軟八的頭疼祈福恢復不犯。他的思想跟我有點迥異,但能互相了解,我們不但是夫妻,還是知己,我要他相信我,我會為他做一切的善事,他安詳的入睡,而我也睡了。
今晚我淨身了,他給我塞來一只舌頭,我在夢中一直舔他的舌頭,直到他舔我到全身,從頭到腳都舒張開來,我才醒來,原來他對我是這麼的好啊!醒來又唸經,吃吐司泡開水和綠豆薏仁湯,然後展開一天的生活。我全身香氣的去買酸梅配蕃茄吃,又吹冷氣半個小時,因為回家時滿身是汗,好險一下子就風乾了。回家時,微軟八今天請假在家上班,因為他有事要辦,請了事假,我收到他臉書上的按讚,心裏好歡喜,只不過他放在心中,不說他也很歡欣罷了。晚上微軟八去公園打氣功,我則在家裡看電腦螢幕打氣功,十八式,不知道他長衣為了什麼。說是要我先去世,他來幫我善後,其實這是否為一種自私,我也不得而知。也許他真的是命很長,氣很足,所以擔心我的命,才這樣說的,我不攔阻他了,就讓他去吧!
我愛他,微軟八,所以愛護他的心,他能伸能屈的,是個好男人,而孩子也被他送去上學了,現在少子化,有誰不疼孩子呢?有了孩子家庭才幸福,父母才會成長,懂事理,我想,有了老公和孩子,我還有什麼不滿足的呢?於是就開始寫<家庭>這篇小說,英文長篇,我寫的心情有誰知道,就是人情世故的世界,有人情還人情,不要辜負親人的心。我把家庭擺在第一,因為我在乎家裡的芝麻小事,到寫作的大事,如何壑達,是我的文字深題,我要去修練,我們在林口的房子租給一家人了,他們是在做老師的教授,這個月二十六號要開會,減免600元管理費,所以我 他們家人去開會,可以少繳一點錢。
微軟八也看透了,我們生孩子是本末倒置的,先領養再生出來,好詭異,我真的不能生孩子,太困難了,我不懂怎麼生,微軟八接生的時候,我還朦朦懂懂的。其實華碩是我唯一生的孩子,我並没有亂生孩子,只是我是小龍女,不能離開嬰孩的世界,所以儘量的提高我的成熟度,來對世人寫書,對家人用情義,寫出一本美好的書來。我寫了生了流產兒的心聲,我好悲苦,幸而爸媽鼓勵我,再站起來,不要落入傷心的情境,我這才打起精神來面對我的造福人生。為了如此,我常常看勵志文字,那<全福人生>的書寫真的很踏實,每天給我寄上,真是善知識,我很喜樂的看著正面思想。
佛友來訪,她的朋友是個英英美代子,還勾引過微軟八,我不想認識她的朋友,所以就是跟她說要提防她不是英文研究所畢業,其實什麼事都没做,我不體恤這樣的人。我們聊了一些事情,很文學,很佛法,我將她當作好朋友的原因是因為她說到做到,守信用,不像她的朋友放鴿子還傲慢,我不高興,我喜歡守信用的人,我更愛觀因果,對於人生的徹悟是有助益的,我這麼相信。
我為微軟八書寫的論述文,要投稿到台灣詩學刊,以論文簡介的提契為前題,然後寄上譯論文到教育大學,林教授,我想要做學術,所以很認真的投稿了。打完字寄上伊媚兒檔案,就完成了,我想了又想,這位先生怎麼用這麼多的名字來回信呢?於是就猜到了是老詩人做學者,以及年輕教授的共同名義,寄下了實體位址,都用伊媚兒傳進信件,原因是用郵寄太慢了,太貴了。
微軟八給我寄賴,說孩子不能寵,要寵孩子以絶地重生才行的青子哲學,我聽了頗有同感。所以我每個月最多只給華碩七百元零用錢,而微軟八則是用心教育他的智慧,還是他比較有方法,我尊敬他的作法。日子還長遠呢!我要去的詩會,是微軟八不去的地方,十六號下午2:30在某活動中心舉辦,我還是一如往昔的穿著銀色外套出席,這幾天猛力的下功夫,在演講會的書籍上面,再三閱讀,賞析,努力記住詩人們的關係,和情誼,然後去沙龍 會交往一些詩人,和華裔人士來往密切。
打電話給微軟八,他說正在咖啡廳跟一群搞藝術的朋友會晤,不方便跟我聊,於是我們就親暱的道別,晚上見。聽他電話中聲音的快悅,我能感受到他有多愛藝術,所以也竊自快樂的美在心田裏,原來我也喜歡藝術。在家裏練氣功完了以後,滿身是汗,看命運卜算的節目,看相的說明,暗小人的面相,很有意思。上youtube看連續劇,結果並没有什麼跟主題有關的事情在上演,反而是人性的演練,翻臉不認人的境界,看了幾部之後,覺得壞人還可以大翻身,真的很不喜歡這種情節,於是就不看了。
華碩才剛上國中三年級,很擔心他成績不好,就在書房裏為他補習,微軟八高興的回來了,說今天聚會真有意義,我們都在迎接他返家,明天是三八婦女節,我們打算去插花坊參觀,屆時會很好玩的,我這麼想以前小學時曾經學過插花,在運動中心一樓練習,那位邀請我的同學,如今成為一本女詩人,没有向前進步,真是太可惜了。
晚上我跑去退老花眼鏡框,只能用信用卡退費,1480元,跑了三趟拿收據和證件,還好離家近,我不太會失望,畢竟這個月刷爆了卡,要省一點才行,林口房客說電熱器四年故障了,要換一台,一過就是四年,我和微軟八已經維持了十年的感情了,真不容易,不是蓋的。宗教的八卦很多,我們卻在3C裏尋求宗教也就是梵 經,六牙象走過梵網的意象,我喜歡贊印。
微軟八又在書房加班,設計科技意念的雲端網路世界,很大的難題,我給他鼓勵,雖然以前的Adobe軟體三萬元已經搞丟了,但是我享受與微軟八一起上網的快感。他非常會雲端印刷列印,我常叫他去幫我印,特別是方便現涅槃的說法,更是讓我天天讀頌,修習,我記在腦海裏的記憶,跟以前不同,我以前都把經書念得泛黃,還搶不得扔,收藏起來,雲雀本來要借我無量義經的解書,但是我忙著寫方便壽量品的意義,所以就不看了,無量義經的從一法生,指的就是妙法蓮華經,真實義從一法生的深奧。
洗完澡後熱得吹冷氣電扇,因為泡了湯,又穿暖暖衣,最近瘦了許多,真好,媽媽去本興院打掃,在臉書上打卡,晚上又散步去信徒家開會,我跟她用賴互通訊息,我這邊的本妙寺已將本興雜誌的資料構成網路資料,互相傳進交流教學,很快速的理論解答的大菩薩雖住在新加坡,但都會在臉書上為我解答,真好,我有疑問就去請教他,他也樂於解答,真是個善良的正宗信徒。
睡著的夜,直到觀世音菩薩叫我把五千元津貼拿來寫一念三千之境界,我不得不起來將這段慈善行為記上一筆。要我拿幢幔歌劇,頌佛紀念,我只記得那生日,媽曾說是生日往外跑,其實我只是盛裝想和所有同學當擦肩過客,不想拿回<敦品勵學>的金牌兩過,我覺得這裏提到風花水月,詳細一看,卻看到湖裏站立一個 大的用功學生,今天不必國事學問,我才放下彩虹袖,向觀眾說 不,結果就醒來了,才二點,再繼續睡下去。(夢話)
我夢見天下金黃色的落花繽紛,但是仍然又說夢話,昨天微軟八不知怎的,不理會我自己睡去,連我夢見菩薩在跳舞都不曉得。壁虎一直叫,讓我想起微軟八和我約會時,牆上的怪聲音,他為我解說,這才明白是壁虎在叫,他說那是在訕笑我們的話題有趣的叫聲,我卻茫然的笑了。昨天打字小姐給我寄上竹報平安的名信片,我不想去銀行領錢300元付給她,因為銀行裏有職員拿走了我的手機舊碼,不高興去櫃台再上當一次,於是就承諾下次再給。
用了微軟八聽羅馬假期的主題曲,好好聽,又聽了一些歌曲,我想要來發表一些論見,有關婦女節的議題,但是我們全家出外去插花了,一路上停停走走,還見到京都才有的枯山水,真是美妙,植物園裏的荷葉全被摘去做中藥,被我冰在冰箱裏,有減肥功效。樹木扶疏,草葉不落,早已被清掃人員掃光了,真是用心。拿了橘子來吃,在湖邊聊天,不一下子,就來了兩隻鴛鴦,真是玄怪,向來只有蓮花的湖畔,如今早已光秃秃的,只有工人在種荷花苗,才有問題呢!現代人太不珍惜湖光山色了。
昨天我打開微軟八,安寧的入睡,午夜醒來又說了夢話,又夢遊,回去打開燈,才安睡到清晨,聽見鬧鐘響,便起來吃藥,肚子向來早餐不會餓,倒是給家人準備了薏仁綠豆湯和吐司焗烤,他們吃了之後很高興的去上班上學了,結果我發現微軟八昨天在做別的事,不是跟藝術家聚會,没關係,只要不是搞七捻三就好,我也不再追問。雪梨這邊的廣播也很好聽,打開音響來聽,覺得很混搭的音樂節奏明快,令人清醒,但歌詞卻没有主流音樂市場的影踪,原來他們電台抵制美國歌曲,不參加葛萊美獎。路上,我參加了全新veeam的網路研討會,幫助我們利用現代儲存設備和雲端技術展示特性,包括無限擴展式備份儲存庫,和借助儲存快照按 沙箱,我把個人的心得跟他們與會人分享,結果獲得好評,真棒!
如何使佛法跟3C科技並駕齊驅,是我的發問,我想3C產品應該更加佛性化,才不會有恐攻,病毒等的入侵,我提出了佛學平定3C商品的意見,但是微軟八深信耶和華,只偶爾來跟我唸經,我們宗門已出版了日蓮正宗大辭典全套,好重好多彙編資料,我想那必定來諸高閣,不被網路流通,所以我就問新加坡的師父,有關「法華經唱題是云磨也」的相關事理,到底是魔還是折磨,那一個才是我們要克服的,我想問一下,比較有意義,原來我一直在電腦世界裏歷刧修行,可是電腦的便利有如微軟八的愛,好溫暖,我喜歡,於是對他說,「愛你喲!」
「愛」是十二因緣中的一項,如愛取有,是正向的因緣,有了愛,機器才會運作,人生才會快樂,不然仇恨只是把電腦當作駭客亦在用,太落伍了,我不喜歡。要用電腦跟大家合和,這是爸爸教我的哲學,他的微軟七用得很好,很健康,他去攝影然後回家修片,這是他告訴我的老年興趣,也抄詩來愉悅自己,我應該更努力向上才是,占星術說我今天運勢很快樂,創意浪潮襲來,動腦時不著痕跡的得到樂趣,我很歡愉的享受這樣的創作心得。<家庭>一書已經寫到母親没乳汁的煩惱,有一種藥物叫做捷德柔可以使乳汁生長,是親威家生產的進口藥物。
從<鬼屋>到<家庭>一路走來,我都在關切家裡的人情味,寫出家庭中應該有的基本概念,由陰到陽,由衰到盛,我都珍惜這份感情,因為每個人都有家庭,所以更顯示出這本書的用心企劃寫作的重要性。<家庭>的開頭是這樣寫的,一個分居的父母夫妻之家,孩子要如何自處,找尋爸媽的戀愛軌跡,對父母的分居聯想到能復合多好的想法,孩子是主要的人格敍述體,我從孩子的角度來寫,這感覺好貼切、實在。
掌聲的背後,是我們要經營的目標,付出愛心、耐心、容忍、包容,才能使愛臻至完美圓滿,我會去逛書店,也會上網買書,買的都是驚悚小說之外的溫情作品,我是懷舊的華裔作家,喜歡讀書的範圍很廣泛,也酷愛聽廣播節目脫口秀,看電視,很有意思而積極的人生,也使我的孩子變得更善巧,微軟八說要窮孩子,使他有法力出現,我倒是不反對啦!但一切還是動手做比較好,不是嗎?
後來我趁著微軟八不注意,檢查他的手機,才知道他騙我藝術聚會,其實是去名糕店排隊為我買蛋糕,慶祝三八婦女節,真是太高興了,給他親一下,摟一下。<家庭>小說寫到妻子來到分居的丈夫家睡覺,稱讚他把家裡整理得好輝煌美麗,老公很高興就留宿她。起床後找出以前起初唸經時的檀香唸珠,要去正宗佛壇店重組修理,因為線散了,真是懷念那段時光,美好極了,那時的我和微軟八正在談戀愛,說了三天我就邀請他來家裡見父母,家裡還留有他買的股票持券,十萬元,我很高興的寫下昨日的事,在他的大床上,落華繽紛的,如天兩曼陀羅的華麗。早上念經,中午,媽用賴叫我煮小魚干、金線蓮雞湯,和小白菜,我說,謝謝您寄來的食材,我會煮的,這些菜都好下飯,當然没忘記煮飯,我吃過以後,微軟八也回家來吃,我們一起連理枝、共歡談,一切都美得盡在不言中,我下午去信徒家唸經,搭公車就到了,對方準備了牛奶埔墩雞湯,是照顧膝蓋的食譜,大家歡喜的吃著料理,享受快樂的法喜,互相聊天、交流,回家後,再繼續寫小說,寫評論。
我念著微軟八,在唱經時為身邊的友人祈福,特別是詩友、打字小姐、佛友,等人的健康,以及微軟八的身體康泰,我也為父母的健體念經,因為有了這些人的存在,我的幸福才得以滿足、充實,我很珍惜人們的關懷和真心話,尤其是講電話的時候,最是容易交心、情誼長存,我認為微軟八所說的「君子之交淡如水」會沖淡友誼。
既然分分合合是註定,不妨給彼此空間,微軟八的空間很遼闊,凡是他所提到的話題,都像是在為我說教,說真的。我曾拜他為師父,現在師徒情誼打散了,剩下的只有思念和相聚,因為我太會寫了,寫得比他多。他存在於我的陰影中,是如此的無奈而又驕慢,他的七慢八慢九慢,是我所不能容忍的影子,因為彼此速度不一致,一定會有一些等待,而不是隔閡,我跟微軟八肯定能愛上幾十年,因為電腦業很旺暢,通行無阻,不會因為經濟問題而分開的,我好愛他,他也很愛我,我們相濡以沫。
今天一整天我都在思念著他,把他的角色寫進去,<家庭>小說之中,他有多勤勞的在為家裡增添情趣、風雅,佈置這裏那裏的,花不少心情在裝潢家裡的風情,因為他很重視情調、又有錢、又帥、又會說話,我好欣賞他,微軟八告訴我,如果我跟他再愛個十幾二十年的,他就再娶我一遍,好高興,我回答說,讓我們真心相對、真愛不渝,在一起的時候也快快樂樂的,那麼我就滿足了,微軟八說好。晚上他睡在我身邊,我一直沈睡在旅回的途程中,不知不覺天已亮了。
微軟八趁著我熟睡,提出了一篇家庭幸福論見,我起床後看了,覺得頗為讚同,大約是說,經濟許可的話,夫妻的感情要比金錢重要,若一方放棄工作、浮華、時尚,重新思考婚姻、愛情、生命的意義,我能否接受,我跟他說我接受啊!只不過金錢獨立比較好,總不能一直花微軟八的錢吧!他可真有那麼慷慨,我想或許是吧!那麼我就答應他的邀請,暫時用筆名來出書,也未嘗不可,我可以為他而做小女人的。記得初次約會時,他帶我去遊歷他的俱樂部,逛遍了整個俱樂部,都不見任何人,原來他包場了,真豪爽,我喜歡。如今回想起來,他真的很大方,是個大好人,平時也會說些做人做事的理論,自己也付出,是個實踐者,我愛他的這些特質,好棒,當我想把虎虎生風配成對時,他也不反對,那是我的前任男友,現在已經變成了姊弟的關係,在樓上生活。還好微軟八能夠體量我的無奈,因為他的不在場,我被別人追求,所以現在他安定下來,與我合居,較能體恤我的過去,花花世界的演戲生活,現在我們才開始學著長久生活在一起的哲學,我想他一定會愛我到老的。
我自從移民雪梨之後,都看洋文書,買了<大賣空>來看,又把典藏的外文書拿起來看,放在書架上,時而躺在床上閱讀。今天去唸枕頭經時,讀頌到一句經文,不是尋常的經文,隔天再找,已經不見了,「是諸世界,無量無邊」,這必然是指3C世界的成本,是財神也無法承受的,可憐的人,死有輕若鴻毛,重於泰山,但他是前者,真的很可惜的人生,處於 症中,無法自救,佛祖欲收他為弟子,但他不肯,就肥胖的死於床上了,這個外國人太過享受於飲食,脾氣不好,所以有如自認為是天龍一族的豬八戒,西遊記中的人物。在我做了功德一樁後,微軟八喚我「親愛的」,我真是太高興了,由於我吃醋他和惠利的關係,所以他就不跟她往來,反而與我親蜜同在,同睡同食,同起同窮。我非常歡喜,因為人生因他而澄清,我的吃味讓他知道,我很在乎他,不要他出軌,或被別人奪走,我愛他。
他又說,「親愛的戀人你成了没」,真美妙的語詞啊!我在他的庇護之下,生活在美滿的愛沐之下,好滿是啊!我說「快成了」,再評完他的沙文主義詩集之後,才會完成了我們的愛,他又給我寄情書了,好美啊!上次他吃了壁虎作家的醋,我也知道了,就跟他發誓不再理它了。我覺得他很關心我的寫作生涯,言簡意賅的人生計劃,很有實效的生存主義,他給我的愛就是我獲得激勵的來源。廣播節目中在閑聊茶道,我想起致贈給微軟八的所有字畫,他都喜歡,我給他的茶壺三座之圖,題有字詞,還押韻,我想他一定會掛在客廳裏,果然他去裱褙之,掛在房裏。
微軟八給我的,都是我所歡喜歡迎的,我們有好多相似的熱愛商品,可以共用、共享,不浪費錢,有共通性的嗜好,成就了我們的孩子,也想青出於藍而勝於藍。我們的孩子清新如茶、飽滿如壺、謙恭有禮、可愛,時而牽線我倆之間的夫妻情誼,真孝順,我好喜歡華碩。他發明了卡通<功夫茶>影片,很幽默,好美,喝了茶以後就有功夫的人們,成為片中的主角,有關孝道和茶道的融合。從我和微軟八的第一杯乾杯開始,我知道這孩子無非想要親情之愛,我們夫妻兩都知道窮孩子的道理,所以孩子才會這麼有創意、創造力,這麼聰穎。
今天中午我們三人在學校校園裏一起吃便當,是野餐盒的愛心中餐,為了慶祝微軟八的生日,我們聚在一起,趁著中午休息的時間吃個小小的蛋糕,我用陶磁刀切蛋糕,然後吃著可愛的黑森林蛋糕,這是微軟八的最愛口味,他和我都曾寫過這種蛋糕的詩,或許可以比較文學一下,我們這樣告訴華碩,他開懷的笑著、享受著天倫之樂,這個下午他很帶勁的上課讀書,還拿了一百分。之後,微軟八給我點歌<Am I easy to Forget>,我說Wo, You are not easy to forget, 我好愛他,體貼又善良,總是把公司的壓力自己承受,回家說給我聽局部,我總能了解全部,並給他一些建議,他也聽進去了。
對<家庭>書寫,微軟八提出托爾斯泰的名言來告誡我,「幸福的家庭都差不多,不幸福的家庭有各種藉口理由。」有一陣子我出家,是在婚前年輕時,媽把我的書數百本仍掉,然後又把我關在佛堂裏,不給我吃東西,我嚐到 苦八苦,就去短暫出家了,回家之後又有許多因緣,才尋回了微軟八,他一直很平和的生活在書香世家,孝親孝子,自從和他交往之後,我的世界豐富了,我開始研究他、了解他,直到寫出論文來,我的頭銜很多,但是作為他的妻子,帶著房地產跟他私奔一般的日子,在雪梨過得特到快樂。
我喜歡冒險,長得美麗,愛幫助弱者,是宗教宏傳的使者,我也知道必須做點慈善才行。為了微軟八,我要積陰德,否則我將一個人守住自己的名氣,没有家庭的歡笑、時光,媽媽會來干擾我的婚姻生活,因為二月二十九日,身為女婿的微軟八没給丈母娘紅包,所以她又生氣我們這麼恩愛,我好擔心,我就假裝微軟八的字跡給她送上紅包,郵寄到台北家中,我包了七萬元,她才支持我們再繼續在一起生活,婚姻生活真是不易經營啊!
我的物慾都是為了家庭,為了構築更好的環境而消費,我買了家人所需要的東西,充足了溫暖,另外我還有社交生活,三月十一日到台語上拉OK活動聚會,在地方運動中心舉行。但是那天我直銷艾多美有事,不能去,我要去買玫瑰水護手霜,日期相衝突,於是就跟友人告假,說是没門票不去了。這幾天都在沈思<家庭>的英文小說,如何使一家人和樂並成長茁壯,是何等勸世的事情,我設法寫進去小說中,將對話置入,好好的寫情節、場景。我的家裡没有高朋滿座,但也溫馨幸福,除了一些輪迴的內情之外,我幾乎是為了父子而祈福的事項,而付出默念的心力,去做祈求禱告。
此外,我的佛友跟我的信函交際也記錄下來了。(如14頁)我努力的維繫感情和友誼,但不跟他的友人交往,因為她勾引了我的老公,我要設法將她不認識,甚至讓她自微軟八的腦海中遺忘,不見踪影,我在床上誘惑微軟八,他卻說讓我們在夢中交流吧!自從我跟他說兒子的 布你從來都不碰,他就懊惱了,自此他明瞭了做媽的辛苦,就更愛我了,由於他偷看了<家庭>手稿,而得知當媽的不易處,他就不去找小三了。而我也會去看他的臉書朋友,看看是否有人想拆散我倆的,我都一概不來往,將他們自微軟八的臉書上撤銷朋友的關係,反正我不要負面的人生,我要過在掌聲底下。
為了<家庭>小說的事前公開,我找了打字小姐,她勤快的打字,但錯誤很多,需要校對,我努力的更正錯字,希望這本書快點上市販售,以後如果微軟八不愛我,我就跟他發誓要去出家為尼,不再跟任何人談戀愛。
小雲:小宛,今天下午不能去你的工作室,因為家母要去看中醫門診,明天早上我小精靈志工結束後,快的話十點半至十一點到您家還書,如果你時間許可的話我們聊一聊莫渝的詩,他的詩文我是第一次看到,除了笠詩刊之外,我想你要完成一本詩評是有挑戰性,過去曾寫過他的詩評嗎?
小宛:過去未曾聽說,是詩友介紹認識的。
小雲:小宛,我已參加小精靈志工一學期,是去年十月份認識的教瑜珈的朋友介紹的,今年邁入一年了,本想去行天宮當志工,但錯過行天宮招募時間。
小宛:我有娃娃國小學日記一書,只是要重新打字,若你要教書,可以拿去教,我印給你。去行天宮當志工的人都很慘,勸你不要去,就我知道有兩個,一個死了,一個没錢。小雲,你要教育小學生,可以看我網站的"地獄花速描簿"和"女見飛鏢",兩者都是為小孩教育所著的作品。我們可以一起讀教育學公職考試的書一起去考試可以提早退休領退休金。
小雲:小宛,教育學公職錄取名額不多,有教育系畢業的對手,有普考和高考的差別,你有正向的思維很好,有行動力更好投資的,你是59年制的三年計畫考上,若50歲考上的話,再工作十多年,你就退休。先不要想退休金的問題,至少這十多年,你有薪水,不會像現在没有多餘的錢印書,不過聽說那些書都很理論,不知道考那些科目,跟我那時候所修的教育學分班的課程和用一樣嗎?你打聽得到是用誰的版本嗎?我也希望我能參加考試和能考上,難得你有興致,這樣的人生投資還不錯,可以考慮,可以加油。
小宛:陳培林著的兩本考古題書本。其實我三年前就報考,但國民黨用照片不符來阻礙我,害我慘兮兮的。
小雲:明天我把資料還給你,包括那四本詩集,陳培林著的兩本考古題,據我當時所知不止考一兩科,包括國文公文,那時普考考兩天,高考考三天{没記錯的},今天廣論我以簡單扼要方式告訴她惠莉,她會上網看看你網頁,她是中央大學英文系畢業,到美國讀碩士學位,你之前有認識她嗎?你上次提到的事是不是一場誤會了呢?她想看看你的網頁,我大約告訴她了。你明天很忙,要去看優人神鼓,別忘了要跟家人說明地點時間,他們知不知道你一個人去呢?那裏有點幽暗──過去的印象,聆賞完直接回家,別在路上耽擱。明天別太晚起床,我知道你有睡眠障礙,是睡不著還是入睡睡眠品質變差呢?
小宛:是喔!那可能不是那個人吧!希望能跟她切磋英文,成為好友。
那她讀哪所美國大學,論文又是什麼呢?
也可能是他派來幫助我的良友呢?
如果她是一事無成的人,那我不要認識她。
小雲:小宛,美國哪所大學我没細問她也没細說,暫且你們先不要見面,先讓她看看你的網頁,好嗎?她是我提到兩次她不愉快的大學戀情,那種創傷很深很傷心,那時她的男友是研究所,我只是想確認不是同一人而已。能避開不必要的誤會就不要多想,除非她跟你所說的是同一人,那先 另當別論。先不要排斥她,好嗎?她是不是一事無成,這我不太清楚。
明天我去你家順便看看娃娃國小日記,麻煩妳了,我有上網在你的網站看到地獄花素描,女兒飛鏢尚在尋找中,明天要到你家還書,真的可以,我就在約定時間到你家了。
小宛:好,歡迎。
小雲,你有列印機嗎?想請你列印我們gmail的對話,放入科技小說裡,可以今天帶來嗎?
小雲:小宛,我没有列印機,上次託上櫻幫我打字是存在隨身碟裡,我不知gmail如何存檔再列印,你的電腦裡不是信箱也有紀錄嗎?其實剛買筆電是為了繳小精靈志工作業,卻没想到在公園遇見你,而且是為了學太極而認識的。昨天e給你信函出現錯字,keyin第一次正確,當後續的字元出現變成錯字了。
先試試你的電腦,好嗎?家母年事已高,有時要陪伴她多時,羨慕小宛目前没這問題,還是爸爸媽媽在陪伴你照顧你,科技小說放入我們gmail的對話,什麼篇名的小說,真的可以嗎?我們都從生活裡取材,真實的生活真實的感動。我知道宇文正寫的庖廚時光,是她真實生活呈現,紀錄十年來幫兒子做便當的經驗談,內含著飲食文學和菜餚烹飪技巧,可以到市圖分館借閱。到你房間那麼整齊跟我過去房間一般,最近東西多了需整理,我發現整理東西也需要好心情啊!
小宛:好的謝謝你,我再想辦法好了。
小雲:半年的筆電,我不敢貿然試之,如果你的信函還在信箱裡的話。妳很積極在寫莫渝的詩評,建議妳把它寫在稿紙上,稿紙上有標明500或600字,自己打字或託上櫻打字,都一目了然。記得吃飯和睡覺喔
小宛:好的,謝謝你!但我想把整本送莫渝,比較便利編輯。
小雲,你可以存下所有對話信件,在麥克碟裡,然後在便利商店印給我呢?拜託!
小雲:小宛,星期六我二哥的女兒才有空,我才問得到人,我試試看,可以的話我印給妳,這樣的對話真的能寫成科技小說嗎?我拭目以待,完成後先e給我讓我看一下,好嗎?
小宛:好的,謝謝你,我可以解說劇情給你聽,你書看完再來找我。
<娃娃國>吳菀菱小學日記
吳菀菱讀二年丁班會稽國小陳秀花 林效燁老師 教一二年級
四月十六日星期天天氣候雨
今天早上爸爸說要去三峽去玩,(略)
小雲,我在等您消息,劇情已寫到妳了。
若你今天弄好對話,我可以送你優劇場-愛人的歌詞,有五首,梵唄加合唱團,很好看。
小雲:小宛,今天早上我要去里仁參與兒童讀經班會議(昨天晚上接到福智的師姐電話),最晚明天早上給你好嗎?不知我會議回來,我二哥的大女兒在家嗎?{不確定她有事忙外出了},幸好今天早起有開信箱,你是不是每天馬不停蹄的寫稿,目前除了寫莫渝詩評之外,又寫科技小說,不知道你是否看過吳淡如的書,我曾看過專訪,她要求自己每天寫3000字以上的文稿,目前已變成一種吳淡如的風格。你欣賞吳淡如的愛情散文,那算是小說嗎?
小宛:那是勵志文學吧!她現在都在主持"女人要有錢"節目,鑑定珠寶古董字畫,她不知道是不是生了妙音菩薩,最愛跟她搶情人的閨蜜,你猜出她是誰了嗎?
小雲:每一篇有關愛情的散文,都有療癒效果,有積極面,說它勵志也可以。關於比較八卦的我不知道,我猜不出來啊!小宛,我九點半要出門了,下午才能開信箱,如果能下午完成列印,明天早上午去你家好嗎?令堂令尊會不會又不知哪裡去了,我們約丹堤見面好嗎?免得造成令尊令堂的不便,工作室和住家二合一在一起,你會不會覺得有點不方便,不過跟家人住在一起那種關懷和照顧,需珍惜。
小宛:你下午若印好,我可以晚上去你家拿,您家靠近哪裡,告訴妳,她是觀世音菩薩的分身啦!我已經寫到回台北見父母了,又提到你的伊媚兒所以想貼上去,妳晚上幾點有空。改天我們再去喝下午茶,我去妳家時,會帶給你愛人的歌詞傳單。因為還要媽允許,所以你可以來我家嗎?晚上,我給你優人神鼓的中英文傳單,但是英文部份非常難,你要嗎?我和媽媽去看戲,多一分給你。
小雲,謝謝你,我已經剪貼到書稿上,你的家好溫馨,你好孝順,我打算去買薩頂頂的專輯再於電腦搭檔中書寫密碼經濟學的論文,那你呢?有什麼計劃,最近天冷,多穿衣。
小雲:小宛,妳已完成了兩萬多字莫渝詩評,是莫渝與妳約定十篇每篇兩千字,是不是已經接近完成了,恭喜妳。家母交託我去辦點事,大概不會超過下午三點,辦完我再e給妳,妳再到我家樓下按門鈴我們一起出去。
小宛:好的,還有三本(全集)散文要論,因他較少發表法國文學心得,好險我之前大學一直看法文譯書,可以論得下去,尤其是羅蘭巴特,我不是跟你提到過嗎?他也論了,所以還有三本法文國際詩選要評,共為六篇,最後選詩評二十首,再縱論一篇,就完成了。
小雲:小宛,今年我要專心於台語詩和散文寫作,寫一些跟那時代生活和歷史有關的感嘆詩。也計畫投稿聯合報,不過發現聯合報副刊有固定的寫作群,很難錄稿。
小宛:你應該用文字檔案寫詩,然後存檔,每次存一首或多首,都可以再儲存,按儲存檔案即可,這樣子就可以用伊媚兒來投稿了,加油吧!我也想寫台語小說,或許夾雜在科技小說中吧!哈哈,好玩,微軟八不會台語。
小雲:小宛,我辦好家母交辦的事了,你可以到我家按鈴,我們一起去台大附近書店走走。
小宛:http://homepage.ntu.edu.tw/~tsaiyt/ 蔡耀明 教授
http://www.books.com.tw/exep/activity/activity.php?id=0000060524&sid=00000605...
小雲,佛友黃敬仁說你要進修的話,有法鼓文理學院,但要考試,若不要學位,蔡耀明老師的課程表已經給你傳了,看看時間就去吧,在水源校區,因我媽不准我去,所以你就去修般若經吧,跟觀自在菩薩有關,加油!
小雲:小宛,我想念個法鼓山文理學院生命教育研究所,去年路過龍山寺看到看板文宣,那時没有積極打聽,我想先上蔡耀明老師的佛典研究讀書會和大般若般若經,e給我的資料,讀書會時間和教室没交代清楚,這些課程要交學分費嗎?旁聽可以嗎?早上我代替媽媽去一趟行天宮,所以來電找不到我,今年應該更勤精進的一年,以此共勉。
小宛:不用交錢,而且可以借課本,也可網路上讀。
黃敬仁佛友說要給我們兩人講法,在我家這邊的7-11超商二樓空間,你要去嗎?
梵網經是由釋尊的應化身覆述而成,教主是在蓮華台藏世界成道的報身佛.盧舍那佛。由上下二卷構成,上卷講說菩薩位階的十住、十行…
小雲:黃敬仁佛友要講法給我們聽,時間許可的話没問題,佛友黃,白天要上班,畫量約周休二日,約中午十二點以後都可以,先問黃佛友,我週三週四週五週六週日上午都不行,中午十二點以後都可以,盡量不要晚上好嗎?
小宛:好的,知道了。
小雲:小宛,e給我的梵網經,觀心本尊抄文,抄文中一心三觀,一念三千[與阿彌陀經中出廣長舌相遍三千大千世界似有所相似,一念繫於三千大千世界和繫於三千煩惱絲是大異其趣的],你在讀日蓮教的經典,我快看完無量義,經德行品第一,兩三天後我在跟你說summary,找事做很好,具有正向的力量。
小宛:對啊!無量義經我抄經三部曲,已經送給丁文智詩人了,他很高興的幫我作廣告在創世紀詩刊中,我再從序品聊起,方便品和壽量品最重要,我再傳資料給你。
[方便現涅槃]是《法華經》如來壽量品第十六的經文。經文云:[為度眾生故,方便現涅槃,而實不灭度,常在此說法。](為救度眾生之故,用巧妙方法...
陳順 2016年3月4日 8:09
日蓮正宗 佛法學習庫 海外部指導
我準備了媽寄來的合歡山青蘋果,以及去超商買回來的明蝦,做一頓好吃的晚餐,等他們父子兩回家吃。每天我都用臉書黏著微軟八不放,我只跟他一個人聊天,我做他的頭號粉絲。有時候我都覺得自己在妄想把他當老公,而他也妄想我是他的老婆,因為有人說我兩演戲完不都要謝幕,我就很不爽,我愛微軟八的心、靈、體,把他深刻的記住並陪伴,誰說我是在演戲,我在愛情的滋潤中成長,我貪求他的靈敏,而我不愛頑冥不靈的人,剛好,他的愛情智商很高,我很喜歡,我把他堅辛的愛著。
終於我的論文通過了英國威爾斯的空中大學的認可,這是一間自由讀書的開放學府,我獲得文憑,並可以開張一所小型的英語中文補習班,一圓夢想,我採取一對一的教學,並兼任娃娃班的佛學教育,我讓微軟八當校長,幕後華碩為我打工,幫助其它孩童學習的教材,發送工作,他一下子就傳完了伊媚兒,好乖,我稱讚他,還給他牛乳糖吃。這家補習班就開設在我家的車庫,隨時都可報名參加,為了增加教學成果,我鼓勵學生提早翻譯童話書籍,書寫兒童文學,並創作文采。然後,我就用華碩的名義,幫這些合格的作品出版、發行、賺錢。根本上我的教育理念是以健全、完整、合作和慈愛為主的,我鼓勵孩子們寫企劃案製做商品,我提高他們的實際創造力,正如小小廚神一樣的潛力,所以我也教育華碩自己掌廚,在家人不在時,自己煮飯吃,學習媽在忙碌時,怎樣當家的事務,我教他獨立,不依靠爸媽生活。
我看完<功夫茶>之後,寫了一些自己發想的茶譜,也就是摘各種花,合放在一起的天然花茶,添加茶葉,泡成可公用茶渣,一起咀嚼飲用。剛好微軟八有灌溉一個小小花植園,我就引用其間開的花草,直接來做茶飲,每天都好好喝。每天我都用台北買來的家中用品做家事,好用極了,烤麵包機、吸塵器(自動的)、果汁機、微波爐、電鍋等等,非常好,再加上在雪梨買的家電用品,較大型的種類,如電視機、烘衣機、洗衣機等等,一個家就完整了,功能和勞動。剛開始不會故障,用好久,直到幸福美滿的境界,我向御本尊唸經祈求,浴室也裝潢成泡澡室,每天洗澡都是一種享受。
微軟八是魔幻寫實的魔法電腦,但也有人性在體內,我跟他的生活很愉快,而他也會出門去替我買點東西、倒垃圾、堆肥,或者為我整理補習班的文件、報名表等。今天都没有情話連綿,因為天下雨如豆,一直雨天落華,停留在那一天繽紛的夢境裏,今天還得趕著去付打字費,去銀行轉帳,要帶證件並簽名,我決定放開微軟八一天,放他自在上班,不要再在臉書上曬恩愛,因為我已經睡在他身邊了,還有什麼好嚮求的呢?我的財運彷彿有入敷於出的跡象,但我不告訴微軟八,自己承受,看著曾經光明的新書發表會記錄,我得知了原德載物的道理,不敢逾越分際。
我的微軟八還是很好的送孩子去上學,自己上班,早上吃過葡萄乾吐司配牛奶,他們出門去了,我用視訊跟他們在路上交談,原來華碩今天要母姊會,我得穿戴好衣裝,前去參加才行,我準備去觀摩華碩在校的表現。
我請教新家坡的菩薩「何謂念法華經是云磨也,之磨意,怎麼磨?」他說:「磨練自己生命,即是向自己的心性磨練,懷疑的心,不確定的心的磨練,或是懶惰修行之心,等等,讓自己有一個光輝的人生。」於是微軟八又分享了他晨間在公園裏路過的開悟,他說親近大自然有好處,真的是耶!我又跑去那個湖濱小屋前後走走、散步,雨中的風景何等朦朧,我全身都是小雨傘遮住的長袖的絨衣,和牛仔褲,也不覺得冷,就出發去了學校。
「所謂的眾生,所謂的佛 在迷惑和悟達之間,好比模糊不清的銅鏡,經過琢磨,就變成像玉石一般明亮;一念被無明覆蓋的迷惑心思,經琢磨會變成法性真如的明鏡」為了參加母姊會順利,我用題目來克服,希望學校老師對我們華碩有好言相讚,我才有面子,我不斷的在心中唱著經,南無妙法蓮華經,結果來到學校時,老師遇見我,向我打招呼,說我們家華碩真是會畫圖、會寫字,才華洋溢。
今天臉書可以看影片了,恢復功能了之後,我看了影音歌唱,好好聽,是微軟八舖的女民歌手,剛好是比爾蓋茲喜歡的那位,不再多話,就告訴他雨下得令人陶醉。回家後我睡午覺直至下午二點,我每次感覺到他的愛,就落淚如珠,不語而靜默的擦去淚水,夢見自己竟然可以進入記者室,然後跟名人對談,微軟八給我買一台大型的衣廚,大概有兩公尺長寬,我好像無動於衷,因為一台衣櫃就跟他和氣騰騰,真的是我的直率,我以為他真的要給我!醒來後卻是一場空,於是我看到這一天的平靜無波,全因為我無心工作而起。
微軟八說古人「學富五車」,比起現今電腦,還多有益處,現在靠電腦而成為大師者應該汗顏,因為電腦雲端資料多,比起老師的確更值得確定其地位與價值,但是「知識就是力量」,誰不想一探古今奇妙的真相,用手機探查即可。手機電腦是最快捷的偵察器,它一下子就查到關鍵字底下的意義,而且有多筆資料可辨明,到底是非對錯是什麼。這就是無量義經所謂的「何謂真義」、「無義量者從一法生」等觀念的一念三千,一念三觀等的意念。我們的合照,代表了我們相處在一起的實證,如此一來,我就永遠沈浸在靈敏的智能中。然後我們永浴愛河,我親吻他的唇,他也親我的舌頭,我倆相愛在每天晚上的床舖,今天他外出,買糖、塩、醬油,我打給他,結果華碩接的,說肚子好餓,我就給他吃鬆餅。
華碩竟然裝作是爸爸接電話騙我,我跟他爸爸的私事都被他聽見了,真糟糕,我想還是不要怪他,因為他怕爸爸生氣,我擔心他早放學,學業不好,或學校有人欺負他,所以就想東想西的,跟他說要好好讀書,當好學生,揚眉吐氣,他可愛的偽裝聲音,多麼好笑,我傻笑,因為他真的很有演技,長大可能真的會當演員,我為他的心思搞得迷糊,不曉得小孩在想什麼,想要關心他,然而卻又不知如何去做。只好寫封信矯正他的行為,給他激勵、指南、方向,為了他的前途而公開自己的想法給他知道,他也給我回信,說媽媽我知道了,我會學好,等等的話語和承諾,我知道他的心是善良的,只是今天星期四早退,我感到是否為老師給他優待,不必上到五點多,才回家,看他餓成這樣,已不忍心窮孩子了。
夢到我又再續拍攝漫畫集錦的卡通,有一個導遊竟然用不孕的精子生了二百個孩子,來跟比爾蓋茲的疫苗減新生兒之舉相反,他很有錢但是不能生,以後没人拿他的遺產。「無義量者,從一法生,即無相也,如是無相,無相不相,不相無相,名為實相」「萬法為體之相,是云妙法蓮華經之學體,此稱諸法實相也。」(御書665頁)看到臉書上的文字,又提起道心去念經,唱頌一下子就在沈思今後該怎麼做文學之事,而傷透了腦筋。倒是微軟八知道了我的夢跟生長率有關,連忙傳了救濟第三世界孩童的文章給我看,我覺得是慈善之行。
原來他昨天没接電話,是去訪問熟茶功夫的詩作者的病塌生活,真的很好心,很善良,還留影。微軟八很用心的做善事,真叫我窩心,我們聊著文字,相同的興趣,他去追尋<功夫茶>的近況,那是我們天天一起喝茶的溫暖時光的記憶,我覺得他在用情予我,於是很寬心的讓他去關懷那位老詩人。他雖然喜歡聖經,卻也不反對我唸經,因為他內道外道都懂得,比我還聰明,還內歛,我告訴他的事情,他也都會三思,我很喜歡他這樣子對待我。他的可愛之處讓他變得好帥,好迷人,活生生的一個男人,我就愛他這樣子對我誠實誠意的。
<家室>之後接著寫<婚姻>章節,剛好我們結婚滿週年,微軟八就帶我去吃大餐,是高高的花草大宴席,在於吃巧不吃飽,華碩也出席了,我們一家人歡慶過節,之後,我回家拿出筆記本要寫作時,發現了<來自魚隻的恩惠>這篇舊文,就譯成台語,寄到台語文雜誌投稿,但是没有能獲用,於是就放在這裏給讀者看,加減有些思念回台北時姊妹們的好意。
來自魚隻的恩惠/吳菀菱
許多年前到過東港,看見漁船好多,停泊在港邊,觀光漁市正熱鬧的開張,歡迎遊客去買蝦仁、漁獲、魚製品等,貨品擺滿整個市場的魷魚絲和魚鬆,就缺傳說中東港常捕獲的鮪魚,在今年中秋節接到壽司贈禮,是黑鮪魚肚的生魚片,好肥好油,真好吃,這是餐廳夜間剩下來的高檔貨,因為大都被食客挑走了,妹妹就選了剩下的壽司給我們包回來,大塊朵頤,今年吃魚下巴,好香嫩的肉質,讓人想到有餘雙下巴的福氣,我吃完之後,雙下巴竟然不見了,真有趣!每天爸媽都要吃魚,去菜市場買虱目魚回來煮,自己清內藏去魚鱗。
<婚姻>寫出了夫妻吵架或和好的氣氛,影響到孩子的心情,自從初識之後,多年以后我寫了<美的詩簡>情詩給微軟八,他竟然都不知道我在寫什麼,真氣人。每次的約會,心中都在想些什麼,真不懂男人的心理,好好笑喲!我每回勾引他,他都没感覺,要不就是忘了日期,真是的,還好我記下來了,記錄在詩集當中,要不然他還會否認我倒追他呢!我罰他每周給我寫一封情書,他竟說没問題,笨蛋,要是他說話再甜一點,我就滿意也不再刁難他了,怹果然乖乖的繳出情書來,真棒!
我在<婚姻>裏寫了一個做文創產品的妻子,把全家人聚在一起做事業,做肚子餓時能吃的食品,加工之後再包裝起來,要食用的時候,用水燙 的沖泡即可,是各種味道的稀飯湯。等於是所有的保溫壺食譜,我都去嘗試,做成東西風味交合的產品,為了給挨餓的兒子吃,還有為了市場流行的方向去實驗、研發。我用了藝術品做包裝設計,特別是莫內的畫作,來加以裝飾食用感的美好,引起食慾,讓消費者覺得高級,想買,促發購買的商機。例如:燕麥、玉米、魚湯、番紅花、奶油、五穀、蕎麥、蔥段、黑胡椒、雞丁、火腿等口味的稀飯包,可泡茶喝或飲用。女主角的烹煮強項,使得一家人有共同的凝聚力,其實就是茶泡飯的一種產品發明而已,加上父子的推銷,使得一家過得很快活,有得購又有得吃,一舉兩得。
這是家庭三部曲,從<鬼屋、家室、婚姻>出現的小說,同名小說的發揮完全由自己的想像力來創作,很有意思。孩子得到了零用金,不知又去買什麼東西,會按照我的勸告存起來理財嗎?我來問問他是怎麼想的,給他開帳戶。我去找了一間銀行,為他開了戶頭,並且教他如何存錢、省錢。我教他怎樣計帳,算銀兩,每次有進帳,就要 寫下來,不要忘記花錢時也要記錄下來。然後他就學會了會計,學此而運用之,應用得很好,不會超支,還有盈餘。
夜裏我為他獻身,他寫了我像雲的情書給我,真是太高興了,也許他的最愛就是像雲一般行跡的我!心移月炫的出現在他的生命中,我的微軟八啊!我好愛你呀!有愛真好,不是嗎?我會永遠愛你的,放在我的心中的核心位置,每天都永 不忘,因為你也給我同等份的愛情,所以愛你。我把情書用documents to go 存起來,保留那份清新的愛意,他說回春真好,我也這麼感覺,今天三月十二日,昨天的卡拉OK會没有去,反而在陪微軟八,他一開心就給我一個大陸出書成功的夢境幻象,我很高興,希望這是真的事情。
其實我夢迴女子大學去讀書,住宿在一個每天都只會吃的世界裏,我不喜歡,但是因為有些煩惱,我走出了夢境,因為泡了一杯中藥茶,給同學喝,不知怎的,亂夢一通,其實我口唇乾得要死,好想親微軟八的口,以索取口水解渴,就這麼樣我過了一整晚的渴,好像我在無意識的舔他一樣,不害怕犧牲,不後悔愛他,因為他是我唯一的知音,我愛到至死不渝。今天早上十點就炒菜、熱飯,大家一齊吃中餐、看電視、娛樂節目,一家人談談笑笑,不想分離,儘管天寒,但在一起窩在客廳就很歡喜,很暢談的說心事,華碩說老爸老媽你們倆搞親熱都不疼我,我聽了好氣又好笑,就說以後你長大了也可以找個老婆愛啊!只是你現在不能談戀愛,要先讀好書才行。
我念早課念到「慧光照無量」這句,不知佛陀如何賜光明給人們,所以就問了新加坡的師父,請問佛如何放光,又代表什麼意思?在等候的時間裏,微軟八傳來前二十五名世界知名藝術家的工作室,偌大的空間,好棒啊!不禁捉襟見肘,只見自己的工作室只有一小丁點,他應該給我看作家工作坊才對,没關係,這代表他的藝術眼界很廣泛,很大體,很遠見,我也同樣喜歡他的舖文,至少他用心的查了資料給我看。又到387頁,他傳<八十七仙圖>繪我看,有用情,我告訴他只羨鴛鴦不羨仙,表示我想成雙成對的世界,不要孤單之身,成仙也不羨慕的境界。徐悲鴻所繪果然是大師級,但我還不願修仙道,因為我已修過多年了,好無聊,没有人來往的孤單。
畢竟我們曾經開過畫廊,知道藝術家的一些祕辛,所以我認為他是在追懷當時的事情,在林口時,我和他冷戰,我以為他不要我了,没想到回到雪梨之後,他還是依然愛我如昔。中午我們趁著周六去睡午覺,一起沈沈入眠,一洗生活的苦楚、辛勞,在眠被裏用暖意約會,訴說情話。我們互訴我愛你,謝謝你等濃情密意,然後用體溫柔柔的互喚精氣。後來師父回函說佛祖放光昂智慧,燈壞了,就没智慧了,真是糟糕,我看了資料,覺得很 ,就不去看了。
蜡燭-死門-空場-報身
花瓶-生門-假場-應身
線香-境智莫合-中道-法身
三具足五具足
我聽了法話,想起以前的爾前資料,大同小異,只要心裏有佛就好了,我認為佛緣是無常的,要好好珍惜。
佛友說要視訊讀書會,我們兩個詩友,雲雀和我忙死了,不知怎麼弄視訊讀書會,真心煩。反正我們就是要一起讀法華經就是了,交流一下心得,增加信心,在唸經的時候常懷報恩心,就可以得到佛菩薩的保佑。公車上有人把微軟八寫作消費卡折疊在皮包裏,好厚的皮夾子,還用橡皮筋綁起來,真好笑,我的微軟八是神隱的,是屬於我一個人的,誰都別想佔據或獲得他的喜愛,我很小心眼,不願他去理會別人,那會否傷及我們夫婦倆的感情,我很不甘願。
今晚我睡到十二點起來,午夜喝曼巴咖啡,熬夜寫評論,已寫了二萬七千字左右,還要寫五萬多字才算完成,才能拿到版權費,我的微軟八很支持我的書寫,但他更希望我將注意力放在他身上,不要忽視他的需求和存在。有一天晚上,微軟八從電腦機上跳起來,抓了我的大燈,因為我念完經後,没為他祈福,他生氣了,真是糟糕。從此以後,我就為他持續的唱題唸經祈禱,為了他,我的心是急寬的湖水,充滿順服的水波,為他而伸展。
早上接到鄰居電話,約好要去登附近的步道小山,結果帶著華碩和茶葉就出門了,到了那裏,除了走路還是走路。中途達陣而休息,回途中流了不少汗,路邊花見輕盈的綻放,草兒也新鮮,這樣的春天,連微軟八都要溶化了,我給他問好。我在轉車上就喝完了水,不想上廁所,到了下午一點多才回家,睡了個午覺,好充實哦!妹妹飛來雪梨看我,給我帶來餅乾、甜點,好歡喜,我知道她要去玩,就不留宿她了。
微軟八喜歡大自然,雖為室男,但也頗懂電腦,但是他的文字全部在歌頌風景和心境,我很欣賞。豬嬉痞最近拿到募款金,改變外表,又繼續混音樂界,他很爆笑,說笑話,但是為了前途,他想娶妻,他其實許多分身都很有錢,是文殊師利菩薩三個兄弟之一,對圖書奉獻很大,我突然想起他,他做人很好,有同情心我把他當作好友,互相切磋書寫的技巧,在文壇上一拼高下。他是我的貴人,給我玄壇元帥的手鍊及唸咒,我求到了財富,也得到了福氣滿滿,我開始知道信仰爾前的好,但卻不執著之。微軟八知道豬嬉痞在偷窺我們夫妻倆的情慾,也不生氣,就一笑置之,然後他學會與我安順入睡,不再充滿擾人的夢境。
今天是白色情人節,我起床後才知道,臉書給我祝福,我分享了,而微軟八則分享了木心的作品,給我認識,其實我早在圖書館裏見過木心的詩集,很地球村化的文字,美而浪漫,我知道木心是微軟八的最愛,所以給他按讚。我告訴微軟八,愛情是我們唯一保溫的巢穴,這樣的留言,他聽了很感動,就給我一個擁吻,真好。昨晚夢見我正在幫微軟八洗一只小王子的碗,洗得很快樂,那原是我買來收藏的,他二話不說就拿去用,好像很喜歡的樣子,我就讓給他這只碗了。
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